To make dd give up her class?

(45 Posts)
PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:14:17

DD does a class for two hours a week. Now prices have gone up it costs £12 per week plus competition/exam/clothing costs. DD LOVES this class.

Honestly for me it is a pain in the backside. Circumstances have changed and financially it is a struggle especially with the extra costs. We are currently JUST affording it but only just and in place of missing out on other things and I am worried she might get higher level and then us not be able to afford it.

I have to also hang around outside for two hours as you cannot stay and watch.

If I'm honest despite a very qualified and good instructor I cannot see the hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of progress. She's ok and double passed one exam missing a grade in the early months but hasn't improved massively since then and she's not gifted at it.

But she loves it sad

TheSpottedZebra Sun 21-Feb-16 18:19:15

Is there an option to do the class but not the competitions?
Or is there another similar fun class that is cheaper and has no comps?

TheSpottedZebra Sun 21-Feb-16 18:20:10

But - no if you can't afford it, then she can't go.

How old is she, would she understand money?

FatimaShitbread Sun 21-Feb-16 18:20:21

I don't think I could ever stop my dc doing somethin they loved even if they weren't Olympic standard. Ds does 3 swimming lessons a week. He's never going to be a good swimmer but he loves it and it's his biggest form of exercise. Don't get me started on how much dd's dance classes cost!
However, if it got to the point that paying for it was a big struggle and there was no way to wiggle money from elsewhere then they'd have to stop. I wouldn't make them stop something they love on the off chance they might prefer something else.

neolara Sun 21-Feb-16 18:25:31

Why does it matter if she isn't going to be great at it? Surely what's important is that she loves it.

MirriVan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:27:30

If it were my daughter I'd be looking at all the possible ways to be able to afford it if she loves it - wouldn't matter how good she was at it.
For me, any hobby that involves getting out of the house, exercise and meeting people is a good thing for kids, especially if they are passionate about it.
If things are really desperate, maybe cut down to once a fortnight if you have to, and tell your DD that she can continue lessons but you can't afford the competitions and exams?
Could you find something productive to with the time you have to wait? If it's something that could earn you £12 (eg a cleaning job local to the dance school) then you've solved your problem!

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:29:07

Neolara if we could easily afford it without having to really struggle it wouldn't matter at all.

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:34:07

Its something that she would have to go to every week to be able to do the exams which are every three months and cost another £30 each time. She would not want to not do exams. Competitions we could leave.

She does do another class in something else but that is funded.

redskytonight Sun 21-Feb-16 18:35:48

What else does she do? Can she be made to choose? How old is she - old enough to understand that money is tight and if she really wants to do this class it might be in lieu of birthday presents etc. In fact if she's not old enough to understand that, then she's young enough not to really miss it.

BertrandRussell Sun 21-Feb-16 18:39:38

Bet it's Irish dancing!

MirriVan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:39:52

But if she took lessons once a fortnight she might be able to take the exams later - i.e. take an exam every 6 months rather than every 3. It would take her longer to progress, sure, but at least she'd still be able to do the thing she loves.

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:39:57

She's a teen.
She does another activity. We have a funded place. It is free and she got all her uniform.

museumum Sun 21-Feb-16 18:42:36

If it's active I'd do all you can to afford it. Or look into different classes for the same activity?
It's VERY hard to keep teens active through to adulthood but also very important for mental and physical health.

DIYandEatCake Sun 21-Feb-16 18:43:40

My mum scrimped and saved to allow me to go to a class for something I loved (but was, at that point, pretty average at), and I'm eternally grateful as it became a lifelong passion and a career for me. If there's any way of affording to continue I would, having something in life that you love is worth so much.

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:48:41

Mirri that might be an option although I would imagine she would hate it when the others came into class or moved sessions due to grading and she hadn't.

I suggested she do the second hour every other week instead of weekly and she had a crisis that she wouldn't get her exams.

Not Irish dancing. I watched a program on cbbc on that the other day and could never afford that!!

MadamDeathstare Sun 21-Feb-16 18:51:03

Can she get a part time job like a paper route?

Can you volunteer at the place that runs the classes and get teaching for your DD at a reduced rate? DD's ice skating school gives students a reduced rate if they volunteer to coach the special Olympics team or their parents volunteer to make props for the skating shows.

One year my mother was having trouble deciding what to buy DD for her birthday and Christmas. She ended up buying her new ice skates for her birthday and a competition dress for Christmas. This Christmas the family got together and bought her a saxophone. Do you think family would give your DD money for her birthday or Christmas to put towards the classes, or for equipment that she needs to do it?

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:51:03

Thanks DIY interesting to hear from the Childs perspective

specialsubject Sun 21-Feb-16 18:51:58

a teenager is old enough to understand 'can't afford it'.

that's life. Sorry.

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:53:04

Paper round is an option.

Volunteering isn't. I have tried. They have loads.

ChalkHearts Sun 21-Feb-16 18:55:08

Getting a paper round is a very good idea!

My 13 year old DD has one and earns £25 a week. Which would make a real difference to you.

Just ask at your local newsagent....

lorelei9 Sun 21-Feb-16 18:57:23

you say she's a teen, so I'm wondering if there's anything she can give up....do you give her pocket money? Can she contribute? Could rellies etc give contributions to these classes as Xmas or birthday gifts?

does she have a phone - would she be willing to reduce usage on that? Just trying to think of all avenues.

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 18:57:46

Wow £25 would massively help. Is that morning and night seven days a week?

PinanNidan Sun 21-Feb-16 19:00:53

I don't give pocket money
My parents give her a fiver a week
I've not topped her phone up in months as I've not been able to afford it.
Only relatives are elderly parents. They help as much as possible.

Veterinari Sun 21-Feb-16 19:04:09

Is it martial arts OP? I did that as a teen and I'd def recommend it. As I progressed I started assisting with teaching and had the classes in lieu of pocket money. Eventually I taught classes myself.

It was great both physically and mentally. I agree with PP whatever it is, if she loves it then do try and give her the opportunity

lorelei9 Sun 21-Feb-16 19:05:03

ah, paper round or other short time job seems a great idea then.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now