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1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15

AIBU?

to consider lending this money?

374 replies

metalmickie · 07/03/2016 21:05

My partner and I have been together for over 2 years. We don't yet live together. He's planning to buy a house shortly.

I own my own home, am fairly comfortably off, I earn an ok amount but I am lucky to have a fair bit in savings (£33k). My partner has a much better job (although he only started it in the New Year) and some savings, about £10k, but also £8k owed on credit cards etc. To buy a house, he could use his savings, however the mortgage providers have said that they'd take his existing 'debt' into account - and in doing so it would mean he'd only be able to borrow about £40k less (and therefore couldn't afford a property big enough for him and his DC).

So, we talked about it, and if I lend him £20-25k, he will be able to use this as a deposit (having used his own savings to clear the credit cards). His current credit cards have a total limit of £45k, so he would have no problem borrowing back the money thereafter to reimburse me, as soon as the house purchase was completed. His mortgage repayments even if he borrows the maximum he can, will be £200 less than his rent now, so he has no concerns about affording it.

WWYD if you were me?

OP posts:

Report

FullMoonDiva · 07/03/2016 21:09

I'd keep tight hold of my money

londonrach · 07/03/2016 21:11

Be careful. Never lend money unless you can afford to lose it and your friendship/relationship

228agreenend · 07/03/2016 21:11

Only lend it if you can afford to loose it. Theres been too many stories on mumsnet about people who have lent £50' £500 £1000s and never getting it back. There's nothing stopping him taking your money, and then splitting up with you, or not paying it back.

You've been together two years now. That's quite a long time. What are your plans for,your future together?

Bitchrestingface · 07/03/2016 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 07/03/2016 21:12

DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THIS! Mixing loaning money and relationships is a recipe for disaster. Think about WHY the bank is refusing to lend him more cash. Don't put yourself and your security at risk, you'd be mad to do it.

leelu66 · 07/03/2016 21:12

You need to protect yourself and your money. Can you own a # of the house?

Please note that if the relationship goes sour, you could be left high and dry.

SelfRaisingFlour · 07/03/2016 21:14

I wouldn't do it and I certainly wouldn't do it without getting legal documents drawn up or a charge on the house.

He obviously can't afford to buy a house yet. He needs to pay off his debt and save some more. You're not a bank. You may need those savings one day for yourself.

icelollycraving · 07/03/2016 21:14

No!! If he was a good prospect for a £25k loan,he would have got one. No way.

SnowBallsAreHere · 07/03/2016 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PegsPigs · 07/03/2016 21:15

Do not give him the money. It's his issue to sort out. The fact he has £8k of credit card debt suggests he is not a good bet.

My DH needed to buy a new car before our DD was born because previously he only had a 2 seater. But convertibles sell for more money in the spring/summer and she was born in February. I leant him £6k to buy a new car knowing if it went wrong he could sell his old car pronto and give me the money back. I was still nervous till the money was back in my account and it was only for 3 months and we'd been together 8 years and married for 4 which is quite a bit longer than you.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/03/2016 21:15

No I would not do this. He will have to buy something smaller if he cannot afford the house he wants!!

And his plan is to put 25k on a credit card to pay you back? What a twit!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 07/03/2016 21:15

He's going to pay off his debts with his savings, use your money to buy a house (after fudging or outright lying on the bank's affordability checks) then take money out on his credit cards to pay you back, thus having a large credit card debt and a mortgage to service?

Even if your relationship is rock solid, this is not the plan of a financially sensible adult...

bloodyteenagers · 07/03/2016 21:15

£8k on credits cards? He's a fool. Don't be a bigger fool. You know what they Say, fools and their money....
He will have to be a grown up and sort out his own finances.
He earns more than you so shouldn't have any problems clearing debts and saving. He will just have to wait a bit longer

lalalalyra · 07/03/2016 21:16

If the mortgage providers take debt into account surely they'd take the the amount he owed you into account? Otherwise sure you'll have to tell them you are gifting him the amount in which case you'll have zero back up if things go wrong (not just splitting up, but what if he gets made redundant, the company he works for goes bust, he gets diagnosed with an illness not compatible with his job or he dies unexpectedly)?

pollyblack · 07/03/2016 21:17

Don't do it. I feel sick thinking about the amount of my money I have used unwisely.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/03/2016 21:17

if he was good with money he wouldnt have £8k of credit card debt. This is most of your savings, it's too much money and too high risk. Any man worth his salt wouldn't even consider accepting it.

228agreenend · 07/03/2016 21:18

Sorry, missed that. He wants to put £40000 on credit cards! Crazy idea!

He needs to pay of his credit cards ( hoe did he get such a big debt) before buying a house.

metalmickie · 07/03/2016 21:19

We plan to live together in the future, but probably not for 3-5 years, until his DC are older (as he has to live near them whilst they're at primary school to do school pick up/drop off on his contact days).

I think it would be a pretty longtail scam to be in a relationship with me for this long just to get money off me!

We were thinking of drawing up an agreement for him to repay the money within X no of days. House prices are going up every month in his area so it should be a safe investment.

OP posts:

OneEpisode · 07/03/2016 21:19

ok.
the mortgage providers have said that they'd take his existing 'debt' into account
Providers- so plural, he's tried a few?
"Debt" - so not really a debt, just "debt".
Would he think your savings were just a "debt" to you?

Flossieflower01 · 07/03/2016 21:20

Don't do it!

AdrenalineFudge · 07/03/2016 21:21

Don't do it. No way would I part with that sort of money for a bloke I've only been seeing 2 years and had some hair-brained idea to repay me.

Creampastry · 07/03/2016 21:21

No way. Are you mad?

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bloodyteenagers · 07/03/2016 21:21

And unless I am missing something you cannot just go from £8 to 40k on your card.
Credit checks are still carried out as they still want their cash back. A mortgage will show up.

caroldecker · 07/03/2016 21:21

If you have a legal agreement as a loan, the mortgage company will not see this as a deposit, just juggling debts. To be able to use it as a deposit, it needs to be a gift.

tippytap · 07/03/2016 21:23

Don't do it!

Doesn't matter what your plans are for the future, I agree with pp. He's not financially responsible. You may as well kiss goodbye to your savings.

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