Sick of new bloke expecting me to clear up afer him

(145 Posts)
Nikye Tue 01-Mar-16 10:44:21

Not been together long, about 6 months. Anyway he tends to stay at my house on a weekend and sometimes a couple of nights during the week. When he first started staying over he used to leave his cups and plates on the living room floor, clothes on the toilet after he'd had a shower etc and even crisp packets etc on the sofa. Ive told him over and over again not to do this as I don't like having to clear up after other people. He stops it for a while and then starts it up again. Last weekend he went for a shower and left all his clothes on the toilet again (so obviously the next person to use the toilet has to sort his clothes out first). I was tired and not in the mood so I just swiped them all onto the (wet) floor, used the toilet and left them there. Didn't mention it. When he went in he went mad saying I'd left his clothes on a wet floor!!!! We had yet another conversation about it saying I was sick of picking up his stuff and he still maintained that I was out of order but promised he'd stop doing it. That very same night I found used bog roll (that he'd been blowing his nose with) on the beside table. I told him to move it which he did (whilst calling me master hmm ) and the next day I found crisp packets stuffed down the side of the sofa so I crammed them all into his coat pocket. Anyway he's buggered off home now and hasn't really been in touch much apart from to say he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Be honest did I go too far??? How else can I get him to understand?

PoundingTheStreets Tue 01-Mar-16 10:45:34

Let him go now and don't bother seeing him again.

Pootles2010 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:14

It sounds like you aren't compatible, to be honest. Its important to you, its not to him. He will not change. Sorry.

Chrysanthemum5 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:14

I don't think you can get him to understand, he clearly expects you to run around after him. Personally, I'd get rid of him. Unless the sex is amazing in which case I'd continue seeing him at his house! grin

thatscottishbiscuit Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:28

I would cut my losses, tbh. Especially bearing in mind you're only six months in. Find someone who treats you and your house with respect

CruCru Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:53

Time to give him the push.

FullMoonDiva Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:59

Not at all. I'd have binned him, cba acquiring a grown child when I'm looking for an adult relationship

BaronessEllaSaturday Tue 01-Mar-16 10:47:03

You don't get him to understand because he won't you just end the relationship and find a much better one.

TheSpottedZebra Tue 01-Mar-16 10:47:07

Allow me to be the first to say... Leave the Bastard.

You're 6 months in. It's really not going to get any better. He thinks you're there to pick up his shite, and he 'goes mad at you' when you assert yourself.

Katenka Tue 01-Mar-16 10:47:18

You probably were getting at him all weekend, because he was being a twat. If he doesn't want to ask him to move stuff, he could act like a grown up and do it himself.

Honestly, this relationship isn't going anywhere good. I couldn't live with my h if he was like that. It obviously bothers you too.

Do you really see a future where you spend the rest of your life either tidying up after him or telling him to move stuff?

Dfg15 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:47:21

You definitely did not go too far! No way would I put up with this

Trickydecision Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:04

He hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Well if you have any sense it won't be like that because you LTB pronto.

TheSpottedZebra Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:06

Ok, I was the 1st because the PP didn't actually use the LTB phrase!

But we're all unanimously saying it, aren't we.

OurBlanche Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:07

Well, there is a well used phrase often used around here... when someone shows/tell you who they are, believe them!

If you can't agree on this and he treats you like his mum then you really only have 2 choices: put up with it or tell him to sod off, permanently.

After 6 months you haven't invested too much and his lack of respect in your home is enough to put anyone off!

FoxFeatures Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:21

I wouldn't waste any more time on him. He doesn't respect you or your home.
I wouldn't put up with that behaviour after 6 decades let alone 6 months.

acasualobserver Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:25

Get new, new bloke.

AlpacaLypse Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:50

Almost certainly incurably untidy, and his attitude when called in about it stinks too. Only stratospherically good sex could possibly justify continuing this relationship, and even then... No.

PurpleDaisies Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:51

Why are you with him? It doesn't sound like you like him very much.

I wouldn't be prepared to put up with someone behaving like that in my house and there'd be an ultimatum of the start tidying up after themselves or they stop coming around. The crisp packets thing was childish though. Have a grown up talk to him about his behaviour and go from there.

TheWitTank Tue 01-Mar-16 10:48:59

I'm with you, that would REALLY piss me off. Clearly he isn't going to change after repeated conversations about it. The fact he had a go at you after he left his clothes to get wet in the bathroom would be the nail in the coffin for me. I can't stand people who expect others to pick up after them and don't respect other people's homes.

BlueMoonRising Tue 01-Mar-16 10:49:07

Is he 13 and used to his mum clearing up after him all the time?

YANBU.

Have you told him you are not his mother? Does he live in his own house like this?

MsMims Tue 01-Mar-16 10:49:50

You didn't go too far. I would bin him, he will drive you mad.

ImperialBlether Tue 01-Mar-16 10:49:59

I'd go mad if someone was shoving crisp packets down the side of my sofa! How lazy is he if he can't even put them in the bin!

SianiMoomin Tue 01-Mar-16 10:50:01

Honestly, I'd bin him. It will only get worse. Can you imagine living with him?!

Jibberjabberjooo Tue 01-Mar-16 10:50:06

He isn't going to change. This is how it will be. I'd get out of it now.

sparechange Tue 01-Mar-16 10:50:10

He won't change, and you clearly can't live with him being such a slob.

Time to cut your losses and set him free to find his lifeslattern, and you your tidy man

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