to long to retire at not yet 60?

[toconclude]

Work at present is gruelling and getting more so. Due to its nature there is only really my current employer or similar others geographically further away and the pressure is on everywhere. I'm working 50+ hours a week at full whack - literally it never stops- plus commuting and we are losing staff hand over fist and unable to attract new ones, which of course means work is spread ever more thickly. We are on about one third strength. I've asked for part time but you can understand their answer [NO in giant letters] , in the circumstances.

DH has a decent occupational pension and another pension pot extra he saved, we could live modestly (no fancy holidays, old small car, second hand clothes - but we do that anyway) but sufficiently on it and I have a shedload of interests that don't cost much (or any) money, I'm certain I'd never be bored. BUT

-firstly what about the example to DS1, who is (no longer living at home and) toiling away at a job he's not that keen on either, but is looking for better? I don't want him to feel "huh, all right for some" plus of course the longer I work the more inheritance for him and brother.

-secondly DS2 has SN, we have been saving to buy him a modest flat in an inexpensive but safe area as realistically (I hate saying this but it's true, the job market is not in his favour) he won't be able to afford to buy or rent away from home - he would have no chance of social housing around here for decades, not SN enough for specialist housing, single so no points. We have maybe half the amount needed. Earning means continuing to save and continuing to not have to dip into pension pot.

• thirdly what if DH gets sick of my constant company - we've been married 31 years, so a bit unlikely, but I had a bad example of my mum being forced to stay with unpleasant dad because she had forfeited her pension contributions (the old married women's stamp arrangements) and was dependent on his. So the idea of being financially independent has been a security blanket for me.
  

Ready to have rocks thrown at me by people who can't even think about retiring (sister has already had a go), but there we are...

[wickedwaterwitch]

I don't think it's unreasonable - do it if it'll make you happy.

Ds1 can do what he likes when he's 60 it's your life!

[Dreamonastar]

No, I completely understand both your reasons for wanting to retire and your reasons for wanting to stay!

I wouldn't be too worried about the example set for your DS1; I think my concern would be your second son really - how far off are you from buying a flat?

[wickedwaterwitch]

I'm not intending to work for that much longer (I'm in my forties) and I don't really think it's anyone's business but mine and dh's

[Throwingshade]

I wouldn't but I'm not you.

I wouldn't worry at all about your first concern - setting a bad example to son.

I'd just make sure you were definitely financially secure and that you wouldn't get bored.

I'd be absolutely bored shitless even though I have hobbies, kids, big social life. But I love my career - you don't.

[Dreamonastar]

I hate to sound morbid, but I do think you could work yourself into an early grave as well.

If you put it to work that it was part time OR nothing would they be more amiable to part time, possibly?

[Iwanttokillthem]

Do it. I would love to be in your financial shoes but sadly will have to work many years before I qualify for the State pension.I dont have much of an occupational pension to come.

I'm sad that I wont have a 'lively' non working older life as I think I will be worn into the ground by the time I retire.

So do it while you can .

[P1nkP0ppy]

I am retiring, age 62, and like you I will have a very small income from pension pot.
My last job sounds very similar to yours. I cracked under the pressure and have been doing paid charity work for the last year. The funding for this post is ending.
I've come to the conclusion that I have loads of low-costing things I want to do, and now is the right time.

We've been married 42 years, DH still works, and we each have our own interests and hobbies as well as mutual interests.

My DSs were both pretty sarcastic but sod them, I've worked all my bloody life and want some freedom before I die!

[Viviennemary]

I think the answer here is not to retire completely but to do less hours in a different job you like more. Or set a limit of working for another year or two years and then think again. Unless you absolutely would be in financial dire straits there is no need for you to keep going indefinitely at this stressful job if you are unhappy. I wouldn't worry about your DS1. You've earned a break. More trickey is the DS2's situation. But some people would never be in a position to buy their child a flat. Look into other options like house share but I know that doesn't always work.

[MaisyMooMoo]

Life is too short and it's no ones business to dictate to you about your decision to retire. It's usually because they're jealous anyway.

I can fully understand your concerns about your son with SN. I wonder if perhaps you could get some financial advice that would help, perhaps release equity in your house to enable you to buy the other property. I think sorting that will give you peace of mind to proceed with your decision.

[P1nkP0ppy]

DSs being sisters, not children!

[magimedi]

I wouldn't worry about the 'constant company' aspect. DH has been retired for about 10 years & I stopped working about 6 years ago.

We make a big effort to do different things, have different friends & interests & even go away (more to visit friends and/or family than holidays) on our own. We've been married over 30 years & still don't find each other dull.

[ChalkHearts]

I agree with a PP who said quit this job then do a part time, less well paid, job if you just need a bit more money.

