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AIBU?

To dispair that they won't sit still at the table.

25 replies

Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 12:33

It is driving me crazy watching them squirm around, standing up, flopping off their chairs,leaning on each other, leaning on the table etc etc etc.
They are 6 and 3 (nearly 4). I find myself constantly nagging them which makes everyone miserable.
Took them out to eat last night (only Pizza Hut) and they were the same. Itnwas embarrassing.
This is in addition to the near constant squabbling and winding each other.
AIBU to nail them to their seats or put them back in booster seats at the least?

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Girlwhowearsglasses · 13/02/2016 12:49

Get some old Trip Trapp chairs. Mine are 9, 7, 7 and still use them. DS1 has adhd and he will be performing acrobatics in a normal chair. At least he's the right height and can't rock the chair back in the Trip Trapp

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MattDillonsPants · 13/02/2016 12:56

Don't put them in high chairs! That will snothing

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Cressandra · 13/02/2016 13:04

You could try putting a normal cushion under them, get them to sit back on their chair and tuck them well under. And separate them, or at least threaten to if they don't leave each other alone.

The 3yo is still very little.

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Tokelau · 13/02/2016 13:04

Trip trapps aren't high chairs. We had them for our DC and they used them until they were about 12. You position the seat at the right height for the child to sit at the table, and there is a foot rest, which can be used if their feet dangle. We found them excellent, and the DC found them much more comfortable than a normal chair.

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littledrummergirl · 13/02/2016 13:09

Flopping, and leaning wouldn't bother me in a restaurant. Shouting, screaming, running around and throwing things would hack me off.
It doesn't sound too bad to me. Grin

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AliceInUnderpants · 13/02/2016 13:10

Have you tried a www.google.co.uk/search?q=wobble+cushion&oq=wobble+cushion&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.3282j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=0&ie=UTF-8#q=wobble+cushion&tbm=shopwobble cushion]]? They can help with any sensory issues that may be causing fidgeting and moving around in their seat.

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Janeymoo50 · 13/02/2016 13:20

It could simply be they are uncomfortable (if you see what I mean), hence the fidgeting, restlessness. Can they sit across from each other, might stop the leaning on each other.

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deregistered · 13/02/2016 13:27

Sound like completely normal young kids to me. As long as they are not running around or kicking someone's chair or yelling who cares?

I think we need to remember that for most kids going out to eat is not the big treat we feel it is as adults. My kids hated going to restaurants as they couldn't be arsed to actually spend precious time eating! But we dragged them along because we wanted a nice meal and to drink wine

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TubbyTabby · 13/02/2016 13:30

The 6 year old should have more sense but 3 is pretty young to sit still in a restaurant. Maybe they're both just not ready for restaurants at the moment.

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BertieBotts · 13/02/2016 13:34

3 is too young. Totally normal for them to move around (they should be prevented from actually running around).

My 7 year old won't sit still but we do try. I think 6 or 7 is old enough to sit still. It might be that the 6yo is being influenced to act less mature by the younger one.

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Cressandra · 13/02/2016 13:38

I think also this is obviously pushing your buttons, but it sounds pretty normal.

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Girlwhowearsglasses · 13/02/2016 13:40

Yes, Trip Trapp deffo not just for babies. Having somewhere for your feet to go is really helpful, as is even a slightly raised seat. This is how ours is set up for DS1 (9). With a wobble cushion too. The seat is only a tiny bit higher than normal now. When he sits on a normal chair it's torture

To dispair that they won't sit still at the table.
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elspethmcgillicuddy · 13/02/2016 13:44

Sticker chart. I do this every so often for a few weeks when their (usually mealtime) behaviour gets to me. It works a treat. We also have a '3 strikes and you are out' policy for getting up from chairs. If they get out then they have a brief time out. They are the same age as your DCs.

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Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 13:49

Oh good-I'm relieved to hear it doesn't sound out of the ordinary.
Tripp trapps are too pricey really-even second hand as far as I can see.
I will look into the wobble cushions though and reassess the existing cushions.
No they weren't running around in Pizza Hut although they took plenty of opportunities to visit the unlimited salad bit which added to the general wriggliness.

Yes, it pushes my buttons and they know it. By all accounts they are much better all round when I'm not there!

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Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/02/2016 13:53

Said with respect, but I think you're expecting a tad too much. Yes its lovely that youre instilling manners and ettiquitte but you have to be realistic. They're 3 and 6. Not 13 and 16. They're not going to have impeccable manners. The 3 year old especially.
The only thing I hate to see is children running around in restaurants/cafes, due to the danger and risk of hot food/drinks spilling on them.

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Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 13:55

Honestly? I'm surprised at these responses (but relieved as I say). I will chill out a bit which will hopefully make everyone a bit happier!

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deregistered · 13/02/2016 13:58

Also Wandering, I'm sure you already do this, but we did constant quizzes over dinner for them to keep them sitting still and occupied. Take it turns so they have different questions though or more fights will ensue! So for the three year old 'what colour are frogs' for the six year old 'Name one city in America' or whatever. It did really help!

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Gatehouse77 · 13/02/2016 14:03

Tripp Trapp chairs are meant to 'grow' with the child. My teenagers still use theirs. One without the high chair backing but the the other two like them for the support it gives their back.

I have, on rare occasions, removed their chairs and made them stand at the table. Rare because they soon realised they preferred to be sitting!

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Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 14:10

Deregistered-they love quizzes in the car so might try that. I must admit we can get into a negative cycle at mealtimes where we keep nagging them to eat, eat nicely, sit nicely, talk nicely. They must get fed up.
I occasionally put the tv on if everyone's had a long tiring day and things are much calmer.

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Quoteunquote · 13/02/2016 14:12

We had a thing when the DC were little , that if they had perfect table manners at home for a week or so, then we would go out for a meal, because only people with perfect table manners were allowed in restaurants.

It worked really well, still does.

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Wolfiefan · 13/02/2016 14:13

We always take a bag of small toys, colouring, top trumps etc. I expect my kids to sit still to eat. It's the waiting for food in a restaurant they find boring.

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memyselfandaye · 13/02/2016 14:16

Pick your battles! Running around screaming and not touching the food you paid for would be a problem, wriggling and winding each other up, not so much.

Mine never sits still, but he's 5, and sitting still is SOOO BORING AND RUBBISH (his words)

Relax and enjoy your food, let them get on with it.

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sn1ce · 13/02/2016 14:20

I found having the radio on at mealtimes helped as a distraction, singing along to songs together made it a more enjoyable business for everyone

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Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 14:22

They're actually pretty good at waiting for food when out-they will sit and colour for a decent amount of time. It's the actual eating that seems to prompt the fidgeting and it takes twice as long to finish meal as a result.

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Wanderingwondering · 13/02/2016 14:23

Oh yes-radio is good idea-not as intrusive as the tv. I wonder if a story cd might also be quite calming if we're not eating with them (we usually do)

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