to ask for a little bit of care and thoughtfulness from DH?

(19 Posts)
Flossiesmummy Sat 27-Feb-16 08:07:14

Yesterday I barfed a lot at work - in the end I had to ask DH to collect me when he got out of work - I just wasn't capable of driving myself home. This morning I've got the runs and other flu symptoms. I'm also 22 weeks pregnant.

This morning he has just sat on the sofa, playing some stupid game on his phone. I had to fetch myself any glass of water or other comfort I needed. Our Dd asked for a drink and he made zero effort to bring her one so I had to drag myself off the sofa, head swimming, to fetch it for her.

AIBU to expect him to drag himself away from his phone to a) actually speak to his family b) look after me a little bit? If it was him that was sick our Dd would be dressed by now and I'd have taken her out somewhere so he could have a rest.

TendonQueen Sat 27-Feb-16 08:13:03

Of course not. Tell him. Don't just sit there or get up and do it yourself. Say he needs to get DD ready and take her out once he's brought you a drink. Is he normally like this?

Seeyounearertime Sat 27-Feb-16 08:14:29

go to bed, stay there, leave him to look after DD.

BillBrysonsBeard Sat 27-Feb-16 08:17:11

YANBU at all. Like TendonQueen says, ask him instead of doing it yourself. But you shouldn't have to, he should see you're ill and take over. Unfortunately it's a common complaint on here, some men don't do well when their partner is ill. Hope you feel better soon and take it easy flowers

Flossiesmummy Sat 27-Feb-16 08:18:08

Tendon - he's not normally like this. I just know I can be grumpy when I'm ill so didn't want to BU.

Flossiesmummy Sat 27-Feb-16 08:19:59

See you and Bill - just feel bad that Dd is not getting much interaction! It's her weekend as well and I'm desperate to spend some quality time with her sad

Creampastry Sat 27-Feb-16 08:20:00

Just go back to bed!

HermioneJeanGranger Sat 27-Feb-16 08:26:37

Go to bed and stay there.

Oysterbabe Sat 27-Feb-16 08:27:50

Have you asked him to help?

Katenka Sat 27-Feb-16 08:28:27

Tell him you are too ill. He needs to look after dd and go to bed.

But don't be stressing about how much interaction she is getting on one day.

PennyHasNoSurname Sat 27-Feb-16 08:29:20

Go to bed. You will.not get better sat on the couch doing fetching and carrying. Go to sleep.

Flossiesmummy Sat 27-Feb-16 08:30:05

Oyster - not outright. I did say "Dd wants a drink" and "I could do with a glass of water too"

Some fell on stony ground, as they say angry

Euphemia Sat 27-Feb-16 08:32:42

Get to bed! You're ill and need to be away from other people.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 27-Feb-16 08:33:10

if you don't feel well, go to bed and leave him to sort everything out, don't be a martyr

Katenka Sat 27-Feb-16 08:33:50

Tbh if an adult is ill. Say dh or mum or dh. I would expect them to let me know if they need help and ask.

I wouldn't assume that they needed me to care for them. Dh is an adult if he feels that ill.

But that's probably because that's what I would do. Get on with it and if I really couldn't would ask for help.

Flossiesmummy Sat 27-Feb-16 08:38:35

I've gone to bed and I can hear him doing all the things he ought to be doing now.

He's tidying something? and talking to Dd and has just fetched her some cereal.

It's almost like when I'm there he thinks he can get away with doing sweet FA.

rainbowstardrops Sat 27-Feb-16 08:41:15

There you go then! Stay in bed and rest flowers

Katenka Sat 27-Feb-16 08:41:38

Op get some rest. Don't get worked up about it now.

If you feel like that sort it and speak to him later.

Hope you get well soon thanks

Seeyounearertime Sat 27-Feb-16 08:43:56

It's almost like when I'm there he thinks he can get away with doing sweet FA.

probably because you let him. grin
Stop letting him sit around on his phone, kick him in the shin and tell him to shift his arse.

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