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AIBU?

6 year old quitting team

13 replies

superzero · 06/02/2016 10:44

6 year old DS joined a 5 aside football team in the summer,practice is 1x per week,matches every Saturday.He likes football,is not bad,but hates playing outside in the winter and is now refusing to join in.He does get cold & we have tried all sorts of clothes to keep warm.It is bloody freezing but the other boys are happy running around.He says it is just the weather,not football itself.Should I just stop going and drop out of the team or should I get him to persevere through the winter?It is upsetting to watch him being so unenthusiastic but I also feel that he has committed to a team and should persevere until it's warmer and more fun.I'm also worried that if he doesn't go he'll get left behind and it will be harder to get into a team later if he changes his mind.He is only 6 though.What would you do?

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LilacAndLovely · 06/02/2016 10:54

What are you dressing him in op?

Mine are 5 (nearly 6) and 8 and play football in cold weather. They have a full set of 'proper' skins - full length legging-type bottoms and a long sleeved top - that go under their football kit. Then they wear gloves and a thick hat that covers their ears. In between matches or when they're hanging around as a sub they put their coat on.

It took me a while to find the right skins though and they weren't cheap. I bought a set online at first and they did nothing at all to keep them warm. They need to be fairly thick (but smooth), and designed to not soak up sweat or even in dry weather they'll get damp and cold.

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Narp · 06/02/2016 11:00

He's 6. He's allowed to give it up, IMO

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superzero · 06/02/2016 11:03

Thanks lilacandlovely , he has skins ,and even took a layer off last time just but didn't seem interested and said was fed up with the wind.I'm just worried he doesn't like it enough .Was your 8 year old ever like this or has he also wanted to go?

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Ickythumpsmum · 06/02/2016 11:06

I'd probably let him stop if he hated football, but if he is sure he likes football then I would tell him that playing in the cold is part of playing football where you live and make him get on with it. I'd try and get him to see that having some discomfort is ok if he's doing something he loves.

Not easy though. My 6 year old didn't enjoy football and wanted to leave the team. I spoke to the coach and we agreed on a suitable time my son could leave the team that wouldn't upset the coaches planning. The coach was great and I think my son did another 6 weeks after we decided he was stopping. I think just stopping out of the blue would be unfair on the team / coach.

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Narp · 06/02/2016 11:10

When my two were this age I used to worry a lot about what activities they were or weren't doing and whether it's oK for them to stop. Tied myself in knots (I am not saying you are like this op).But what I have realised (they are teens now) is that as long as you are not throwing money away, and as long as you allow them to try things, they'll freely choose what they want to do when they are a bit older.

I think if he really loved it, he'd persist.

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LilacAndLovely · 06/02/2016 11:16

Both of mine moan on a cold drizzly Sunday morning that they don't feel like it, but I've always 'made' them go and within 5 minutes of being there they're generally happy they made the effort. I think that's more to do with Sunday morning laziness though as they're both very into football and would be horrified at the thought of not going generally.

If you have all the right kit and he's still not enthusiastic, i'd let him stop op and have a look at a different activity he can do indoors. Maybe it's just not his thing - if the activity itself interested him enough he'd want to do it regardless of the weather.

In a few months, if he wants to join in again with the summer football then i'd let him, but only if he's happy to commit to the team - i'd let him know that starting in summer means he carries on through that winter too.

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starry0ne · 06/02/2016 12:13

I would stop... At 6 if they aren't enjoying it whats the point...

I always think the control a child has at 6.. they should control what there hobbies are...

If he is unenthusiastic surely the team will be glad if he drops out.

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Jollyphonics · 06/02/2016 12:43

I'd let him give up. He's only 6, and if he's consistently not enjoying it then there's no point in continuing.

DS1 half-heartedly liked football from about age 6 till age 9 - was happy to kick a ball around at the park, played with the other boys at school etc, but was never prepared to commit to a Saturday team. His friends were all in a Saturday team, but he didn't want to join. Then, when he was 9.5, he suddenly decided he loved football. He joined the same team his friends had been in for years, and has had no trouble catching up. He's chosen for all the matches, so starting late hasn't done him any harm. (he's not a football whizz at all, just keen).

So I don't think you need to worry about him losing skills if he wants to start again in a few months/years.

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Katenka · 06/02/2016 13:02

I would let him give up.

But I wouldn't let him start again when the weather is better.

It's a team sport, he can't be part of the team as and when he fancies

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Lurkedforever1 · 06/02/2016 15:33

Giving up football wouldn't concern me at all. But I wouldn't be keen on reinforcing the idea it's ok not to exercise outdoors cos it's cold. Is this just a thing about football or is he the same about playing out, going to the park, bike rides etc in winter?

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mintoil · 06/02/2016 15:52

Agree with PP no way would I force a six year old to take part in an activity they weren't into.

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whaleshark · 06/02/2016 15:57

I'd think that maybe football is not the sport for him, and try him with something he can do indoors instead. Not everyone likes being outside in all weathers. At that age I think it is good for them to be trying lots of different sports to see what they get on with anyway.

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superzero · 06/02/2016 16:24

lurked he does get cold easily even when in parks etc.He is a very active boy,already does 3 different sports and has asked to do judo and tennis as well.The football is the only team thing though which is why I'm hesitating to pull the plug just for the sake of few cold weeks.
Would free up lots of my time if he quits though and give more time to try these!
I think I needed some perspective on this and it's good to hear from mums of older boys that choices made at 6 don't matter much later in terms of catching up.