To demand my money back, complain or something?

(155 Posts)
Leta86 Sun 06-Mar-16 16:48:37

So, I'm blessed with an amazing MIL, who had a really tough winter with PIL being poorly, in and out of the hospital, even touch and go at one moment. To treat her, DP and I decided to take her to this venue for Mother's day, really excellent ratings, but also $$$. We saved for a bit, skipped a visit to my parents (another country) and finally managed it. The look on her face when we told her made it all worthwile in itself, cos she wanted to go there for years, she even got her hair done for it yesterday!
Anyway, we trooped in at the set time and even got the window table, MIL was on cloud number 9. The entrees were a bliss, but the another family got sat next to us.
The man, who was the presumed head of the family was an extremely loud, rude, obnoxious and rude, to the point of telling everyone where to sit, what to order and making himself a nightmare to the staff. On the end of the table was this frail little granny, obviously near 100, very scared and dementef. I'm quite certain she had absolutely no idea where she was, kept whimpering and appeared scared witless whenever the waitress adressed her. I don't think her son/grandson or whatever saw her more than once or twice per year as his wife kept hissing at him that she doesn't remembef this or has had done that. That was alll still bearable, until the gran (I don't blame her) got her food and this ended all over and around her face, clothes and wheelchair... at which point the man started actually berating her like a toddler... we were absolutelly shocked! And on top of that, just before we got our main course, the gran made a very full use of what I hope was her diaper. The stench was unbeliveable!!! We took one look at eacb other, got up and left, eve if everything was pre-paid. Ended up having toasties in local costa. I was absolutely fuming and so so sorry for my MIL, who had dissapointment written all over her face! I am still raging while I'm writing this!!!

honeysucklejasmine Sun 06-Mar-16 16:52:25

Did you complain to the staff? Not that it's their fault, but in a "can we sit somewhere else?" sort of way. If you just paid and left I can't imagine there's much they can do now.

WorraLiberty Sun 06-Mar-16 16:52:46

It sounds awful but what did you expect the staff to do?

Were they aware of the smell?

Yohoodlum Sun 06-Mar-16 16:53:24

Oh dear.

What did you say when you left?

I'd phone and speak to them. It wasn't their fault but they might do something for you as a goodwill gesture.

Toooldtobearsed Sun 06-Mar-16 16:56:33

I feel sorry for you, but much ore so for the old lady who will no doubt be suffering now because of her lack of bowel control, if her son/sil is as bad as you say.
Did you not think to ask to be seated elsewhere? I do understand your disappointment, but unless you tell the staff, they ain't gonna know!

LIZS Sun 06-Mar-16 16:56:50

What a shame for your mil. Did you ask to be moved at the time and say why you were leaving ? It sounds as if your issue was with other customers rather than the restaurant, circumstances beyond their control, and tbh you seem more focused on what was happening on that table than on ensuring your mil enjoyed her day.

ImperialBlether Sun 06-Mar-16 16:58:24

I don't understand - I've never been to a restaurant where you pre-pay. How is that possible when you don't know what you're going to have?

SauvignonBlanche Sun 06-Mar-16 16:59:33

Complain about what? The obnoxious customer or the customer with dementia being incontinent of faeces?

I'm not sure what the restaurant could do about either unless you asked to be moved at the time.

RubyRoseViolet Sun 06-Mar-16 17:01:32

Oh god, that sounds terrible. For you all and for that poor lady. I think you ought to contact the restaurant and seek some recompense. Ok, it's not exactly their fault but people clearly pay a lot of money to go there, it's just not on to have to actually walk out because other guests are making the experience unbearable.

shutupandshop Sun 06-Mar-16 17:02:22

You should have asked to move.

hiddenhome2 Sun 06-Mar-16 17:03:06

The public do random things in public places and there's nothing you can do about it. The only way you can control your environment is by staying at home and eating.

The staff aren't responsible for the loud mans behaviour or the pooping granny confused

Mothers Day is a bear garden at the best of times. Surely you'd have been aware of this?

YoungGirlGrowingOld Sun 06-Mar-16 17:03:35

Unfortunately I think you should have asked to be moved or said something at the time. I can totally understand your frustration though - what a horrible situation for everybody.

I have only once complained successfully after the event at a very non-posh place. I was seated next to a man with no shirt and lots of nipple piercings and piercings on his face. Each to their own, but piercings make me come over s bit giddy. I am also an oldie so prefer men to wear shirts! The manager refused to move us when I asked (politely, out of earshot) but I did get some vouchers and an apology from head office.

RubyRoseViolet Sun 06-Mar-16 17:04:57

What did you say when you left? Was it not fairly obvious why you were leaving?

GahBuggerit Sun 06-Mar-16 17:05:25

what did they say when you asked to be moved?

Leta86 Sun 06-Mar-16 17:05:42

It didn't matter where you sat, people were leaving from all over the place because you couldn't escape it even across the room.Some guests tried to say something to the staff, but they had their hands full with the son shouting and well... the mess...
Imperial blether, it was a Mothers day package gift thing.
LIZS, noone near that table managed to focus on anything, the man in question managed to sort THAT out.

Sallyingforth Sun 06-Mar-16 17:05:47

Certainly it wasn't the restaurant's fault.

milkbottle Sun 06-Mar-16 17:07:45

Why did you just ask to move tables?

milkbottle Sun 06-Mar-16 17:08:16

Didn't, sorry

WoodleyPixie Sun 06-Mar-16 17:08:25

Pre payment for a set Mother's Day meal?

I'd have asked to be moved while still there. Now you've left I don't think you can reasonably expect them to refund you. You hadn't given them the chance to rectify the issues.

That poor woman having to go out wearing a nappy though and being treated like a toddler as well. How humiliating for her.

clam Sun 06-Mar-16 17:08:36

That poor, poor lady. sad

hiddenhome2 Sun 06-Mar-16 17:08:57

You need to take responsibility for your decisions though. It wasn't the restaurant's fault. They were doing their bit by cooking the food and organising guests. What did you want them to do?

People are very loud and rude these days and do inappropriate things in the public domain. There's nothing you can do.

phequer Sun 06-Mar-16 17:10:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyRoseViolet Sun 06-Mar-16 17:11:40

Sorry but they ought to have spoken to the man in question and controlled the situation. It's not ok just to say "it's not their fault". I've been in the cinema when people were being disruptive, staff stepped in and sorted it out, similarly in pubs and restaurants.

GahBuggerit Sun 06-Mar-16 17:12:05

so....people tried to talk to the staff, but every single staff member was attending to The Loud Family?

GabiSolis Sun 06-Mar-16 17:12:29

I'm really not sure what you expected the restaurant to do, because it must be something if you're thinking of complaining or asking for your money back.

I feel really really sad for that poor lady with that awful family member.

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