Was I U? DH makes me feel like I'm a hypochondriac....

(50 Posts)
DreamCloud99 Wed 24-Feb-16 10:05:37

DT1 was not himself at all yesterday .

Pre school called to tell me he had a temperature and was crying for me , so I collected him .

By about 5pm , he had fallen asleep (he never naps) , and he was quite drowsy and difficult to wake .

He still had a temperature , and I noticed his hands and feet were cold - he had socks on and the house was warm .

At this point I wanted to call the dr just for some advice , but DH was reluctant saying he's just sleeping .

I mentioned that I was concerned about his cold hands / feet and he was still reluctant saying he will be fine .

So I called the dr anyway blush and she said to keep an eye on him .

She called back about 40 minutes later and said she was going to come and check on him at home when the surgery closes .

At this point , DT1 was in bed .

The Dr. came and I woke up DT1 when I brought him downstairs ....

To my embarrassment , he was absolutely fine ! blush he had cooled down (calpol?) and his hands and feet had warmed up.

He was wide awake and giggling. Dr checked him over and said probably a virus .

I feel so embarrassed that I wasted her time . But I was concerned .

WIBU?

Jibberjabberjooo Wed 24-Feb-16 10:12:19

No not at all. Children always miraculously improve as soon as a trip to the GP is mentioned. I've had this with my children, its typical. And then I'm trying to convince the GP that this really isn't how they've been!

You know what one GP said to me? its much more reassuring to see a child who is ill but has periods of being happy and rousable. It's the ones that aren't they really worry about.

budgiegirl Wed 24-Feb-16 10:13:43

You were not at all unreasonable. It's better that you were a bit embarrassed than you ignored the signs for meningitis. Glad you DS is feeling better.

Angelika321 Wed 24-Feb-16 10:14:04

No I don't think you were.

When my son was a few weeks old, he had a temp with cold hands and feet, but was feeding ok. I made a GP appointment for the same day. I wasn't overly concerned. The GP sent us straight to the hospital where he was put on the children's ward. I still wasn't too worried, until that night when the Consultant told me to call my husband to come in. She then told me that he was in a really bad way and was going to be transferred to Intensive Care in another hospital. That's when it hit me, just how poorly he was. He was kept in hospital for 10 days. If I hadn't gone to the GP in the morning and had just kept him at home, it's unlikely he would have made it.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Wed 24-Feb-16 10:15:29

The Doctor was concerned enough to visit your home, she obviously felt Ywnbu and I'm sure she would rather visit a healthy child than not visit a child that ended up getting sicker.

Oysterbabe Wed 24-Feb-16 10:18:23

Yanbu. Why take the chance?

JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD Wed 24-Feb-16 10:21:30

Of course you aren't unreasonable. The thing with children is they can very quickly get better - but they can also very quickly get much much worse.

mumofthemonsters808 Wed 24-Feb-16 10:27:48

I'm more amazed by the fact the GP did a home visit, very lucky to get this service.

I once took DS1 to A&E and they sent me home because he seemed fine. When I took him back a second time he was happily bouncing up and down on the bed and ripping up the paper sheet covering it. I felt such a fraud. They then did a blood test because he did have a high temp and he was immediately admitted and started on IV antibiotics. On the other hand DS2 was awful for about 30 mins after he had his tonsils out then bounced back like nothing had happened. Children can appear well until very ill and vice versa can appear listless and pathetic then two hours later they are back to causing chaos. It is really hard to tell.

Medical professionals would prefer to see an unwell child that turns out to be OK than miss a child that was a lot more ill than they seem.

BadgersBum Wed 24-Feb-16 10:37:17

I once got an emergency appointment for my DS for a heat rash ... in my head it was meningitis!

You're allowed to be worried about your kids, so definitely not U.

Katenka Wed 24-Feb-16 10:40:29

It depends.

Do you do this a lot? As a one off Yanbu.

I know someone who is at the doctors every week concerned that either her or her kids have something wrong with them. Her oldest has seen 5 specialists (all for different things) in less than 3 years.

Oysterbabe Wed 24-Feb-16 10:41:55

I got an emergency appointment for my 8 week old yesterday because I noticed she has oral thrush and was crying when trying to feed. The Dr was like "Is she your first?" <head tilt>

ouryve Wed 24-Feb-16 10:45:26

You weren't totally unreasonable. Having a temperature and being uncharacteristically drowsy is something that could go either way - either slept off with some paracetamol, like what happened to your DC, or get worse.

