To think this mum is taking advantage a bit?

(87 Posts)
cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:42:22

Ds is 5 and on the way to school i meet up with another mum to walk the 15 min journey. On average 2 to 3 days a week she asks if her dd can walk with me as she has to be at work/go back to bed as she has been on nights/other child is ill/needs to get to an appointment.

At first i was happy to help but now im thinking am i being taken for a mug a bit? She has my phone number and rings me to ask to pick her dd up. Ive stopped answering the phone now.

The thing is i dont know how to say no as we see her on the way to school! I also have a 3yo dd who i need to watch too.

YakTriangle Mon 29-Feb-16 07:43:58

Is there any slight tweak to you can make to your route do you don't see them? Leaving five mins earlier or later maybe? She's definitely using you anyway.

HortonWho Mon 29-Feb-16 07:45:47

Say, not unless you want to take turns walking them and today is your turn :-)

selsigfach Mon 29-Feb-16 07:46:58

Yes, she's taking you for a mug and you're letting her.
"No, not today" - repeat every day!
"No, it's enough responsiblity holding two little hands"
"No, I like this quality time with just my children"
I don't suppose she's ever once taken your child to school, has she?

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:47:23

There is but it adds about ten mins to the walk. If she doesnt see me for any reason i see someone else with her dd at he school so there are a few people who she asks.

Oysterbabe Mon 29-Feb-16 07:47:51

Do you have to make a detour to pick up her kid? If it's just the kid walking with you it's not an issue is it?

Oysterbabe Mon 29-Feb-16 07:48:18

Ah cross post.

Kennington Mon 29-Feb-16 07:48:47

Some people are just hopeless. There isn't much you can do but say no, if you don't want to.

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:49:30

No not once. I know its not the hardest thing in the world to walk another child but its he cheekiness that gets to me. One time she couldnt get to me on the phone to pick her dd up so she rang school to give them permission to let her go with me...without asking me first!

rollonthesummer Mon 29-Feb-16 07:51:07

Laugh and say, sorry-my two are playing up at the moment and need a hand each! Add a smiley face or something ;)

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:51:09

I dont have to go out of my way so the child can walk with me, no.

Shes only four though and a bit wild near the roads.

rollonthesummer Mon 29-Feb-16 07:51:49

* One time she couldnt get to me on the phone to pick her dd up so she rang school to give them permission to let her go with me...without asking me first!*

That is taking the piss! I'd speak to the school.

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:52:13

rollonthesummer thanks good idea.

When she asks in the morning its just as she sees me so not on the phone or text so i am put on the spot.

treaclesoda Mon 29-Feb-16 07:55:01

How about every time she asks you to do it you respond with 'oh, great, of course, so you'll take them tomorrow then? ' and put her on the spot back?

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 07:57:26

I know i need to toughen up a bit with people, i think of really good responses but it comes to it and i bottle it haha these are good suggestions though thanks

mimishimmi Mon 29-Feb-16 07:58:46

I would have refused to take him if she'd done that to me at pickup time. How rude.

theycallmemellojello Mon 29-Feb-16 07:59:17

I don't agree with the suggestions of passive-aggressive replies. For whatever reason, she's got it into her head that you don't mind doing this. But you do mind. So just tell her that. "Sorry, Betty, I don't mind picking up Bettina every once in a blue moon, but I'm finding it too much doing it so often so I'm afraid you'll have to find an alternative."

SaucyJack Mon 29-Feb-16 08:01:07

So she's basically sticking her head out of the front door and offloading her kid on any passing fucker walking past to school?

I admire her nerve in a sense. I'm sure we've all wanted to do it, and then slink off back to bed.

But YANBU to not want her taking the piss every morning. You're just gonna have to tell her outright to walk her own bloody kid to school. Add a tinkly laugh so it doesn't come across as too aggressive.

MLGs Mon 29-Feb-16 08:03:41

I would say to her "let's start taking it in turns" unless you don't want to do this.

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 08:03:49

She did manage to get to school just on time the day she rang them luckily.

I dont think i could be passive aggresive. I was thinking of maybe saying something along the lines of 'i will take her today but please dont ask anymore as its hard enough gettig to school with my own two'

Only1scoop Mon 29-Feb-16 08:04:14

So it's pick up as well sometimes and she phoned the school shock

No chance

She is taking advantage and sounds a tad entitled to boot.

Agree with pp though.

Just a friendly honest no with no PA undertones.

cardboardboxx Mon 29-Feb-16 08:06:53

I enjoy walking to school with my ds so wpuldnt really want to turn take, good suggestion though. She knows i do all the school runs as im a sahm at the minute and she does work a lot..

I few months ago she asked me if id do it all the time and she would pay me, so i was brave and told her no as id find it too much so i thought she had got the hint, obviously not.

treaclesoda Mon 29-Feb-16 08:07:33

Yes, actually, although I suggested a passive aggressive answer I meant to stick one of these afterwards wink. Because the only proper way to deal with this sort of thing is to be clear that you don't want to do it. 'Sorry, it doesn't suit me to do that'. And don't feel you have to make excuses as to why it doesn't suit, just 'no, sorry, that doesn't suit me'.

Writerwannabe83 Mon 29-Feb-16 08:07:42

I can't believe all these threads recently about entitled people using other people and making mugs out of them.

I just can't believe the nerve of some people. I'm just shock shock shock

The bit about her ringing the school to give permission for you to take her daughter home without even asking you is just awful!!

I would do what you do and just ignore the texts and phone calls.

Only1scoop Mon 29-Feb-16 08:09:57

You need to sort it Op

Else I have a vision of you on a daily detour in various disguises....hiding behind bushes....grin

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