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AIBU?

To not move DS out of guestroom even though it means PILs will have to sleep on sofa-bed?

307 replies

Chiup · 02/03/2016 14:33

They are coming from overseas to stay for a month (possibly longer). DSil may come too. We have a 2-bed house. It feels cramped already.

DS is 8months. We've just moved his cot into guestroom to assist with sleep-training. DH feels we should move him back into our bedroom for duration of visit but I don't want to. It's his room now. He sleeps better in own room, as he used to wake every time we got up to use ensuite or snored! It's also nice to have all his toys in one place and I've turned the double bed into a play area.

We can offer PILs our double sofa-bed in lounge or they could get a hotel/holiday apartment nearby. I'd prefer the latter but it's obviously expensive and inhospitable. Sil could sleep on floor or have sofa-bed if PILs get a hotel. They are lovely people but I find it stressful having guests. I also don't want to give up our bedroom to them as I need to be on same floor as DS for night feed and settling him.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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Whitney168 · 02/03/2016 14:35

Yep, sorry.

FigMango1 · 02/03/2016 14:38

Yes Yabu, how rude of you. If you feel a month is too long can you suggest half the month being spent in a hotel.

attheendoftheday · 02/03/2016 14:38

YABU, you should move your baby back to your room.

Oly5 · 02/03/2016 14:41

Yes you're being really unreasonable and rude! It's only a month out of your life, make them feel welcome!
Of course your DS can move back in with you for a few weeks. I think you sound selfish, sorry.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/03/2016 14:41

Yabu.

Quietattheback · 02/03/2016 14:41

Bit rude. Sorry.

If they were only staying for a long weekend then the sofa bed would be reasonable but for a month, they need a bed if one is available.

I know it's a pain, but they are family and you should do your upmost to make their stay comfortable.

WineOrSleep · 02/03/2016 14:41

Yabu. A baby is a baby for heavens sakes, he's not going to be aware of where his cot is

Chiup · 02/03/2016 14:42

Can you elaborate why you feel I'm being U? Genuinely would like to know.

I feel we don't have space to accommodate them here unless they sleep in lounge. DS' sleep is more important to me than having a guestroom. The visit is 6weeks away.

OP posts:

giantpurplepeopleeater · 02/03/2016 14:42

Well, I don't think YABU as you are in a 2 bed house.... one room for you and one for baby.

However it seems like this has been arranged under the assumption or agreement that you would put PIL up.

Therefore, I think its not ubreasonable to suggest that circumstances have changed and talk to PIL about it, but given you are changing the goalposts after the trip has been booked, I would suggest that you stump up for a B&B for them.

Whatdoidohelp · 02/03/2016 14:43

It depends whether or not you invited them to visit or they said they were coming to visit.

If you invited them you need to give them your sons room.

If they wanted to come it's perfectly reasonable to ask them to spend some of the time in alternative accommodation.

maz210 · 02/03/2016 14:43

You'd be sending a big message if you make your in laws sleep on the sofa while your son takes up a double room.

If you feel that you can't cope with having them to stay for a month you need to discuss that with your husband, presumably they were counting on staying with you though so would they be able to afford a hotel for part of the month?

squoosh · 02/03/2016 14:44

Sheesh. I do not envy you having the in-laws to stay for a month (!) but seeing as you've decided they are coming you have to invite them with good grace and give them your son's room.

Seems a bit much if SIL comes too though?! Can they really not rent a flat for the month?

GenerationX2 · 02/03/2016 14:44

Yes you really ABU.

Seems to me like your main problem is you don't want them to stay - if that is the case then you need to tell them rather than come up with unreasonable reasons.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/03/2016 14:44

Because you are expecting them to sleep in a living room whilst a baby, who knows no different, gets an entire bedroom.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 02/03/2016 14:44

You are being unreasonable as your child is perfectly able to fit in your room with you, meaning your PIL will get proper sleep and adequate privacy.

Use white noise (we use thunder storms) at night,it will stop the baby hearing you get up.

Donnadoon · 02/03/2016 14:45

Going against the grain..A month?! Sod that. Will you have to do this ..like...forever? Moving DS out of his room when he is older isn't as easy or fair IMO

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 02/03/2016 14:45

Alternatively, let them take your room and you sleep on the sofa bed

FigMango1 · 02/03/2016 14:46

DS sleep is more important to me than having a guestroom.

He will still be able to sleep if he stays in your room. Hasn't he already done that.
It's UR of you because they are family travelling from afar and it's bad manners of you to not make them feel comfortable. I would be disappointed in Dh if this is what he is like. They've booked the tickets and it's horrible to now tell them they need to spend more on accommodation. For one month you can surely suck it up.

dottycat123 · 02/03/2016 14:46

It's rude because they are guests and a small baby in a movable cot can sleep anywhere. What would you do if you went on holiday,he would be in a new room then.

WineOrSleep · 02/03/2016 14:47

To clarify: you are being U because it seems unwelcoming and rude to make visiting relatives sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge rather than have the privacy of their own room, where they can shut the door and bitch about you if they want just because your PFB need to have a double bedroom. He's less than a year for goodness sakes. He doesn't need all that space and can quite happily middle along with you and your DH in your room for a month

Be a good host and be kind and generous. Seems mean spirited and uncompromising otherwise

squoosh · 02/03/2016 14:48

OP you need to find out for certain is SIL will be coming too. You've only got two bedrooms you need to be able to plan!

Chocolatteaddict1 · 02/03/2016 14:48

Dd could not sleep in our room as Dh is a horrid snorer.

If you invited them you need to make space of the invited them selves say there is no room and they need to book a hotel

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lougle · 02/03/2016 14:49

8 months? Oh my goodness. That's really rude. You need to reconsider.

Thymeout · 02/03/2016 14:51

There's no privacy when you're sleeping in the living room. You have to synchronise going to bed/getting up times with the rest of the family. Where are they going to keep their clothes etc?

If they had their own room, they could retire there for naps, personal space during the day, giving them - and you - a break.

Sure, it might disrupt ds' sleep routine a little at first, but not as much as turning the living room into a bedroom.

EssentialHummus · 02/03/2016 14:52

It depends whether or not you invited them to visit or they said they were coming to visit.

This. A month is ages. Have they invited themselves? Can your son sleep in the living room, so he isn't disturbed by snoring etc?

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