ISBU re hen party game, or did I mess up?

(125 Posts)
fishcake84 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:05:47

Friend's hen party last night, started late afternoon at one of the party's houses for drinks, nibbles and a few daft games, before going on to town for a meal, drinks, club - the usual.

One of the games which I helped organise was kind of Blind Date - I asked a few pretty harmless questions to her fiancé, the brother and the boyfriend of one of the other girls in the group. Questions along the lines of "where would you take Bride2be on holiday?", "what would your ideal first date be?" - there was nothing overtly sexual or weird. The idea was for her to listen to the responses and pick a "Date" and hopefully it would be her fiancé. We did something similar at my hen party a few years ago.

Anyway, she picked her brother. And went utterly batshit with us all for "making" her do something so disgusting. We all reassured her that it was just a laugh and no one thought she fancied her brother FFS. After a lot of pandering to her from pretty much everyone there, she calmed down and we went out for the night and things seemed ok.

In the club later on and after many drinks she cornered me in the loos a bit and had a go about how I'd made her look like she didn't love her fiancé, or was shallow, or unobservant and various other rants. She also reckons she won't be able to look at her brother knowing he answered the questions. Ugh. As I mentioned before, the questions were totally non-sexual and I actually thought the brother had done quite a good job of revealing who he was in his answers (for a first date he said he would take her home to his parents as he thought she would love them and feel like she'd known them all her life...).

Anyway, I have apologised that she feels that way, reminded her that no one thought she fancied her brother, it was just a silly game, and reminded her we did exactly the same at my hen do (where I picked my friend's dad as my date!) and it had no reflection on her or her relationship.

Anyway, she stayed with her bridesmaid last night who has text me to say she is still in a strop with me, and bridesmaid is a bit baffled by what a big deal she is making of it. BM doesn't think I've done anything wrong. Do you?

fishcake84 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:07:26

Argh second paragraph should read that I asked questions to her fiancé, her brother, and another girl's bf

emsyj Sun 21-Feb-16 11:08:13

I think she has her own issues that are causing this reaction. Either pre-wedding nerves or potentially more serious doubts.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sun 21-Feb-16 11:08:36

Including her brother in the mix was mean. You set her up to be humiliated. I would have been a bit disturbed if I had 'picked' my brother in that scenario. You got this one wrong OP.

toohardtothinkofaname Sun 21-Feb-16 11:08:42

YANBU, she needs to lighten the fuck up. It was a 'game', clue is in the name

MissBattleaxe Sun 21-Feb-16 11:09:51

It sounds a bit of fun that she took the wrong way. Hopefully the BM can calm her down a bit.

Either that or she DOES fancy her brother and it's opened a can of worms! smile

CooPie10 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:09:51

I think Yabu a bit, including her brother in it was s but Urgh. Why put her on the spot.

CadenceRoastingByAnOpenFire Sun 21-Feb-16 11:09:52

That's actually a pretty fun game and she sounds miserable op. You've apologised now, what more can you do? She's totally over reacting.

MrsBruceBogtrotter Sun 21-Feb-16 11:09:57

She sounds unhinged.

rollonthesummer Sun 21-Feb-16 11:10:45

She has blown it all completely out of proportion! Does she have past form for being a bit of a strop box or is this really out of character?

What did others on the hen night do or say when she was going batshit??

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Sun 21-Feb-16 11:11:05

Did she know in advance that one of the respondees was her brother?

Ameliablue Sun 21-Feb-16 11:11:10

Sounds like pre wedding nerves

Creatureofthenight Sun 21-Feb-16 11:11:16

I don't think you did anything terrible. I'd imagine that if she failed to pick her fiancé for any of the questions it's made her feel daft and she's probably worried that you all think she doesn't know him well. These aren't nice feelings to have, so she's redirecting them into being cross with you.

Brightside65 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:11:26

Brides can be mental! I've not been to a hen where there hasn't been drama of some sort.

Why on earth she wouldn't laugh at the outcome!!! I'd probably pick my brother too we have similar tastes.

It's actually weirder she's making a deal about it!

DoreenLethal Sun 21-Feb-16 11:11:45

You need to headtilt her - is everything ok as you are blowing this out of all proportion?

fishcake84 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:12:20

Oooh I'll just point out that she knew who the three blind dates were, just not who was "Date 1", "Date 2" and "Date 3" so I think she should have paid a teensy bit of attention if she didn't want to pick her brother. As I said in OP, he made it pretty obvious who he was.

Lj8893 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:12:25

If that had been me and I'd picked my brother I would have said "ewww gross" and then laughed and forgotten all about it. She's being ridiculous.

Evabeaversprotege Sun 21-Feb-16 11:12:53

Sounds like a good game! I don't think it was mean or intentionally cruel.

She is BU. And possibly has issues.

Jitterybug Sun 21-Feb-16 11:13:33

I don't think you did anything wrong, she should have taken it in good humour, of course no one would think she actually fancies her brother.

SmallBee Sun 21-Feb-16 11:15:48

YANBU at all. The questions weren't sexual so I think it was fine.
Some people are just weird. I don't think it was mean to include her brother, mean would have been including her ex!
It makes sense he brother might choose answers she'd like what with them having been raised together.
Honestly even if you were in the wrong you've already apologised and explained your reasoning so I don't see what else you can do?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:15:48

I think it's a bit odd to include her brother in a Blind Date game. However, hen parties seems to have a lot of weird and wonderful things in them, and she is being unreasonable if she keeps banging on about it. I'd have just laughed it off, she's just elongating the subject if she keeps on about it.

TheWitTank Sun 21-Feb-16 11:15:49

No, she is making a big deal over nothing. Was she/is she pissed/hungover? You have apologised, let her have a strop and get over it. Hopefully in the clear light if day she will realise she is being a tit!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 21-Feb-16 11:17:12

So she knew her brother was in the kind date? She's being very unreasonable then and a bit stupid if she didn't pick up on that clue.

rollonthesummer Sun 21-Feb-16 11:17:50

I think it's really funny to include her brother!! She probably would have had a stop if she'd picked the friend's boyfriend too. Is she normally a bit hard work or is it just wedding nerves?!

BonitaFangita Sun 21-Feb-16 11:17:56

If the questions were embarrassing I would you were BU. But they seem quite harmless and fun. Is she usually this sensitive? pre wedding nerves can make people over react to things.

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