To not feel sorry for this man begging for money on the road

(206 Posts)
bellaSorela Thu 04-Feb-16 20:24:09

by the great Cambridge road and saw a man with a sign saying:
"I have no food or money, I have 2 children, I don't speak any English, please help me"

He was looking at us as we were the nearest car to him, my friend wanted to give him money and i said NO don't give him anything and she wanted me to give him the money as i was the driver and the man was on my side but i said no and drove off.
She thinks i was harsh for this but all i was thinking is, if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?

Do you think i'm wrong for this?

I'm the same with beggers in general, I use to give money but you give money to one the rest will come, like at my local shopping park which junkies have over taken, knocking on peoples windows for money when you are waiting to leave the car park because people are always giving them money now they harass everyone.

maybe i am harsh?

AlwaysHopeful1 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:30:56

I do think you were wrong in stopping your friend from giving him any money.

usual Thu 04-Feb-16 20:33:38

Yes you were wrong.

Battleshiphips2 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:33:59

I don't give money but I have bought food and a hot drink for homeless people before. It's hard to know what to do.

RudeElf Thu 04-Feb-16 20:36:54

I think youre ignorant.

Griphook Thu 04-Feb-16 20:39:53

Do you ever get think you could become homeless? If you lost your job? Or a family member was made redundant or unable to work?

Battleshiphips2 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:39:58

Sorry forgot to say yabu to stop your friend for giving him something. Everyone has got to make their own decisions. Plus you are unreasonably to say all I was thinking is, if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?

NerrSnerr Thu 04-Feb-16 20:41:07

Your friend can give money to who she wants. You're not her owner.

You sound lovely OP, full of empathy.

Believeitornot Thu 04-Feb-16 20:41:30

Yes you were wrong.

You do realise he's a human being? The same as you and I, he has needs, he gets hungry and he gets cold. As do other "beggars".

They're people. And yes some will be druggies but they're still people.

Flashbangandgone Thu 04-Feb-16 20:41:44

if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?

Have you even heard of Syria?

willowsummers Thu 04-Feb-16 20:44:19

I got told off for giving to a beggar once, by a policeman, to the amusement of one of my friends.

If the man is from Syria hmm he shouldn't really be out on the streets begging!

Mooey89 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:45:10

Assuming this is genuine, I'll humour you.

YABU.
For all of your post but a few highlights were: 'junkie' 'beggar' 'doesn't speak English'.

Hope are never hungry, OP.

Flashbangandgone Thu 04-Feb-16 20:46:14

Ps. I understand why you might feel giving money, but the fact you don't feel an ounce of sympathy and immediately judge him as being worthless is very sad, and I'm afraid you come across as small-minded, very ignorant and heartless.

SurferJet Thu 04-Feb-16 20:46:42

Yabu - seeing people sleeping rough on the streets actually makes me cry. It could happen to any of us.
& I don't care if they're addicts - that could be any of us too.

TiredOfIntolerance Thu 04-Feb-16 20:46:45

Why shouldn't he be here just because he doesn't speak English? There are English people all over the world who don't speak the language of the country they live in.

willowsummers Thu 04-Feb-16 20:49:13

I don't know about that, Flash

I read 'Stone Cold' (popular set texts in schools) as a teenager in the 90s and was horrified by the heartless attitudes showed my many towards the homeless.

Now, my attitude is probably pretty heartless on the surface at any rate. It isn't that I don't have compassion, but I feel that once someone is homeless, their problems are pretty vast and just can't be addressed with spare change. So I don't give.

I do feel sorry for them, but more about their lives in general to be honest, and I don't like people trying to tug on my heartstrings so that sign would probably have irritated me as well.

Potatoface2 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:49:31

went into car park, man parked next to me...walked to precinct....man from car park was sat begging outside McDs......he had a better car than me!.....so no you are not being unreasonable, there are lots of scammers about, some of them see it as a business....sad as it takes away from genuine people

ALaughAMinute Thu 04-Feb-16 20:49:45

I feel sorry for beggars because most of them have hit hard times and/or are mentally ill. I would buy them something to eat but I would never give them money because they might spend it on drink or drugs.

VinoTintoPorFavor Thu 04-Feb-16 20:49:46

She thinks i was harsh for this but all i was thinking is, if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?
Was that you trying to excuse yourself from being considered harsh? It doesn't - it makes you sound like a bigot.

Do you think i'm wrong for this?
Yes. Your friend can do what she wants with her money.

I don't like giving cash to beggars but they're human beings too and don't deserve people like you making assumptions and looking down on them.

ilovesooty Thu 04-Feb-16 20:52:53

You're free to have your (imo) ignorant attitude. Let your friend have the freedom to see things differently.

And I get heartily tired of seeing words like "junkies".

usual Thu 04-Feb-16 20:52:54

Have you watched the news at all recently?

You can't think of a reason why someone might be here and not br able to speak English?

Pseudonym99 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:53:17

He would probably spend any money on drink or drugs. If he is that desperate, there are charities which will help him. If anyone wants to help the homeless, give to the charities.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 04-Feb-16 20:55:20

You shouldnt have stopped your friend from giving money, if that's what she wanted to do with it. However.

Although personally I don't give money to street beggars. I give a fair amount to charity, but my chosen charities. I wouldn't give to anyone in that situation.

PurpleDaisies Thu 04-Feb-16 20:55:40

She thinks i was harsh for this but all i was thinking is, if you don't speak English and have no money, how and why are you here?

For having no sympathy at all for someone clearly living a very tough life on the streets, yes you were harsh.

RudeElf Thu 04-Feb-16 20:55:42

their problems are pretty vast and just can't be addressed with spare change

Not even hunger?

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