On my birthdays, on anniversaries--on Mothers Day...We've been married for the past decade. Together since Uni.
Magically, three days before every event thats supposed to celebrate me somehow he's in bed having the worst illness of his life.
Last week I was sick, it was my birthday and I was working away from home. He was also working away from home in the same country I was in. (we travel tonnes for work).
He came to see me after his assignment was over and picked fights with me whenever I could spare time to spend with him. So if he wasn't in bed pretending to be on his deathbed 'god father style' he would say things that were devastating in their own ways.
Literally he thought he was in some movie so would pick an absurd thing to say ie: "I've decided to quit work and self fund a book."
We can't afford for either of us giving up our jobs. We work for money for a reason. We NEED the MONEY. Money stresses us both out.
So when I looked at him and said "thats not a funny idea, surely you can write your book after we've built up a better financial buffer" he got up and walked off.
The next day I had a few hours off to celebrate my birthday and what did he do? rolled around the floor pretending like he couldn't breathe.
Tomorrow is mothers day--and guess whose still in bed? Every time I go in there he moans, cries a little and does three dramatic gasp-coughs.
I'm just too busy to actually say or do anything, because I really don't have the time to bring it up and deal with his drama. On normal days he's okay.
I love him, the kids love him. I guess I just have to stop expecting him to put me first on birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. I suppose I could stop.
On his birthday-he gets upset if he's disturbed from anything.
AIBU?
He's always sick
FundraisingPTABitch · 05/03/2016 11:27
To be fair most men I have been with get very sick from the amount of work they do and the lack of attention they pay to looking after themselves.
I had a partner though who was ill every time we were supposed to go and do something involving my family or friends. I got the choice of abandoning my plans to be with him (usually resulting in a dramatic improvement in his health) or going and spending the whole time with a knot in my stomach from guilt, plus the drag of haivng to make his excuses all the time. He 'couldn't' make his own excuses because he was so consistent at doing this he hadn't even met most of them! I ended up divorcing him, and though this wasn't the main reason, by God it was like heaven being free of it.
I would start doing stuff without him for your special days, and the resentment won't build up. But yes, really, really frustrating. 
for Mother's Day.
He rolled round the floor pretending he couldn't breathe? 
I second the suggestion that a couple of days before the next occasion, you ask him which illness he's picking.
My ex was always either 'ill' or picked a fight for 'me' occasions or stuff with my family. He actually completely ruined DM's wedding for me...picked a fight because I wouldn't let him feel me up under my dress while right in front of the groom's elderly mother 
People who behave like this really boil my piss.
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