Moving house and schools

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Wibu to change ds school?

The situation is we are going to be moving house at some point. We need a bigger house and so with that want to move to a better area as we are in a position to do so now. We know where we want to live in a nearby town which will be a much nicer and safer place to grow up. Closer to dh work too meaning more family time.

Ds is happily settled into a Primary school here, year 4. He loves it, he's doing well there, he does not want to change schools. The teachers absolutely love him and sing his praises and he seems to be friends with everyone, lots of party invitations but he doesn't seem to have made a best friend though and I think he's only ever been to a friends house once.

I'm thinking that we time the house move to coincide with him going to secondary school. I know this might be easier said but I don't mind travelling with him for a few months.

People are telling me it's no big deal to move him now and that he will make friends to go up to the local secondary school with in new area.

He's very sociable and kind but he's quite sensitive and hates any change at all.

I don't know what would be more disruptive, to move him in Primary or to go into year in a new area.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

That was supposed to say go into year 7 in a new place.

[LilacAndLovely]

We'll be in a similar situation next year.

We're planning on moving next Spring and the dc will be in Years 4 and 2. Their current school is near both dh's and my workplace (and our current house). Our new house will be about a 25 minute drive away and they will without question be going to a different secondary to their friends (as that's one of the main reasons for our move).

We will move next year but have decided to leave them at their current primary until they each reach Year 6.

At their current primary, there are two equally distant secondaries and the kids tend to split pretty much 50/50 between them, so the class won't be moving en masse to the same secondary anyway...so we see it as less of a big change for the dc.

Also, Ds1 is already mentioning some of the things he can't wait until years 5 or 6 for, like the extra swimming lessons, a particular class trip, the big 'leaving disco' - and I really want him to see those things out with the friends he has had since age 3 and not a group of kids he's only known for 2 years iyswim?

[LilacAndLovely]

He's very sociable and kind but he's quite sensitive and hates any change at all

And this describes my ds1 to a tee as well. When we've mentioned moving in the past he's become instantly anxious at the thought of leaving his primary school. I don't want to put him through it, I don't want to make him change.

The end of Year 6 signals a change of school anyway and he feels no anxiety about not going to the same one as his current friends. I've promised him that when he's in Year 6 we'll buy him his own mobile, so he can take all his friends numbers to keep in touch and arrange meet ups etc - he's more than happy with this.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Well we live in a city and ds class will likely be divided amongst several secondary schools.

But, the town we are looking to move to is smaller so likely friendship groups going up together.

[LilacAndLovely]

It's the same with us...the new secondary is much more on the outskirts of our city and there are no other secondaries near to it, so the other schools will be moving up to the new secondary together.

We'll already have been living in the area (touch wood) for about 2.5 years by the time ds1 goes into Year 7. So although he won't have been in any of the same Primarys as his new classmates, we plan on getting him into some local clubs run by some of the Primary's - football and cubs and the like where he'll hopefully meet dc his age that will be going to the same Comp.

[SavoyCabbage]

I've just done both of these things!

I moved when one dd was in year four and the other in year seven. Neither of them know anyone in the new schools.

The oldest definitely settled in quicker. However she was completely terrified for about a month before hand and it could have gone both ways I think. A lot depended on who the school paired her up with on that first day.

Also, I had enrolled her in a few different things in the six months before we moved where she did not know anyone, which gave her confidence.

My younger dd was out of school for three months as there was no place anywhere. Despite us living in the middle of nowhere. She has settled in well but she doesn't have the same sense of belonging that dd1 has as she is joining in with children who have been there years.

I just don't think you can predict how it's going to go. There are so many variables.