DD is 11 and is in year 6 at school.
I am biased but she is a lovely girl; very friendly, open and upbeat, and has always been really popular at school and had lots of party invitations and got invited to lots of other childrens' houses to play.
She has had the same group of friends pretty much through school since reception. There are 6 of them in the friendship group and there have never really been any problems other than the very occasional temporary spat. They've all always been lovely girls and they've all always got on really well. Teachers have always commented on what a nice, strong group of friends they are.
At the beginning of this year a different girl, who has also been in their year since reception, started hanging around with them all. I'll call her Chloe. DD had always got on well with this girl and liked her, but since September Chloe has really become a queen bee of this group (something that the group didn't particularly seem to have before), and has really taken a dislike to DD and has become nastier and nastier to her. Over the months the others, who all think Chloe is amazing, have jumped on the bandwagon too and are nasty and snidey to DD a lot. They are very protective about Chloe and will do whatever she says, and if DD ever sticks up for herself they jump in to defend Chloe and are even nastier to DD.
It is just constant things; taking DD's lunch and hiding it on a regular basis, calling her names, doing things to her and then saying it's her being horrible, sending her horrible texts, little physical things like pulling her hair, etc. I have spoken to DD's teacher about it, who is lovely about it and has offered to speak to the girls but DD doesn't want her to as she thinks it will make it worse. The girls also all go to an activity one night per week and they have started doing it to her there too, last week they all kept spraying her with something they were using to do a cookery activity and she came home covered in food. It's an activity run by volunteers so I can't exactly go in there and speak to the leaders about it unfortunately. Also most of these are going to a different secondary school to DD, so they use this as a stick to beat DD with and call her names about the school she is going to and say that the school is rubbish.
DD has started to hang around with others girls at school, and has 'friends' to spend time with, but I can tell that she is just so sad about how these girls, her longterm friends, have behaved and are still behaving. She was upset last night and I have again offered to speak to the teacher but she doesn't want me to as she thinks it will make things worse and her last few months at the school will be more unpleasant, which I understand but at the same time I want the school to stop the behaviour!
I am friendly with the mums of these girls but haven't mentioned it to any of them, as I don't think it would be a good idea and would cause extra drama and increase the problem.
I just feel so sad for DD, and so upset. She's always loved school and felt a real sense of belonging and had good friends and now it's just awful for her :(
What do I do?
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AIBU?
To be so upset for DD that her friends are being so awful to her?
78 replies
JumblyWumbly · 08/03/2016 10:00
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