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AIBU?

Does anyone have older half-siblings?

67 replies

blondieblonde · 10/03/2016 10:45

What was it like, especially if you didn't live with them/see them much.

OP posts:

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Labradorlover01 · 10/03/2016 10:57

Yes one older half brother...he lived with my grandparents up the road and I remember asking when I was about 5 if he was my cousin as he visited often but didn't live with us I figured thats what he was... after I knew it was fine but I suppose I always have seen him as more as cousin still rather than a brother...how about you?

x2boys · 10/03/2016 11:02

no but my sons do they are 9 and 6 shes 15 they have a good relationship with her they see her as when she wants to go out etc they know she is their sister .

JimmyGreavesMoustache · 10/03/2016 11:04

yes - two half sisters 14 and 11 years older

one moved out when I was pretty small - can't ever remember sharing a home with her
am probably closer to the other one, as she returned to live at home for a few spells when I was growing up.

that being said, I'm not that close to either. I have no full siblings, and both my parents died when I was 20 (whereas they had their Dad and step-mum until they were both in their fifties), and so I think I was the one who felt the need to stay in touch to maintain some sense of family.

For some reason I'm less bothered about this as I get older though.

eitak22 · 10/03/2016 11:18

Yep.. 2 significantly older (30+ years). I see them more as Aunties and considered myself an only child growing up. I'm not hugely close to them but do get on with them for the most part. It's very weird being younger than your nieces and nephews though.

Flingingmelon · 10/03/2016 11:22

Three half siblings.

We had a little bit of contact when we were tiny but that stopped. Why is lost in the mists of time.

I ended up at the same uni as DHB (darling half brother?) and we temporarily reunited. It didn't last after he left.

Now we only see them at funerals. It's pleasant, but after the last of that generation goes I suspect we will not speak again.

I tried, I invited them all to various family events. It takes two though and we have enough family on DH's side to keep us busy.

BeetlebumShesAGun · 10/03/2016 11:38

I don't but I am one.

My half sister was born when I was 15, and half brother when I was 17.

It was ok growing up but I barely see them as my dad and their mum split up and she prevented him from seeing them/having them whenever she felt like it.

I'm 27 now and see them occasionally when Dad is allowed to have them, but they are at that awkward age. I don't really see us ever becoming close to be honest which makes me sad.

PrettyDaffodils · 10/03/2016 11:46

I have an older half brother and we were very close growing up. He never saw his "real" dad so he was never toing and froing between 2 different houses.
He now lives far away because of his job, so as adults we have kind of drifting apart a bit. Nothing to do with being a half sibling though. (I've never called him my half sibling but in technical terms that's what he is).

PrettyDaffodils · 10/03/2016 11:47

*drifted

lessthanBeau · 10/03/2016 11:54

My DD has two older half sibs, however all are mine , DD from 2nd marriage, so we don't call them halves, they don't see their dad so we're all one family from the same house iykwim, DD is like an only child but totally understands that she has a brother and sister who are grown ups and have moved out. When they're all home together its just like any other family, chaos!

spankhurst · 10/03/2016 11:57

I have an older half DB by seven years.

It was hard at times but much harder for him I think. His dad died and I don't think he got much support. He naturally resented me and younger DB, who were also academic while he wasn't.

He is a lovely man and we get on fine now.

spankhurst · 10/03/2016 11:58

Incidentally, I teach a 14 year old who has a half siblings in their fifties!

Trickydecision · 10/03/2016 11:59

Our DGCs, 10 and 11, have a half brother of 23 who has his own flat a few streets away so they see him quite frequently. They adore him and he absolutely dotes on them. We are very lucky.

carabos · 10/03/2016 12:02

No, but I am one. I'm 18 years older than the elder of my 2 half-siblings and 22 years older than the other. I have a friendly relationship rather than a sisterly relationship with them iyswim. I have never lived with either of them aside for a few months with the elder one and I have lived in another part of the country for their whole lives.

MitzyLeFrouf · 10/03/2016 12:02

Julio Iglesias (72) has a half sister who is 10 years old!

JanetOfTheApes · 10/03/2016 12:11

Why are you asking, and why in aibu? Are you story fishing?

blondieblonde · 10/03/2016 16:17

Because my children have older half siblings and I am worried that it will be stressful for them. Did any of you find it stressful?

OP posts:

Kitsandkids · 10/03/2016 18:10

I loved it. Mine are 15 and 13 years older than me. They lived quite far away from me when I was little but I looked forward to their visits. That said, I was always quite shy around them and often barely spoke to them when I was with them. I do have some very fond memories of them - sitting on my brother's knee the first time I went down a water slide at the swimming pool for example.

I became an aunt aged 11 and absolutely adored having little nieces and nephews. They gave me an excuse to enjoy 'kid things' when I was a teenager!

I elected to move nearer to my half siblings when I was in my early twenties and am now much closer to them - probably more so than to my only full sibling.

LettingAgentNightmare · 10/03/2016 18:15

Stressful? Why would it be stressful? I'm the older half sibling and I don't think my mere existence has caused my siblings any stress.

I existed before my Dad and Step Mum decided to have more children, so if anyone has caused any stress I don't think it's an existing older child.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 10/03/2016 18:19

I am very close to my half sister who is 12 years older than me. (I never say, of think 'half' though tbh) We lived together until she moved out, she moved in and out often so she was a constant presence. We have had our issues, which I think have been brought about by the age gap in some ways but we are still very close.

On the other hand, my DH has a half sister 25 years younger than him, he has very little to do with her and doesn't really see her as his sister... but I think that's partly because he isn't close to his mom, and partly because our own children started arriving when she was 1 and his head was in 'father zone' rather than 'brother zone' - can't think how else to put that!

Nepotism · 10/03/2016 18:21

It doesn't have to be stressful. I've never thought of my two (much older) half sisters as anything but my sisters. We had a difficult upbringing entirely down to MY mother's behaviour but they didn't blame me. My DDs have a half brother 15 years older and they adore each other.

icanteven · 10/03/2016 18:49

My DH has three half-siblings, 15 - 20 years older than him. They live very far away, always have, and I don't think they really think of him as their brother, although when he was younger he wished they did. He's their father's son by a woman they know or care very little about, and that's about it (DH's parents have been happily married for 35 years, incidentally).

They came to our wedding, which was odd.

Heatherplant · 10/03/2016 19:03

Had a couple of much older half siblings (they were married with their own children by the time we were born). The situation was badly managed by the parent that we all share, that parent didn't really acknowledge we were siblings and tried to pass the older ones off as 'auntie/uncle' which obviously lead to a lot of resentment. I'm now NC with the half siblings and the rest of the family to be honest, as you can guess the situation is pretty bloody toxic. Made the decision never to get involved with anyone who already had children off the back of it.

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DrCoconut · 10/03/2016 19:09

I am an older half sibling if it is any help. I was almost 15 when my brother was born. I left home at 18 to go to uni and apart from a few months after splitting from ex DP I have never lived with him since. He lives away himself now but we keep in touch with each other and visit etc.

BarbarianMum · 10/03/2016 19:10

My half sister is 12 years older than me. When I was little she would come for the weekend once or twice a month. I worshipped the ground she walked on.

These days I don't worship her but we have a pretty good relationship. Meet a few times a year, chat on the phone. We are quite similar which helps.

BarbarianMum · 10/03/2016 19:13

Oh and my slightly younger full brother has caused me yea more stress and heartbreak than my sister ever has.

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