To not want DD to go away without family this summer?

(4 Posts)
findulusconterus Mon 07-Mar-16 22:03:44

DD2 is 18 and has been suffering from depression. Self harm, a suicide attempt and a hospital stay in the last year. It has been an extreme emotional rollercoaster.

She lives alone but lives five minutes away and either me, DH or DD1 visit her everyday. This has only been the case for six weeks. We own the property she is living in and it's on a trial basis.

Her plan this summer was to go travelling in the USA with her DD1 (who is 21). She has now changed her mind and has said she wants to go to go abroad with friends for a month. We have said no.

We were OK with the USA trip- her sister is very sensible and will look after her and ensure she comes to no harm. Her friends are incredibly immature and at DDs own admission don't understand her illness at all- they cut her off for about 8 months when she dropped out of college last year.

She got some money off her grandparents for her 18th birthday and this is how she wants to spend it. She isn't asking for a financial contribution at all and is using the "I am an adult and I can do as I please line".

She is of course correct- but AIBU in not wanting her to go?

SaucyJack Mon 07-Mar-16 22:07:06

Well, YANBU to be concerned obv.

Is there a likelihood this trip could be a positive turning stone for her? Stranger things have happened.

And yes, she's an adult who doesn't need your permission anyway yadda yadda.

CaptainCrunch Mon 07-Mar-16 22:30:20

I completely understand your concern but if she really wants to go and it's self funded, you can't stop her.

Hopefully it will be a positive experience.

cariadlet Mon 07-Mar-16 23:12:14

Unfortunately (as you know) she's right: she's an adult and can do as she pleases. But YNBU to wish that she wasn't going with her friends and had stuck to her first plan instead.

I hope it all works out ok - for you and for her.

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