everyday is a struggle. It has been this way for a decade
shit stuff is always happening to me. Abusive partner. lone parent for 20 years. did all the right things, went, studied, trained. got a 'good' job. Pay is awful, working conditions terrible. constantly stressed. cry almost every day because i cannot cope with the workload and hours i do. such is public sector under a tory govt.
I have no money, no home, no security, nothing. got evicted from my old rented flat last year. homeless for a while. Moved into a shared rented flat, live with people who exclude me. hate it but cant afford to move.
i go on dates occasionally; no man ever wants to see me more than twice. I have aged badly. i'm 50, look it. Tired eyes, bags, droopy face. put on weight. feel so ugly. i know they are disappointed when they meet me. I can hide the unhappiness, be positive and lively when I am out, have evenings full of mutual chat and connnections and I always get the 'i like you as a friend' line. I know if I looked prettier they would want to see me again.. I'm not daft. It hurts. I look in the mirror, I see a tired wreck too.
I am so lonely. I have a few friends, but they have partners. I spend much of my time alone. I make friends sometimes but it rarely feels easy.
i just feel at the end of my life now
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AIBU?
to just want to give up
11 replies
Thatlldo · 24/02/2016 02:14
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