To cancel my birthday next week?

[2ndSopranosRule]

It's my birthday next week.

Today my dds have done nothing but argue with each other, said some horrible things to me, made a fuss about going out for a treat. I was pulled out of bed at 8.15 as I'd had long enough apparently.

I'm doing the couch to 5k plan and have just run for 20 minutes. That's a massive achievement for me. I've come back to a dh who is really grumpy and dd2 all teary because dd1 won't play with her (to be fair, dd1 has a music exam soon and voluntarily practiced).

There's noone to babysit so a meal out just dh and I is out of the question so I thought it'd be nice to go somewhere for lunch. Dh said it's up to me so I made some suggestions. He doesn't like the idea of any of them, the dc heard so naturally they don't like the idea of them either.

I can't face the thought of yet another weekend where the dc are at each other's throats and any outing we attempt is ruined by the dc moaning continuously as is always the case. Especially on my birthday.

Aibu to feck off to a shopping centre on my birthday next week, eat whatever I want wherever I want and buy pretty things and not return until the dc are in bed?

[VegasIsBest]

Sounds like a very good idea 😄
There are times when having kids is hard - having some peace is good for you. Have you got a friend you could go to lunch with instead?

[Katenka]

Can you go out with someone else?

Cancelling your birthday isn't really the solution.

[2ndSopranosRule]

Noone's about. Then I'd get dh all mardy because he has to deal with the dc not getting along.

[RubbleBubble00]

sounds like a good birthday day to me. Blissful time alone, potter about, niece coffee in posh coffee shop in peace, quiet lunch in a non child friendly place with a good book. leave dd and Dh to it

[Caken]

Are you me? This all sounds far too familiar - I've been told (read: shouted at the top of her lungs several times to the bemusement of passers by) I'm the 'worst mother EVER' by my 8 year old today for not letting her push past her 3 year old sister on steep uneven castle steps


To be honest your plan sounds good to me! Do something that you'll enjoy - if they don't like the idea or will whinge the whole time then don't take them. Or like pp said, maybe see if a friend is up for doing something.

[Caken]

Sorry for x-post

[milkbottle]

I say do it! You'd be surprised at how much more enjoyable going out alone is than you would expect.

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

Do it

And well done for the couch to 5k run, that definitely is a big achievement!

[Katenka]

Noone's about. Then I'd get dh all mardy because he has to deal with the dc not getting along.

take a book and go alone.

Who cares if evhas to deal with them not getting along. He is their parent too.

Do you never have the kids alone?

[ReggaeShark]

I well remember a stage when we just didn't go out to eat with the children as they ruined it every time. This will pass, OP, but in the meantime enjoy a stress free day on your own.

[fuzzpig]

Yes you should do it.

If they get upset that you've gone out on your own, well they've brought it on themselves haven't they

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

I've been out alone today - well with the dig to a dog friendly cafe - couldn't bear the fighting over who's not pulling their weight!!

Lovely tea and cake -


Got home and cleaned round the garden to escape more bickering - roll on bedtime

[Noregretsatall]

YANBU at all! Do it! You'll feel so much better. It's my birthday next week too and I've organised to go to London for the day ON MY OWN, look round the book shops, attend a contemporary music workshop at LSO and then meet DH for tapas in the evening - can't wait! In fairness, my children are older but I feel for you as I have spent so many birthdays in the past, pleasing other members of the family or doing nothing to avoid moans and arguments. A very happy birthday to you!

[AKissACuddleAndACheekyFinger]

Do it!!!! and take me with you

[Stargazing25]

I think that's a great idea!

Similar thing here today - for so called Mother's Day.

Got up, sorted kids, dogs, cleaning, refereeing arguments, stood on a freezing cold football pitch. Husband having a lie in, playing on tablet, blah blah blah. Now he's f**d off out for the evening and I'm trying to mark a set of year 11 test papers and trying to get (still) arguing kids into bed.

Given up to look on here for moral support!

Might adopt your plan when my birthday comes round!! I hope you have a lovely peaceful day xx

[happyhearts7]

Happy Birthday 2ndSopranosRule and Noregretsatall my birthday's on Friday & I'll happily spend the day alone doing paperwork. Then after school and work DH & DSs will be home to spend the evening together. We won't be going out for a meal as I've been still am really ill and can't leave the house for any period of time!
Just do whatever makes you happy, be it time on your own or whatever.. it sounds as though you deserve it

[BlueJug]

I have a birthday next week too and have finally replied to all the "What do you want to do for your birthday?" questions with BE ON MY OWN!!

Kids are teens and DS is v difficult so it will be bliss, (for as long as I can escape for)

[Noregretsatall]

Happy birthday Happyhearts! My birthday is also Friday! I hope you manage to enjoy it despite being unwell. I hope you feel better very soon.

[Noregretsatall]

And happy birthday Bluejug as well!

[expatinscotland]

Do it! Sounds fab. Go to IKEA. Go see a film. Sit in a cafe and order a toastie and cake. Browse magazines. Alone. Bliss.

[2ndSopranosRule]

Happy birthday to all those who will be celebrating this week!

I must say I'm taken with the idea of a solitary Ikea visit. I could even buy tons of cushions.

[happyhearts7]

Thank you Noregretsatall I'm sure I will..
DH was to be away from Fri-Sun with Scouts but he's not going now till Sat morning so will have a mixture of family time and hubby time and me time and thanks for the get well wishes too..