to think it is hard to work at home whilst in sole charge of a toddler?

(71 Posts)
bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 05-Mar-16 15:37:12

A friend of mine with a two year old is taking on a job where she will work from home (for someone else) during normal office hours, but her son isn't going to nursery or to have any other childcare. She reckons she can do 4 or 5 hours a day like this. I know there are nap times - although he may grow out of them soon - but is she being unrealistic? I haven't said anything. She is a lovely woman and has another son in Reception, I'm surprised she seems to have forgotten how you can't expect a toddler to sit quietly at home for 3 hours a day. Or maybe iabu?

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt Sat 05-Mar-16 15:39:05

My ds is 3.5 and there's no way I could do this.

Couldn't have done when he was younger either. He's just too energetic, into everything etc.

BarbaraofSeville Sat 05-Mar-16 15:44:26

My company's homeworking policy specifically excludes homeworking while caring for dependents so she may find that she's not allowed to anyway. Sooner or later her boss is going to phone her while her DS is shouting 'mummy mummy I need a poo' in the background.

bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 05-Mar-16 15:47:21

smile. Yes, I guess it's different if you work for yourself. But I think its not really fair on the child either.

Frazzled2207 Sat 05-Mar-16 15:48:32

Ha ha ha. Mine is 2.5 and no way. I would be able to intermittently check my email and maybe answer the phone a few times but nothing like 4-5 hours' work.
That said if toddler is happy to watch tv all day maybe.
And she could probably get a bit done after he goes to bed.

whifflesqueak Sat 05-Mar-16 15:50:36

near impossible, I'd say.

Mrscog Sat 05-Mar-16 15:51:59

Completely unrealistic and as a manager I would say absolutely no way to this! DS is 4 today, and I could just about do 30 mins here and there through a day now if I had to, DS2 is 10 months and I could work through his naptime, but nothing else.

bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 05-Mar-16 15:53:27

She can't do it after he goes to bed frazzled, it's got to be 9 to 5. Do you think I should say something?

slebmum1 Sat 05-Mar-16 16:11:47

I have tried when DTs have been sick and it is just not possible.

dietcokeandwine Sat 05-Mar-16 16:14:49

Not possible and for a lot of companies wouldn't be allowed anyway.

Many will have strict home working policies stating that staff must have paid childcare for any dependent children whilst they work from home.

If no such policy exists I suspect she will find it pretty much impossible. She will be hugely stressed and it won't be fair on her toddler either.

GreenTomatoJam Sat 05-Mar-16 16:15:28

With DS1 it was impossible at that age (although I achieved quite some feats when he was still a sleepy baby).

With DS2 I'm actually managing quite well, although it's stressful, not fair on him and the sooner I can get him into childcare the better (he was in childcare, but we've moved and are looking again).

I think that she'll try it for a couple of weeks, then discover that it's not going to work and find a childminder asap.

katienana Sat 05-Mar-16 16:18:07

No not hard at all. Just impossible!

OublietteBravo Sat 05-Mar-16 16:20:06

My company wouldn't allow this. You can't work from home and look after a child. They are very rigid on this. One of my colleagues recently got a warning because he was working from home whilst his 13 year old DS was off school sick.

Marynary Sat 05-Mar-16 16:20:17

I worked at home one day a week when dd was a toddler and there is no ways I would have attempted to look after her at the same time. Your friend will either neglect the toddler or her job.

mangocoveredlamb Sat 05-Mar-16 16:23:37

A friend of mine WFH a couple of days a week and has a mothers help in, it's much cheaper that way as the lady isn't sole charge, but my friend would not be able to work otherwise!
I couldn't with my 2 year old, she's a terror!

Pointlessfan Sat 05-Mar-16 16:25:59

No way. I find it hard to even make a bit of lunch with my toddler around, she'd be climbing/eating cat food/causing chaos if I wasn't totally supervising her. I can get jobs done while she naps but that's only for 2 hours a day.

Sootica Sat 05-Mar-16 16:27:17

Not a chance in hell

Alanna1 Sat 05-Mar-16 16:28:50

It rather depends on what your friend's options are. It is not ideal at all and is poor for the child, but most children will watch TV for as long as you let them. Mine can be set up with activities like play doh which will last a good 20 minutes.

littlehooty Sat 05-Mar-16 16:29:14

I have a 2 year old, my only income is from working from home. 5 hours every day, my God it's hard. I cry myself to sleep some days but I have no other choice

Skinnydecafflatte Sat 05-Mar-16 16:30:36

I works from home 3-4 days a week with my 2.5 year old around quite successfully. Only difference is Im a childminder! Can't see any other job that you could manage it. I can't even go to the toilet alone so how she thinks that she can make phone calls or respond to emails is beyond me.

whatsagoodusername Sat 05-Mar-16 16:32:54

I wfh with my own business - it's doable if the DC are happy to be sat in front of the TV for hours, but it's not very fair on anyone.

In summer she can take a laptop to the playground and let DC run wild there for a couple hours, but it's not the best - better than he TV anyway.

Phone calls are next to impossible - I do everything over email unless absolutely necessary. And guarantee DC will drop naps as soon as she starts up.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sat 05-Mar-16 16:33:34

Pretty impossible I'd say.

Due to a monumental cock up (not mine) I was once asked begged to complete some work with a day's notice. I only worked part time and didn't have child care on that day. So I was working from home while in sole charge of 2 toddlers. I tried but it was basically impossible to do anything more difficult than checking emails while keeping an eye on them. I ended up staying up until 3 in the morning to get it all done. I only agreed in the first place because I was paid a large amount of extra money. As a regular thing? No way. Absolutely not.

OneMagnumisneverenough Sat 05-Mar-16 16:41:16

I've worked from home on occasion with permission from work with older children and they are perfectly fine about it and now that they are teenagers, my work don't care whether they are in the house or not. However, apart from an odd occasion when it's been for my convenience because one of my children has been unwell, mostly it's been because they have wanted me to work whilst I'd have been willing to take the day off. This would be when there has been a school closure for some reason and no emergency childcare was available,

I really don't think you can commit to a full time at home office type job with a toddler - that's not fair on anyone.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Sat 05-Mar-16 16:42:39

No. I certainly couldn't have done this with any of my dc.

I know that some people on mn have claimed to have done this but I think they must have had exceptionally chilled out children and I think it seems very unfair to take advantage of their dc's good nature by applying the minimum effective dose of parenting.

JizzyStradlin Sat 05-Mar-16 16:45:49

If the toddler is unusually quiet and screen addicted, she might be able to get 4 hours done between 9 and 5 sometimes. Not in a bloc, I shouldn't think, but in total. Particularly if they still nap. Wouldn't fancy trying, it would be impossible with some of them, but there might be a few who'd allow it sometimes. It'll be stressful as anything, though. I have done occasional odds and sods whilst caring for one pretty well behaved toddler, with judicious electronic babysitter use, and didn't enjoy it much.

Unless you're talking about stuffing envelopes or something?

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