My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Sick of new bloke expecting me to clear up afer him

144 replies

Nikye · 01/03/2016 10:44

Not been together long, about 6 months. Anyway he tends to stay at my house on a weekend and sometimes a couple of nights during the week. When he first started staying over he used to leave his cups and plates on the living room floor, clothes on the toilet after he'd had a shower etc and even crisp packets etc on the sofa. Ive told him over and over again not to do this as I don't like having to clear up after other people. He stops it for a while and then starts it up again. Last weekend he went for a shower and left all his clothes on the toilet again (so obviously the next person to use the toilet has to sort his clothes out first). I was tired and not in the mood so I just swiped them all onto the (wet) floor, used the toilet and left them there. Didn't mention it. When he went in he went mad saying I'd left his clothes on a wet floor!!!! We had yet another conversation about it saying I was sick of picking up his stuff and he still maintained that I was out of order but promised he'd stop doing it. That very same night I found used bog roll (that he'd been blowing his nose with) on the beside table. I told him to move it which he did (whilst calling me master Hmm ) and the next day I found crisp packets stuffed down the side of the sofa so I crammed them all into his coat pocket. Anyway he's buggered off home now and hasn't really been in touch much apart from to say he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Be honest did I go too far??? How else can I get him to understand?

OP posts:
Report
PoundingTheStreets · 01/03/2016 10:45

Let him go now and don't bother seeing him again.

Report
Pootles2010 · 01/03/2016 10:46

It sounds like you aren't compatible, to be honest. Its important to you, its not to him. He will not change. Sorry.

Report
Chrysanthemum5 · 01/03/2016 10:46

I don't think you can get him to understand, he clearly expects you to run around after him. Personally, I'd get rid of him. Unless the sex is amazing in which case I'd continue seeing him at his house! Grin

Report
thatscottishbiscuit · 01/03/2016 10:46

I would cut my losses, tbh. Especially bearing in mind you're only six months in. Find someone who treats you and your house with respect

Report
CruCru · 01/03/2016 10:46

Time to give him the push.

Report
FullMoonDiva · 01/03/2016 10:46

Not at all. I'd have binned him, cba acquiring a grown child when I'm looking for an adult relationship

Report
BaronessEllaSaturday · 01/03/2016 10:47

You don't get him to understand because he won't you just end the relationship and find a much better one.

Report
TheSpottedZebra · 01/03/2016 10:47

Allow me to be the first to say... Leave the Bastard.

You're 6 months in. It's really not going to get any better. He thinks you're there to pick up his shite, and he 'goes mad at you' when you assert yourself.

Report
Katenka · 01/03/2016 10:47

You probably were getting at him all weekend, because he was being a twat. If he doesn't want to ask him to move stuff, he could act like a grown up and do it himself.

Honestly, this relationship isn't going anywhere good. I couldn't live with my h if he was like that. It obviously bothers you too.

Do you really see a future where you spend the rest of your life either tidying up after him or telling him to move stuff?

Report
Dfg15 · 01/03/2016 10:47

You definitely did not go too far! No way would I put up with this

Report
Trickydecision · 01/03/2016 10:48

He hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Well if you have any sense it won't be like that because you LTB pronto.

Report
TheSpottedZebra · 01/03/2016 10:48

Ok, I was the 1st because the PP didn't actually use the LTB phrase!

But we're all unanimously saying it, aren't we.

Report
OurBlanche · 01/03/2016 10:48

Well, there is a well used phrase often used around here... when someone shows/tell you who they are, believe them!

If you can't agree on this and he treats you like his mum then you really only have 2 choices: put up with it or tell him to sod off, permanently.

After 6 months you haven't invested too much and his lack of respect in your home is enough to put anyone off!

Report
FoxFeatures · 01/03/2016 10:48

I wouldn't waste any more time on him. He doesn't respect you or your home.
I wouldn't put up with that behaviour after 6 decades let alone 6 months.

Report
acasualobserver · 01/03/2016 10:48

Get new, new bloke.

Report
AlpacaLypse · 01/03/2016 10:48

Almost certainly incurably untidy, and his attitude when called in about it stinks too. Only stratospherically good sex could possibly justify continuing this relationship, and even then... No.

Report
PurpleDaisies · 01/03/2016 10:48

Why are you with him? It doesn't sound like you like him very much.

I wouldn't be prepared to put up with someone behaving like that in my house and there'd be an ultimatum of the start tidying up after themselves or they stop coming around. The crisp packets thing was childish though. Have a grown up talk to him about his behaviour and go from there.

Report
TheWitTank · 01/03/2016 10:48

I'm with you, that would REALLY piss me off. Clearly he isn't going to change after repeated conversations about it. The fact he had a go at you after he left his clothes to get wet in the bathroom would be the nail in the coffin for me. I can't stand people who expect others to pick up after them and don't respect other people's homes.

Report
BlueMoonRising · 01/03/2016 10:49

Is he 13 and used to his mum clearing up after him all the time?

YANBU.

Have you told him you are not his mother? Does he live in his own house like this?

Report
MsMims · 01/03/2016 10:49

You didn't go too far. I would bin him, he will drive you mad.

Report
ImperialBlether · 01/03/2016 10:49

I'd go mad if someone was shoving crisp packets down the side of my sofa! How lazy is he if he can't even put them in the bin!

Report
SianiMoomin · 01/03/2016 10:50

Honestly, I'd bin him. It will only get worse. Can you imagine living with him?!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Jibberjabberjooo · 01/03/2016 10:50

He isn't going to change. This is how it will be. I'd get out of it now.

Report
sparechange · 01/03/2016 10:50

He won't change, and you clearly can't live with him being such a slob.

Time to cut your losses and set him free to find his lifeslattern, and you your tidy man

Report
LifeIsLookingUp · 01/03/2016 10:50

Laughing at the crisp packets in his coat pockets Grin

Bin him off, if he's showing a lack of respect at only 6 months itll be 10 times worse in another 6 months. Going mad about his clothes being wet on the floor is a concern too. Get rid and find someone whose willing to respect you and your home

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.