Fully prepared to be told I’m BU here. Brief background – I hate birthdays, I don’t really get the point of adults making a big song and dance for their birthday. Obviously that’s a very personal opinion and I’m always happy to help other people celebrate, I just hate it for myself. Usually for my birthday we just have a meal out with the kids and that’s it.
This is the year of the 40ths for myself and all my friends. DH loves birthdays and has been putting the hard word on me to have a party for mine. I’ve conceded a bit, and have loosely agreed to organising some drinks with my group of friends. The issue is that one of my oldest friends has her birthday a few days before mine (also her 40th), so we need to coordinate dates. Ages ago we agreed that she would have one Saturday, and I’d do something for mine on the following Saturday. I’m away the weekend before her agreed date, and the weekend following mine is a holiday weekend so most people will be away.
She’s just told me that she now has a whole family weekend away planned for her agreed date to celebrate her birthday, so wants to have a friends lunch on the Sunday on my weekend, so would be the day after my drinks. 80% of my guest list would also be invited to her lunch. Doing something combined is not an option – both of us would hate that and was vetoed ages ago.
Given that I hate birthdays and was already feeling very uncomfortable about the whole thing, would it be unreasonable of me just to chuck the towel in and tell her to take that Saturday night instead? She has said she could do a date a couple of weeks later, but that would be nearly a month after her actual birthday.
So I’m not accused of drip feeding later, there is history with birthdays between us. Many of mine in our 20s went by completely unacknowledged by her (despite me making an effort for hers), and I’ve had shitty experiences in the past with trying to arrange things but then it all just turning to custard. Hence my dislike of the whole concept of them now. There will be a lot of pressure from various people to do something, but this has just left a bad taste in my mouth.
Fuck, this is long. Sorry.
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AIBU?
Birthday AIBU
15 replies
GinSolvesEverything · 12/02/2016 00:03
OP posts:
Maryz ·
12/02/2016 00:06
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