I didnt invite you to my wedding because ...

(12 Posts)
mamacasshadahairyass Mon 22-Feb-16 17:54:03

I caught up with some old friends at the weekend, there were 6 of us in total, and we all went to school together. I've kept in close touch with 3 of them, I see the fourth one a couple of times a year and the final one (I'll call her Mave for this post) rarely. So rarely I don't actually consider her a friend these days, tbh. We have nothing in common any more. One of my closer friends keeps in regular contact with her, that's where the link is.

In fact this weekend was the first time I've seen Mave in just over four years. I cant remember the time before that, but likely to have been late 90s/very early 00s. On Saturday, Mave cornered me and had a go at me because I didn't invite her to my wedding (which was TEN years ago), which, according to her, I was obliged to do because I went to her wedding evening do - in 1996.

Was it unreasonable of me to have told her if she was that upset about not being invited, perhaps she should have made an effort to keep in touch?

MrsHathaway Mon 22-Feb-16 18:07:08

Lol no YWNBU.

It is a vague general rule that you tend to invite people to your wedding if you were invited to theirs, but not ten years apart if you've scarcely seen each other since!

Was it a particularly legendary bash?

nocabbageinmyeye Mon 22-Feb-16 18:09:35

You should have told her you are flattered she wanted to come to your wedding so much that she's still shitting on about it ten years later

Yanbu

summerainbow Mon 22-Feb-16 18:13:35

I think mave is just telling that 10 years she consider you a friend and was hurt that you did invite to your wedding.
You could just said sorry but you can't remember why you were invited.

I had this with my wedding one of my ex husband cousin ask him nearly 20 years later why they not invited . I dont know what he said and I have no idea either only that if had not met in 3 years we had been together they were not coming . And he did not like his cousin's any ways . He was invited with his new girlfriend to their daughters though.

mamacasshadahairyass Mon 22-Feb-16 18:20:45

Not at all Mrs Hathaway. We got hitched abroad, just the two of us, and then had a very small party when we got back home. It wasn't clear if she was miffed because she wasn't invited to the ceremony or the party. grin

Pinkheart5915 Mon 22-Feb-16 18:51:29

I don't think just because you went to her wedding 10 years ago she should of got an invite, especially if you've not been in touch very often.

I got married abroad too in San Francisco and had a party on our return, we only invited family and close friends

Hepzibar Mon 22-Feb-16 18:55:44

Some people are just odd.

SevenOfNineTrue Mon 22-Feb-16 18:57:47

Maybe she considers you a closer friend than you do?

I remember when I was young, a friend who I thought was close but I did not see that often, did not invite me to her wedding. I was hurt as I assumed a connection that was clearly not there. I thought live and learn.

Had she been drinking when she cornered you?

MissBattleaxe Mon 22-Feb-16 19:00:10

No, she is BU. It is up to the bride and groom. If you start inviting people you are barely in touch with on the grounds that you were invited to her evening do several years later, then nobody would ever be able to afford to get married.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Mon 22-Feb-16 19:07:26

Wow, and I thought I could hold onto things for a long time. Even I couldn't be arsed raising this after 10 years.

Minisoksmakehardwork Mon 22-Feb-16 19:12:22

Bloody hell. So she got married 20 years ago and got her knickers in a knot because you didn't invite her to your wedding 10 years ago. And she's still harping on about it... I can perhaps see why you didn't stay in touch with her so much.

I'd not let it worry you any longer. You didn't invite her because you felt 10 years after her wedding you were no longer as friendly as you have once been. Is she one of those stay in touch with everyone she's know since preschool types?

mamacasshadahairyass Mon 22-Feb-16 19:44:06

One of my close friends was at preschool with her, but even she says she's got nothing in common with her these days.

She's quite into one-upmanship so I suspect she's miffed she never got to check out my £250 off the peg dress to make sure it wasn't nicer than hers (it wasn't, tbh, hers was gorgeous!).

When I bumped into her 4 years ago the first thing she did was grab my hand and look at my engagement ring, which I thought was a bit weird. Not even a bit of chit chat first!

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