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AIBU?

To decline a date because of beard?

70 replies

LeaLeander · 09/02/2016 18:50

My hair stylist has been trying for ages to fix me up with her accountant. Yesterday while she was there discussing her taxes, she texted and asked me if she might give him my phone number. I said OK.

Then she texted me some photos she took on her phone (with his knowledge) of photos that he had framed in his office, of himself on vacation and doing the hobby she thought we would have in common.

He's OK, I guess, but the thing is he sports a balding head (nothing I can balk at at my age, 50ish, LOL) and a substantial white beard. I cannot stand kissing men with facial hair of any kind and beards of this length always make me wonder about hygiene.

It looks like it's his style, not just a beard he grew while not wanting to shave on holiday or what have you. I know my taste won't change, no matter how pleasant his personality may be. The mad professor with long white beard is never going to turn me on.

He's already called and left a message. I haven't replied. To be clear I am always open to making a new friend and would not consider it time wasted to have a couple of drinks with him to discuss hobby. But people these days seem to attach so much import to a casual date. Would I be wrong to accept knowing it's unlikely that physical attraction would ever result down the line? My work is super busy now and presumably so is his in tax season. Plenty of plausible reasons to worm out.

OP posts:

Report

EatShitDerek · 09/02/2016 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 09/02/2016 18:52

It's not my thing either and would be something hard to ignore. Don't meet him if you don't intend to maybe have a relationship with him.

Chippednailvarnish · 09/02/2016 18:52

Substantial white beard?
Is he Santa?

WileHallion · 09/02/2016 18:52

YANBU.

I turn down dates with anyone who doesn't have a beard so totally get it. Preference innit.

ClashCityRocker · 09/02/2016 18:53

If you do go for it, I know a poem you can use to woo him....

WileHallion · 09/02/2016 18:54

Clash

OTheHugeManatee · 09/02/2016 18:55

If he lives in the North and has a 'very seasonal job' beware, you could find your back garden full of reindeer poo before you know it

WitchWay · 09/02/2016 18:56

I'd meet him. You don't have to jump on him

Wombatinabathhat · 09/02/2016 18:57

lol at Clash
Beards are not for me either

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 09/02/2016 18:58

What if he's the most amazing person and you're being silly over some facial hair?

daisychain01 · 09/02/2016 19:00

Eek Lea I'm with you on the beard thing. Just not keen. Weirdly I do like a nicely shaped moustache ...

Could you go along just for the first date, to see if the person behind the face fungus hair is a lovely human being?

LetThereBeCupcakes · 09/02/2016 19:01

If it's just a case of not being overly keen, I'd still go. Get to know him a bit, you never know, he may shave it off, or you might really hit it off and decide you can live with it, or you might make a new friend.

If you're like me, and are actually very nervous about facial hair, then totally understandable to pass. You might have to fess up to your hair dresser though!

remembermewhen · 09/02/2016 19:03

Bald & beard = head on upside down so it's a no from me.
Beards creep me out.
YANBU!

MrsToddsShortcut · 09/02/2016 19:07

He has framed photos of himself in his office 'doing his hobby' And a big Santa beard? Is he Dickie Attenborough by any chance?

Seriously, he's probably very nice. You could just go along and meet for a drink and if you don't detect a spark, just leave it. Or just not go but then you risk ending up in a hideous situation with your hairdresser where you keep making excuses. Or you confess that you were happy to date until you spotted the beard (I wouldn't say this, it'll sound awful) or you just change hairdressers!

It's worth noting that a pretty sexy boyfriend I had years ago, who was fantastic in bed and very lovely, now rocks a completely bald head and humongous great white beard.(but is married and not in finance!) Just sayin...

Good luck, whatever you do.

deregistered · 09/02/2016 19:09

clash

Icanseeclearly · 09/02/2016 19:10

I hate beards, well I did but dp has a full beard. I got to know him and the beard didn't matter at all. He's all the things I want in a partner and, somehow, the beard is just part of it. I still look at other beards the same way though so it's not a taste change as such.

What I'm saying is, if you think other things may work, have a drink or something. It may not work - but them maybe it will.

x2boys · 09/02/2016 19:11

Oh god Derek your not in to those big bushy oh so fashionable beards that loads of men sport right now are you.

Duckdeamon · 09/02/2016 19:19

Please go, if only to report back to MN!

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2016 19:23

Yes, say you are too busy. I don't like beards either. Bit of stubble fine but proper hair nooooo.

SpotOn · 09/02/2016 19:33

What's the hobby? Deep sea fishing? He sounds like Captain Birdseye.

vvviola · 09/02/2016 19:40

I came on to say the exact same thing as Icanseeclearly. Before meeting DH, I never would have agreed to go on a date with someone with facial hair. And then DH turned up in my local one night and was all charming and clever and Kiwi. Over the next few dates he only proceeded to get more charming and cleverer. We've been married for nearly 9 years.

And yet, if you asked me to name men/celebrities I find attractive, none of them have beards.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2016 19:42

Yuk. Decline. And don't feel bad!

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LeaLeander · 09/02/2016 19:47

Thank you for the input. I am pleased to go for a drink and it will stop my hairdresser from hounding me. And I do honestly think some men look great with beards, this one seems to suit him. It's the thought of touching it that makes my skin crawl. Of course I would never let on, but can't help how I feel.

Will return his call this evening after work and see how he sounds. It's so rare around here to find a single man willing to date a woman his own age instead of 20 years younger. He seemed to like my looks after (to my horror) hairstylist Googled me for him. At least that is what she said. The professional photos of me that pop up on a Google search are not exactly flattering or alluring. The thought sprang to mind "Did he just get released from prison or something?!" LOL.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 09/02/2016 19:49

'Of course I would never let on, but can't help how I feel. '

Why on Earth not? 'Oh, I'm sure he's really lovely, but I'm just not that into guys with big beards. Thanks, but I'll pass.'

Birdsgottafly · 09/02/2016 19:55

I'm OLD and i don't 'do' beards.

I also like stocky men. I've got to be sexually attracted to someone.

I'd give him a miss.

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