To think Dh is responsible for buying this?

(59 Posts)
Cloudybutwarm Mon 07-Mar-16 20:59:22

Ok it's slightly irrelevant as I'm a sahm so all our money comes from one source, it's more about the principal of the matter!

Dh snores. I mean snores like a train. Most nights. He is also a very heavy sleeper. I've survived it over the years but it has meant a lot of restless nights for me, which was manageable until we had children, and as the lucky person who deals with all the night wakings I really resent any further disturbance to my sleep!

A few months ago i heard about a mouldable mouth guard thing that had good reviews for helping stop snoring. I sent the info to Dh, he ordered one, and IT WORKED! Not 100% but the improvement was massive.

Now, the thing is they cost about £60 and over time they stretch and stop working and you need to get a new one... As is happening with dhs now - he's started snoring again even with it in. I said to him he needed to order a new one, and he said he thought I should pay for it! This is on the basis that his snoring is a problem for me and not a problem for him hmm I feel that he's the one who does it, therefore it's down to him.

What do you think?!

whenwegettonarnia Mon 07-Mar-16 21:01:17

I don't understand why you're arguing when all your money comes from the same source?

whenwegettonarnia Mon 07-Mar-16 21:01:43

Do you each have an allowance? Can't you go halves?

Bearbehind Mon 07-Mar-16 21:01:46

Given the first sentance- why is anything else even relevant hmm

BitchSlapBingBunny Mon 07-Mar-16 21:01:54

Are you arguing about who actually orders the item?

ToadsforJustice Mon 07-Mar-16 21:02:10

As it is family money, I would order one. I would also take a long look at my relationship. What do you get out of it?

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 07-Mar-16 21:03:43

You'd sleep a lot better with him in a different house.

Meow75 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:04:12

No, the snoring is not just your problem. Tell him to investigate sleep apnoea. Heavy and nightly snoring is a pretty good indicator, so it's actually in his interests - of not dying - to prevent snoring as much as possible.

I have sleep apnoea, and the difference being treated has made to my life is massive. Snore sleep isn't good sleep.

BlueMoonRising Mon 07-Mar-16 21:05:20

When you say the money comes from the same source, would it be paid for via a joint account?

If so, what's the problem? It obviously doesn't bother him and it bothers you, so just get on and order it.

If it is your share of the money - that's slightly different.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Mon 07-Mar-16 21:06:18

£60 every few months is a lot of money! Earplugs are cheaper!
Anyway just buy it and give it to him. If later on he says "Oh you can't afford to do xyz because of that mouth guard you bought me" then he's a twat.

leelu66 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:07:21

If he's expecting you to pay for it with child benefit or something then YANBU.

If you are going to pay for it out of his earnings, then YABU.

It doesn't matter who buys it, be glad he's happy to wear it.

silvermantela Mon 07-Mar-16 21:07:36

presumably if you kicked him awake every time his snoring woke you up it soon would become as much as a problem for him as it is for you??

PegsPigs Mon 07-Mar-16 21:10:00

Yes kick him awake every time and each time ask him if his snoring is his problem or yours!

And show him about sleep apnoea.

And just buy the sodding thing out of joint funds smile

Cloudybutwarm Mon 07-Mar-16 21:10:19

It's not really about the money, hence the first sentence. We are not short of money. It's the principal - is his snoring my problem or his problem?

LittleRedSparke Mon 07-Mar-16 21:11:38

Just kick him every time, it'll soon be a family problem

ouryve Mon 07-Mar-16 21:14:56

If he's snoring, he surely can't be sleeping well, himself?

It's his problem and he's being a dickhead if he doesn't care how it affects you. Tell him he either takes responsibility for fixing it or buggers off to the sofa for the night.

If he does neither of those things, give him a shake and tell him he's snoring again, every single time he wakes you up with it.

BitchSlapBingBunny Mon 07-Mar-16 21:15:27

Just asked dp (also a snorer) whose problem the snoring is - he said it's your dh. He snores, and shouldn't be so stubborn about solving the problem.

<gavel>

travailtotravel Mon 07-Mar-16 21:15:39

He needs to recognise the impact his snoring and selfishness in sorting it out (or not) has on you.

I have this with DH.

A discussion about how unattractive it was, as well as a recording of him snoring (I can't have been I was awake literally all night ... oh yea, wanna bet).

In a less grown up way of hastening the issue to a conclusion, no new mouth guard, no nookie!

Judydreamsofhorses Mon 07-Mar-16 21:20:57

My partner is a massive snorer - he's been checked over by the doctor and while he could probably do with losing half a stone, there is nothing wrong with him. I wear earplugs, and he uses a nasal spray the GP recommended, plus a sort of clip thing that is supposed to open up his nostrils. None of these are a magic bullet. He pays for all of these things, and also goes to the spare room if there have been a couple of bad nights so I can get a decent sleep. Snoring - and not being able to sleep - is v v annoying and you have my sympathies, OP. (On occasion I have fantasised about stabbing him in the night.)

Bluetrews25 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:21:11

So when your kids are noisy teens who want to game online noisily all night, will it be up to the kids to shut up, or him to use earplugs?

leelu66 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:21:48

if he's asking you to pay for it, give him £60 from the joint account and tell him to go buy the thing.

rookiemere Mon 07-Mar-16 21:22:56

It does seem like an expensive solution.

But like others I'm confused by what you mean when he says you should pay for it when your resources are pooled.

DH snores a bit more after drinking and I find the Boots wax muffles earplugs are quite effective.

msrisotto Mon 07-Mar-16 21:23:18

You need to take up something equally as offensive, then tell him it's his problem not yours because it doesn't bother you.

camtt Mon 07-Mar-16 21:25:06

is his snoring my problem or his problem?
his problem, in the sense that he is doing the snoring and he can take himself off to get some medical advice to try to stop it/or buy the mouth guard. Obviously it's a problem for you, but not one you can do much about.

Perhaps you could investigate some way to create noxious farts, then tell him you're not bothered by them so it's his problem?

Maryz Mon 07-Mar-16 21:26:35

I don't suppose he's even thought that his snoring is a symptom of his bad sleeping, and over time will cause (or be the symptom of) various problems.

He should be grateful to you for diagnosing his problem, pointing out his symptoms and making him treat himself.

Therefore, not only should he pay for the device (what's it called by the way?), but he should be buying you a large present for looking out for him.

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