To consider another baby after demon child and PND

(8 Posts)
Cake0rdeath Fri 12-Feb-16 22:28:53

Long story short is that I'm getting broody.

Can't quite believe it as I vowed that after DS that was it. First pregnancy was shit.

He's been a nightmare from the get-go; severe feeding issues, severe reflux, allergies etc. led to no sleep. Hes great fun now but it's taken 2 years to get to the point where he's sleeping through and more happy because he can express himself. Food is still a mammoth issue, but I've now accepting it's baby steps.

I had severe PND with DS (think psychologist involvement). Couldn't eat or sleep (even when I got a few free hours) and was a general mess. I've only been off the meds for 6 months and things seem to be back to normal.

Lots of friends are getting pregnant or having their second and I've been cuddling lots of babies lately. Even though a close friend has just had a baby who isn't sleeping and she's struggling, I can't shift the idea that another baby would be lovely.

I think I could cope with another mental baby-been there, done tha and I can't see how anything can be worse than DS (tempting fate). I am, however, petrified of the PND returning. DS would be 3-4 if I was lucky enough to have another and I can't check out like I did last time-he needs his mum and I'm scared I won't be able to be a proper mum to him.

Has anyone experience of this? Please share your (hopefully positive!) stories

Mistigri Fri 12-Feb-16 22:37:41

I didn't have PND but my first was a very difficult non-sleeping, non-eating, allergic, demanding baby. Swore never again and gave away all the baby things, then got pg again unexpectedly when DD was about 12 months. If I hadnt got pg accidentally I doubt there would ever have been another, as DD didn't really get much easier until she was about 10!

Baby 2 was very different though - still not a great sleeper, but unlike his sister at least he napped so I got a break in the day, and he was generally a much happier, more chilled out and less frustrated baby.

idiuntno57 Fri 12-Feb-16 23:06:55

I had PND after all 3 pregnancies. The knowledge that this was likely didn't stop me and although the first few years were very difficult I am so very happy now (oldest DC now 10, youngest 6).

I say if you want to go for it but prepare yourself. See the GP, get registered with perinatal team and plan support. You may be lucky enough not to need it but it may make a big difference if you do.

cocochanel21 Sat 13-Feb-16 00:28:51

I didn't have PND. I had my first child when I was 15 it was a total shock and very difficult time. Never wanted another child was happy with DD. Met DH 10yrs ago he also had DCS, so we were both happy not to have any more. Last year I fell pregnant unplanned shock. It was a very stressful time as I suffered a breveament while pregnant and it really affected me.
DD2 is now 11wks and the most chilled out happy baby who loves her sleep. Just as well cause at 38 I've definitely not got the same energy as I did last timesmile. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Rainbowlou1 Sat 13-Feb-16 00:32:18

My son was my 2nd baby and he was a nightmare sleeper, had medical stuff going on requiring surgery and I also had pnd...I would love to have another but not in position to have one-otherwise yes!it wouldn't put me off at all xx

JeremyZackHunt Sat 13-Feb-16 00:36:30

First one was a doddle. Bringing home the next one was a shock. Non sleeping refluxy time and PND. A rocky ride at times but worth it. I cried a lot about ruining their lives but they seem remarkably fond of me smile
You might get the chilled happy sleeping baby this time!

TheDetective Sat 13-Feb-16 00:51:06

My 2nd child sounds just like yours. Same issues.

I went on to have a 3rd child. He's 8 months now. He's pretty much a dream baby. No issues at all. Totally chilled out.

And what is more, I've been on my own since early pregnancy with him.

You are stronger than you can ever know. If you want another child, do it. I'd rather regret the things I've done, than regret the chances I passed up.

squeezed Sun 14-Feb-16 09:57:18

My first pregnancy was a walk in the park compared to this one. If I'd known how difficult this one would be, I don't think I would have contemplated it. The problem is that you don't know how easy or difficult the pregnancy or baby will be. What you can do is prepare, such as putting in mental health support as early as possible. I was told by the consultant that I'm unlikely to have pnd but I keep onto of my mental health every day.

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