To stay in awful job because of loyalty?

(19 Posts)
flowersinpouringrain Sun 31-Jan-16 17:09:37

This may be long, bear with me.

My managers and colleagues are not just managers and colleagues but friends, I consider myself lucky to know some most of them!

Having said all that the actual job is pretty awful really, anti social hours, tiring and only a bit above minimum wage.

When I first got it I was in a bad place in my life and they didn't care and I soon became (sorry to blow my own trumpet) a really valued member of the team so a few months later when things were better for me I carried on helping out with shifts because they'd been so good to me and were short staffed.

But the problems are practically breeding. The job requires you to have a car yet there are loads of non drivers, because of the anti social hours it's expected drivers will pick them up/drop them off.

The clients are difficult and make a lot of trouble.

I'm so tired as the hours are a killer.

Yet if I leave I think they will really seriously struggle; they're struggling now TBH.

Is it stupidly unreasonable to stay because of kindness!?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 31-Jan-16 17:13:58

Yes, they can just hire more staff.

flowersinpouringrain Sun 31-Jan-16 17:14:48

They are recruiting but there's not much interest and they desperately need drivers.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 31-Jan-16 17:15:02

Find another job that is better for you.

It's nice to show loyalty of course but not when you're suffering and doing yourself a disservice.

HappyHeart87 Sun 31-Jan-16 17:15:51

Yes; I think if your colleagues are really your friends they will want what's best for you. It sounds horrid, unprofessional and exhausting, and I imagine that staying will just mean you become increasingly resentful.

I'd definitely move. It's not really about 'loyalty', it's about boundaries. Do you really want to keep yourself in a job where - even though you're obviously liked and appreciated - you're effectively being exploited?

ChalkHearts Sun 31-Jan-16 17:17:02

It sounds like if you stay they'll also struggle.

Out of loyalty I'd talk to them and see if you can negotiate something that makes the job good for you. Eg only working a sensible number of hours.

But if you talk to them and it can't be resolved it's not unfair to leave. It's their company, their dream, not yours.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 31-Jan-16 17:17:08

If they have a recruitment issue they should be trying to work out why

AlpacaLypse Sun 31-Jan-16 17:18:44

I've said this before on here, but I agree with pps, although it's lovely that you care about your co-workers and regard them as friends, ultimately your own health and prosperity have to come first.

If they are true friends they'll understand anyway.

Sounds like you're a peripatetic carer - soul destroying in current climate no matter which agency you're with.

FantasticButtocks Sun 31-Jan-16 17:20:59

You can't be responsible for all this! If they are a bit of a shambles, so much so that your leaving could make them struggle, then they will have to change and adapt and reorganise until they get things going more smoothly. You really need to allow yourself to put your own work-life at the top of your priority list, not the bottom. If the job doesn't suit you for several reasons which you can't change, then you need to find something more suitable. Try to make this decision less personal, this is work. They'll get over it.

BlueRaptor Sun 31-Jan-16 17:23:15

It's wrong to stay only for loyalty for them, but make sure it's really what you want.

I worked somewhere fairly small, 15 staff members total. All incredibly close, almost family like. Any one of us would and did do anything for another and it was far more than just colleague friendship. I left a year ago to pursue something else and only now am I starting to feel a little bit more settled in my job. I really struggled adjusting to the two faced, bitchyness that I was not at all used to. When my grandad passed away I spent most of the day at work (didn't want to stay at home moping!) in the managers office having a good old cry, with other staff popping in for a hug and to drop off tea and biscuits for me, they really really helped. Another family member passed away when in the new job, one person asked why I was quiet and when I said they were obviously uncomfortable and didn't know what to say.

By all means do what makes you happy just be aware of what you might loose if you do leave.

(I'm not trying to be negative by the way! Just that I've been in a similar position and had never thought about this before and may have reconsidered if I knew!)

theycallmemellojello Sun 31-Jan-16 17:28:49

Yep, staying out of loyalty is very unreasonable! It's a professional decision, you can still be friends with them. And if they find it difficult to replace you that's because they're not offering good enough terms of employment - that's the company's problem and fault, not yours.

flowersinpouringrain Sun 31-Jan-16 17:32:58

I know and agree with you NeedsASockAmnesty but it's the owner of the company really not the managers who have created the problems.

At the moment I do have another job but am still helping them out in anti social times.

JolseBaby Sun 31-Jan-16 18:17:34

I think you need to start stepping back gently - that way you aren't leaving them in the lurch at short notice. If they are genuinely friends then they will understand (and appreciate you stepping back gently rather then dumping them) and they will want what is best for you.

Rememberallball Thu 04-Feb-16 16:28:43

I'm in a similar situation in my job. They struggle to recruit staff and, those who have started recently, leave quickly as the hours are long but actually worked is often poor (can be out from 8-8 but only get paid for 6-7 hours work. Lots of late evenings, weekends and often being asked to cover calls that others have handed back - even on rare days off.

My DH is fed up with the hours I work compared to him yet earning substantially less than him who sits in an office all day on a help desk. They are recruiting at his company and, with tweaking my cv, I'd possibly get a job there working a similar number of hours a week but over 4 days and would earn about £10,000 pa more than at present!!

I am thinking about it but, at the same time, know my current employers would struggle to manage without me on the books as a full time employee. This makes me reluctant to move on even though I'd be better off for doing do.

tinofbiscuits Thu 04-Feb-16 17:16:01

Don't just stay out of loyalty. It may be that all your managers and colleagues would also leave if they had the chance!

CruCru Thu 04-Feb-16 18:15:47

Seriously? Please don't stay somewhere out of loyalty. If they found that they didn't need you, they would make you redundant - it wouldn't be personal, it would be a business decision. Similarly, if this isn't suiting you, you will need to move on.

amarmai Thu 04-Feb-16 19:44:00

smart buggers,eh! My dd had a we're your friends type boss. Was just a tricky way to get her to work extra hours without paying her and dump dangerous responsibility on a 15 yr old. But when they decided that the job she was promised at xmas holidays was going to another girl- surprise ! the friendliness had no more usefulness and was gone. Are they offering you a share of the profits? No? Look after yourself, op , as your ' friendly' bosses are NOT doing that.

redexpat Thu 04-Feb-16 20:06:19

Would they keep you on because of loyalty if the business got into trouble? Hell no!

As i said on a thread earlier today, channel Malcolm Tucker and shout NOMFUP (not my fucking problem) at yourself. Your managers job is to manage the workforce, so let them do just that.

hopelesslydevotedtoGu Thu 04-Feb-16 20:42:41

If the company didn't need you anymore they would fire you.

If the company valued it's employees it would treat and pay them well.

Your friends also have the option of applying for work elsewhere.

No wonder they are struggling to recruit.

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