My usual course of action is to see what happens after a nap, though. Both of the boys are prone to migraines and this is how they tend to start off - pale hot and sleepy. Then they either sleep loads, or sleep for a bit, wake up, throw up, sleep a little more, then bounce around the house, right as rain, at 2am!

Given your DC's history (ie never does this) and overall symptoms, though, you were right to call for advice. In the days of NHS direct I would have called them, but I don't trust the current service to make any useful suggestions that I won't have considered, already.

Goingtobeawesome Wed 24-Feb-16 10:58:32

I don't see how you could ever be unreasonable when worrying about your child. It's your responsibility as a parent to a child who can't look after themselves. I'm sure most doctors would rather a false alarm than someone bullied by their husband into not calling when they are worried. No need for the embarrassed face that you called without your LAM husbands permission. He should be ashamed he is a wanker who made fun of your worries. Cold hands and feet are an indicator of something being wrong iirc.

Goingtobeawesome Wed 24-Feb-16 11:00:59

Katenka hmm. How lovely of you to say it's all right just this once to the OP.

spiderlight Wed 24-Feb-16 11:03:33

You did the right thing. Drowsiness, temperature and cold hands and feet can all point to meningitis - they can all be insignificant, but in combination, as the doctor's reaction shows, they are a concern. Thankfully in this case he's fine but you were right to seek advice.

Katenka Wed 24-Feb-16 11:06:32

How lovely of you to say it's all right just this once to the OP.

How lovely of you to be so PA.

The op asked opinions I gave mine. Why is that an issue?

SolidGoldBrass Wed 24-Feb-16 11:09:33

You did the right thing. Neither you nor your H are medical professionals and GPs themselves are fully aware there are several sets of symptoms that are either a mild bug and no cause for concern or something which needs fast and powerful intervention. So they would rather come and see a kid who turns out to be OK than not be called until it's too late and the child is dying or going to be seriously ill long-term.

Goingtobeawesome Wed 24-Feb-16 11:10:51

I'm not being PA. I thought you were rude and patronising.

Exactly why is it okay to worry unnecessarily in your opinion once but not more than?

tiggytape Wed 24-Feb-16 11:11:56

YANBU at all.
Many serious illnesses (I suspect you feared meningitis) need to be treated before they progress too far but, in the early stages, they present like flu or a virus.
There is no way for a non-medical person to know the difference (and even medical people don't always spot it straight away) so you have to be cautious when a child has worrying symptoms like that.

NameAgeLocation Wed 24-Feb-16 11:12:28

I once had to take my newborn to the OOH due to high fever, listlessness and projectile vomiting.

By the time it was our turn to see the doctor she was alert as anything, bright as a button and kept giggling at him hmm

I felt like the silliest most overprotective mother but he just laughed and said that babies have a habit of doing that and I was right to bring her in. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

Katenka Wed 24-Feb-16 11:15:29

I'm not being PA. I thought you were rude and patronising.

You were wrong

Exactly why is it okay to worry unnecessarily in your opinion once but not more than?

Read the sentence before . If she does it a lot it may be the reason her husband felt she was over-reacting.

Have your opinion and I'll have mine. I

Nibledbyducks Wed 24-Feb-16 11:17:45

High temperature and cold hands and feet also points to sepsis. There has been a recent thread on mums net to raise awareness but obviously the message still isn't getting across from the responses on this thread. Sepsistrust.org

StrictlyMumDancing Wed 24-Feb-16 11:18:21

Not at all, the Dr would not have come round if they weren't concerned and they'll be used to kids doing this. FWIW my DD perforated an eardrum and we had to wait for an appt - the nurse who had been in and out of the waiting area even pointed out that one minute DD was asleep in my lap, 5 mins later she was running around like nothing was wrong, only the fall asleep again a short while later.

I know someone who is at the doctors every week concerned that either her or her kids have something wrong with them. Her oldest has seen 5 specialists (all for different things) in less than 3 years.

Sounds a bit like me, except if I hadn't pressured my Drs and they hadn't sent us to specialists to shut me up then both myself and my DCs wouldn't have been correctly diagnosed. I'm still suffering the fall out of waiting 2 years for the correct diagnosis for something my Dr told me I was imagining, and my DD is now awaiting surgery for something her consultant reckons could have been sorted out if my gp 'had just done the basics' when I first brought her in. Thankfully DS is sorted.

Goingtobeawesome Wed 24-Feb-16 11:20:30

I will K

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