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AIBU?

not to pass on post (a bit long)...

19 replies

yarnjunkie · 14/03/2016 12:54

We recently moved home after quite a long and complicated chain, during which our vendor requested my number so that they could keep us up to date after they lost faith in their estate agent and solicitor. We built up a rapport over the months and met at the house several times with our kids present etc.

The day before completion they notified me that they had left it too late to do a mail redirect (which I know is a lie, I believe they were trying to avoid the cost) and said that they had notified anyone important and it would just be junk that would come through (thanks for that!).

Anyway once in the house we discovered they've been out of order with several things; door off utility (presumably to move fridge), broken dishwasher, kitchen taps flooding cupboard, overloaded breakers in the fuse box, an unreasonable amount of rubbish left in the garden (I got five bin bags full at my first go over) what really sent me into a rage was broken glass and a screwdriver in the wooden playhouse!! They knew we had kids, they'd met them!

So I decided that I wouldn't do them the favour of passing on post, of which there has been a lot, (and a lot of it official looking), they've just messaged to check on post and now I'm wracked with guilt that I've put it all back in the post box marked no longer at this address!

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pasturesgreen · 14/03/2016 13:08

Well, not much point feeling guilty now you've already put the mail pack in the box.

Personally, I'd have texted them earlier on to let them know I wouldn't be passing it on, bit mean to agree and then go back on your word without warning.

Not much that can be done about it now, though.

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cestlavielife · 14/03/2016 13:11

they can still do a redirect starting now.
their choice.
tell them they can set up a redirect as you wont be forwarding and any you get you will mark not known

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ridemesideways · 14/03/2016 13:13

Ignore that text. They'll assume you've changed your number. Don't feel guilty about returning their post. You're not their PA.

As well as writing 'no longer at this address', do make sure you put 'no further mail please / remove from mailing list'.

You're lucky your solicitor didn't present them with a bill for the cost of removing the rubbish they left... If they turn up at your door "Oh we were just passing for our post" ignore it if you can see it's them. Or answer curtly - it's been returned to sender, sorry. Blame someone else in the home if you're not feeling assertive that day. Shut door.

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Ragwort · 14/03/2016 13:15

This comes up endlessly on Mumsnet, personally I can't see the hassle in just scribbling the new address on an envelope and shoving it in the post box.

Surely that is quicker and easier than agonising over whether or not to do it and writing a post about it on Mumsnet. Confused.

We still get post for our previous owner (5 yeas ago) - who happens to be a teacher at DS's school - interesting that some of the post seems to be from debt collection agencies. Grin.

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Oysterbabe · 14/03/2016 13:17

I think that's a bit petty.
You could have raised the issues with the house when you moved in. Why didn't you?

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ridemesideways · 14/03/2016 13:24

It's not the OP's fault they haven't bothered to change their address with various companies. Anyway, anything important the company will try to get hold of them via telephone or email when the returned post is received. No big deal. OP owes them nothing.

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yarnjunkie · 14/03/2016 13:30

I don't have their new address to scribble on, plus I assumed you'd have to pay postage!? Otherwise it will just end up with all the other 'not known at this address' mail. If you write not known at this address the mail does make its way back to the original posting company and it ceases, so there is a point to it, I don't want to receive their post in years to come.

I'm not one for confrontation, and I imagine they'd have their excuses lined up. If we had gone through our solicitor it would have cost us more than it did to get the stuff fixed ourselves!

I think it was the combination of the cheek that she lied about "forgetting" to do a redirect and then all the crap we found, that made me reluctant to do her the favour of holding her post for her to come and collect.

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MakeItRain · 14/03/2016 13:30

Text back - sorry, I thought you said it was only junk so I popped it back in the post.

If they push it, I would go on to mention your frustration at needing to carry out huge plumbing and electrical repairs, remove broken glass from the playroom and remove a skip's worth of rubbish from the garden and that you would rather they set up a redirection for their post than rely on you to send it on.

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yarnjunkie · 14/03/2016 13:54

They've messaged to specify which companies post I'm to keep an eye out for! They've got more front than Brighton.

Rain that sounds like a good response. We'll go with that!

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ridemesideways · 14/03/2016 14:05

Or if you're feeling spiteful, tell them that everything got thrown away by accident... Oops.

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Threesoundslikealot · 14/03/2016 14:08

It doesn't cost anything to redirect manually, but I'm not sure how you were meant to do that if you don't have their new address? Confused

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yarnjunkie · 14/03/2016 14:10

She still lives in the same village, and it's a small village (another reason for not wanting confrontation), I believe she wanted to pop over to collect if I hollered to say something official looking had arrived.

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NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 14/03/2016 14:14

Tell them you accidentally put it in the skip you had to hire to get rid of all their crap.

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Pinkheart5915 · 14/03/2016 14:17

I wouldn't feel guilty, they left your new Home in a mess.

They was just being tight by not doing a mail re direction, they could still even do it now.

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MillionToOneChances · 14/03/2016 14:24

If she knows which companies, she should contact them and change her address.

To the PP gleefully forwarding letters from debt collection agencies, have you checked your credit file to make sure it's not impacting your credit rating?! I wouldn't forward anything official looking as it might help a stranger to falsely use your address to hide their own.

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NeverGetTheBestOfMe · 14/03/2016 14:39

I recently had this, although didn't have the previous owner ask to pass on post.

We moved in like you did to find allsorts of odd things; random ariels in the roof leading through rooms which never made sense, the plumbing for the washing machine leading outside not in, inside kitchen cupboards broken/held up with breeze blocks(?)

Plus lots of other bodge up jobs where you just think WHY?

They also left the bins completely full and bags of garden waste which was annoying when we get fortnightly collections.

I was keeping there post on the side and there was a lot of it! I was going to take it in to the Estate Agents for them to pass on but then as the weeks went by and we found more and more hidden bodge ups I though fuck it, the post can go in the letter box to be sent back. Anymore will be binned.

When I moved I paid to have my mail re-directed so if they can't be arsed to then it's not my problem.

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caker · 14/03/2016 15:48

I agree that you should just return to sender, but I was incredibly grateful to my buyer for texting me to say he thought my payslips had been sent to my old address after the redirection had ended - it wasn't payslips but hospital appointments. So if anything like that turns up, do pass them on.

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yarnjunkie · 14/03/2016 15:55

Nevergetthebestofme frustrating isn't it, we've found the contents of the fish tank in the shrubs, and old garden furniture shoved in the hedges etc

The bodges are so baffling, especially as some bits of the house are stunning and really well done.

Yep we paid £70 for a 6m mail redirect and anything coming through that's junk I'm unsubscribing so that at the end of the 6m my buyers don't get anything.

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NeverGetTheBestOfMe · 14/03/2016 16:13

Caker I think if the sellers had paid to get their mail re-directed then after it ended some post came through (we all forget to change our address on some things) then it wouldn't be a problem.

But it sounds like the OP is expected to be some sort of re-direction secretary which isn't on.

Imo if you move and you don't get your mail re-directed then people should expect to lose their mail.

yarnjunkie, yes it is odd what some people do. Ours told the solicitors the boiler was "no more than 5 years old" and had been serviced but couldn't find the receipt. I had it serviced last week and the man said it's at least 12 years old and looked like it had not been serviced in 12 years!

We also found an old obsolete gas pipe which stuck out of the carpet, I assume there was a gas fire there at some point, but instead of just getting some pliers and pulling it out no problem, they made a hole in the carpet to go around it. WHY?

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