to think that DFriend is paying too much?

(13 Posts)
ciabattav0nbreadstickz Thu 10-Mar-16 21:28:35

Dfriend is Dp's best friend. He is constantly broke to the extent where he can't afford to buy food and his girlfriend has to give him meals (he is also pretty underweight so really needs the sustenance!).

He works full time but is on a low income, has his son every weekend and pays a considerable amount in petrol going to pick his son up and drop him off.

Obviously it is great that he wants to give as much to his son as possible, and I say this as a woman whos ex has paid not a penny in maintainance for his kids but aibu to think he is paying too much if he can't afford to buy food for himself?

Griphook Thu 10-Mar-16 21:31:53

Is he paying what the cm calculator suggests? Or more?

ridemesideways Thu 10-Mar-16 21:33:42

Who moved away? Could his exp meet him halfway if it's a significant distance?

TickettyBoo Thu 10-Mar-16 21:34:23

You're not Bu thinking it, but I guess he's prioritising his DS which is admirable. Maybe find ways to help him eat on a tight budget - make some cheaper meals for in the week like stews/casseroles to stretch out his funds for example.

ZanyMobster Thu 10-Mar-16 21:34:25

Hard to say really without knowing how well he budgets in general and whether he is paying the correct amount based on his earnings but no, no one should be left unable to afford to eat.

StrawberryMouse Thu 10-Mar-16 21:35:51

If he is over 25 and working full time he may be able to claim tax credits to top up his income, has he looked into it?

Arfarfanarf Thu 10-Mar-16 21:40:20

When a parent doesn't have a lot of money - that is what you have to do. Children have to come first. If he is starving then obviously he needs to look at it. If he is on a low income he should look at any benefits he might be entitled to, such as housing benefit and council tax benefit.

He should also look at his outgoings and see where he can make changes. And check to make sure he is on all the best tariffs for things.

ciabattav0nbreadstickz Thu 10-Mar-16 21:41:01

According to the calculator he should be paying about £20 a week but he pays more like £50.

He moved away but only because she kicked him out of their home so he really had no choice but to move away, he goes to her because she refuses to take [their son] anywhere to meet him. Tbh DFriend is happy to pick him up and drop him off, he absolutely adores his son and absolutely puts him above everything, including himself.

I don't think he is claiming tax credits, I don't think he knows it is an option so I will point that out to him!

UterusUterusGhali Thu 10-Mar-16 21:46:15

He sounds just like my DD's father.

Almost all his money goes on petrol & rent. He doesn't eat for days at a time. sad

Ive just said he doesn't have to pay CS. He gives DD her bus fare for the week and that's fine. I'd rather he could afford to feed DD when she goes over.

If the amount is £25pw I doubt he could get TC. That's what ex should pay and he's not entitled. He earns just over the threshold.

PennyHasNoSurname Thu 10-Mar-16 21:48:15

But why did he have to move such a distance?

ihatethecold Thu 10-Mar-16 21:51:12

What's the threshold for tax credits?
My ds is 25 and has recently split from his partner.
He is on a low income and is paying a lot of her bills and giving her £50 a week for the 2 children.
She gets full HB but he has no idea what he should be giving her.

HereIAm20 Thu 10-Mar-16 22:51:34

Here is the link to the CMA calculator which should help show what they should pay on their incomes (OP and Ihatethecold) if that helps at all.

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

ciabattav0nbreadstickz Thu 10-Mar-16 23:11:30

Penny, as I explained, he had to move as she kicked him out of the home they rent together and move in with his parents. She also started seeing someone else straight away, putting pictures on facebook of her and the other man. I appriciate this is not relevant at all in respect of maintainace, just to give an idea of circumstances!

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