to be quite excited DH is going away for a week?

(141 Posts)
LeggyBlondeNE Thu 18-Feb-16 10:40:48

Because I am. He's just given me his full travel itinerary and I'm actually both giddy with excitement and kinda disappointed I'm not going to get a full weekend to 'myself' as part of it.

Don't get me wrong, I quite like him most of the time. But I love these weeks where it's just me and the kids - I can cook couscous and veg for tea and no one complains they're being starved; I can sit and write of an evening and no one complains they're being ignored; I can spend Saturday going to the supermarket and doing jobs round the house while the kids play with no one complaining that it's boring; I can have a friend over for coffee (while the kids still play) and no one complains that it's intruding on family time.

The short version is that although DH and I make for excellent dinner partners and have an awesome time when we're off on our own together, our expectations of family domesticity are wildly different (none of which was remotely obvious before we had kids).

And so I'm super excited and I can't tell anyone because he'd only get upset.

But only three sleeps!

LeggyBlondeNE Thu 18-Feb-16 10:42:50

Damn, have just remembered that my mum mentioned coming up for a couple of days midweek.

My blissful week isn't quite the stretch of me-time in the evenings I'd been imagining. I can persuade her to only stay one night, right?

MaidOfStars Thu 18-Feb-16 10:42:54

I couldn't do it week in week out but I do love the occasional time apart.

A few weeks ago, my husband cancelled a weekend away and I was unreasonably grumpy! I felt robbed!

murmuration Thu 18-Feb-16 10:49:00

A whole week! I am currently pushing to get DH to go on the trip this weekend he's been thinking about. The same here - I love DH, but sometimes I'd just like some time with DD and me.

MyPantsAreGreen Thu 18-Feb-16 10:56:26

I can sympathise. My husband only goes away for a night at a time very occasionally but I really look forward to eating beans on toast in front of the tv and going to bed when I feel like without being made to feel guilty because I would rather sleep than watch netflix! I also get the weekend thing - however I can forgive my husband a little on that front, when he works so hard at work he wants the weekend to be about 'family fun' time to compensate for what he feels he has missed during the working week. I totally get that whole disparity between what the aims of the family time are - my kids love nothing better than playing in the garden in their pyjamas on a Saturday morning (while we can read the paper or I can do jobs) whereas my husband used to see that as a waste. He would prefer that we are charging around doing day trips! It's the playing in the garden they will remember much more than numerous family days out. I love being with him one to one but our differing aims for family time and the pressure to be 'having fun together' is waring.

Jjou Thu 18-Feb-16 10:57:53

YANBU, I love it when DH has to go away with work. I can potter around, sort the kids out, everyone can have easy pasta for tea without moaning and I can do what I want in the evening without cries of neglect. Plus the whole bed to myself and nobody snoring: bliss!

FoxFeatures Thu 18-Feb-16 10:59:48

I used to feel as you do. Now my DH is away all week and only back at weekends. I miss him.

IceRoadDucker Thu 18-Feb-16 11:00:38

I love it when mine is away. He went to his home country for a month and it was heaven, AND I appreciated him more when he returned so win-win.

Ideally I would like to live in adjoining houses where we spend time together by appointment. grin

LeggyBlondeNE Thu 18-Feb-16 11:05:01

Oh god Pants - the 'must be fun day trips' thing, yes he's just the same. And we both work fulltime so it's not like I'm having lots of fun with the kids while he's slaving away in the office. (He loves his job, I love mine, no one's slaving anyway!)

I blame FIL - the man's like a pied piper fun factory for kids, so DH thinks his whole childhood was constant excitement and clearly doesn't remember that most of it took place in the garden while his mum hung out the washing.

LeggyBlondeNE Thu 18-Feb-16 11:07:16

IceRoad - I have suggested to DH that we get him a little bedsit that's all his ... he didn't take the idea very seriously sadly. grin

KC225 Thu 18-Feb-16 11:13:00

Like Maid says. Wouldn't want to or couldn't do it all the time but time apart to potter about is fab and healthy. I am suspicious of couples joined at the hip who share every breath and thought.

Recent time on my own included me spending two hours on the phone talking complete shite to one of my best friends, watching back to back episodes of Ru Pauls Drag Race on Netflix and looking up the merits of standard poodles as a family pet for two hours on Google.

I am away next week to visit elderly mother. DH is planning to watch Better Call Saul and taking the kids out for a budger instead of cooking (kids grassed him up on that one).

Enjoy. Remember happy wife, happy life

Titsywoo Thu 18-Feb-16 11:14:27

Yeah I used to love it but now it is once a month for a week and I am sick of it.

Enjoy though - I do like having full control of the remote grin

Titsywoo Thu 18-Feb-16 11:15:57

Ha ha KC that's what my DH always says "Happy wife, happy life" grin. I such a nagger wink

Apathyisthenewblah Thu 18-Feb-16 11:16:56

I get pretty excited when I get to travel for work. A whole bed just for me and an uninterrupted night of sleep!
DD is still a crap sleeper so the person left at home is usually a bit sleep deprived.

mizu Thu 18-Feb-16 11:18:51

Totally get it!

Love time on my own - or just with DDs.

DH recently went back to his home country for 2 weeks and it was lovely. grin

LumpySpacedPrincess Thu 18-Feb-16 11:22:25

I get it and I love dh to bits. He works away and I listen to the radio, write, read and enjoy not having to interact with anyone. I am an introvert and really value time spent alone.

Margie32 Thu 18-Feb-16 11:26:56

So happy to read your post Leggy - I thought it was just me!

DH is a full meal sat at the table with wine and dessert every night person - when he's away I have cheese on toast in front of the TV and it's heaven! Plus the house is always less messy and easier to keep clean when he's away - I always blamed the DCs for the mess but I realize that it's not just them!

Ice - love your adjoining houses idea, that's my idea of the perfect living situation!

EssentialHummus Thu 18-Feb-16 11:35:13

Oh God YANBU! No DC here, but when DP is away I am usually to be found either 1) in front of Come Dine with a Chinese takeaway at 5pm or 2) ploughing through work and not feeling guilty that DP is alone or lonely.

I'm not sure I'd want it more often, but the current schedule of 1 week away every 2 months or so does wonders for me!

zeetea Thu 18-Feb-16 11:43:43

Gosh I love it too, eat whatever I want (mushrooms mostly, dh hates mushrooms) watch awful romcoms, potter about without interruption, and spread out in the bed.
Love him to bits of course, but I enjoy time to myself when he's away with the lads smile

BaryMerry Thu 18-Feb-16 11:48:14

YADNBU! My DH hardly ever travels away for a few days at at time, but he does do the occasional weekend (an annual thing, coming up in March yippee!) and also will sometimes play drums for shows, pantos etc so can be out every evening for a week - I love this but would never tell him.

I'm a firm believer in couples needing time apart to appreciate each other better grin

I'm also glad I'm not the only one who wishes for PJ days on Saturdays! My kids love hanging out in their pyjamas until lunchtime and hate being rushed off to get dressed at the weekends. We rush about every morning during the week so I hate doing it on a Saturday if we have to get out of the house for some kind of day out. But if we're hanging about at home too much DH tends to appear at lunchtime looking miffed and demanding to know 'what we are doing today' hmm Unfortunately wearing pyjamas/reading the newspaper/pottering in the garden while the kids play is not always an acceptable answer...

MaureenMLove Thu 18-Feb-16 11:49:17

Me too!, me too!

DH does scuba diving as a hobby/instructor, so he is away one in four weekends from March to October. I can not wait for 4th March! He's been getting under my feet since the end of October and it's getting a bit tiresome!

Savagebeauty Thu 18-Feb-16 11:55:17

I loved it. And the joy of him playing golf all weekend.
Even better when we divorced wink

Sgtmajormummy Thu 18-Feb-16 11:59:45

I think it's the reduction in how considerate I have to be that I enjoy.

Just knowing that I can leave the bedroom/bathroom/living space in whatever mess I like and clean it up just before he comes back is a huge relief. I also get trashy films to watch and eat freezer food with the DC.

But the lack of grown-up company starts to pall after about 3 days. He gets a serious monologue from me about all the thing I've been musing over while he's away. Soul mates and all that...

ClaraLane Thu 18-Feb-16 12:21:28

I feel the same! DP works late on Monday and Thursday so he leaves for work as I arrive home and I love having the evening to myself to have a bath and watch my TV programmes without him wanting to play on the PS4 or watching something he wants to watch. Last week both of his late shifts were cancelled and I really missed my "me" time. Can't wait for my cullen skink soup tonight and back to back episodes of Pretty Little Liars!

helenahandbag Thu 18-Feb-16 12:23:41

I would love it if DP went away for a few days! He was on nights in the run up to Christmas (postman, was in the mail centre) and it was blissful to have my evenings to myself grin

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