No reason to work to retirement age if you don't have to.

[specialsubject]

life is too short to kill yourself with a job. Resign. You could always do a different, less pressured and more fun job.

ignore playground jealousy about your financial position. And are you supposed to work until you drop because your elder son isn't yet able to stop? It doesn't work like that.

[PolovesTubbyCustard]

I am pretty much retired. Have been since I was 42.

Teenage DS who will be heading off to uni in autumn so not really a SAHM.

If I get restless I do a bit of temping. But currently am happy just doing housejold jobs and helping out DH a little with his books.

You should do exactly what you want to do.

Sounds like the only thing preventing you from retiring now would be buying the flay for DS2.

Howuch do you need? Could you make enough doing some parttime work in a less demanding role?

Life is short. No point in being miserable if you have an alternative,

[Babymamamama]

Go for it.

[namechange7711]

I agree with the others that you shouldn't feel guilty about retiring early if you can afford it. If you've been working 50+ hours pw, it'd probably be too much of a change to go down to nothing though. You might find that 3 days a week gives you enough of a break to recharge your batteries and enjoy your job when you are actually there.

So how about you go back to HR and say that your current role is unsustainable and you're going to start looking for PT jobs unless they accept your request for PT hours? Tell them you'll leave in 2 months unless it's been sorted?

[Xmasbaby11]

I'm not sure that I agree life is short. People are living longer and longer these days and personally I'd try to work til 65 if in reasonable health. All my grandparents lived to be 88 minimum, 101 maximum so that is a long retirement to fund!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Another option is to give yourself a fixed period to sort out your financial position e.g. Two years. For those two years you save hard and make plans such as part time options, savings and investments, adapting to a reduced income - then at the end of two years you can walk away knowing everything is organised.

[florentina1]

Is it at all a possible to give up your job and do part time work. That way you still have some income. It would also give you an idea about what it is like to spend more time with OH.

Also I would say do a budget. We were really surprised at how much cheaper life is when retired. May I ask how old you are?

[OzzieFem]

OP Life is uncertain. The media keeps portraying the fact that people are living longer etc. etc. Tell that to the people who have just got to retiring age after working hard and suddenly find themselves with the diagnosis of the dreaded "C" word.

I'm an ex-nurse and the amount of people dying in their sixties is not small. There is a big jump in the age group 65-69 for men and 75 onwards for women. This is the time when a lot of the elderly have planned to relax and take it slower, maybe travel a bit, then bingo, forget that, you need to come to hospital for regular treatment. Sad

If you can afford to retire or work part-time and really want to, then do so. You are right to be concerned about DH if you retire. He will have gotten used to being the one at home and will have his set routine. Any changes you try to make to that routine may cause conflict. Go out and make sure you do some activities solely for yourself and give DH some space if he needs it.

[Sorka]

YANBU.

I long to retire but I'm only in my 30s. I still have a way to go!

I agree with the other posters who say to go part-time, whether that's at your current job or elsewhere. How long is your commute? If you have a long commute on top of a 50+ hour a week job, I'm not surprised you want out.

It's lovely that you want to help DS2 out, though I wonder if giving him a large deposit for a flat would be enough for him to get on his feet if he's able to work?

[toconclude]

Thanks all. No, house share wouldn't work as Ds 2 has autism and can (love him dearly though we do) be a little challenging to live with at times. We have about another 50K to find, though in principle could take it out of DH pension pot if pressed. We don't mind him living with us as long as he likes but he badly wants independence (at 25, can't blame him). He is able to work (literate, numerate, IT savvy, motivated) but his social skills have not been up to securing a permanent role so far, sadly. Odd days here and there are fine if all regular expenses are met but the benefit system cannot work around them. We would need to provide a cash cushion too for bills etc.
I do know how privileged we are to be able to think about funding him whilst we are still alive, and sorry to anyone whom I may have offended/upset who are not in the same boat.
I'm nearly 55, DH much older, nearly 70 - though fit as a fiddle, much fitter than I am. It would be nearly all his money we'd live on as I had a long career break whilst he worked abroad a lot and I was main carer for DS2. I feel a bit guilty for potentially scrounging off DH too - which he says is silly, what's his is ours - "only not underpants". lol.
I'm going to make a formal request for compressed hours (working say nominally 40 hours [it'll be more but at least I would officially not have to come in every day] across 4 days a week) tomorrow, see if that flies. Commute varies, in principle it's only 30 minutes each way but can be three times that if traffic gets snarled - as it does, unpredictably, a few times a week. And many of the senior managers are on email all weekend so if you aren't, you miss stuff or have it piled up come Monday, sigh. They talk a lot about work-life balance and do NOT live it themselves.

[LarrytheCucumber]

I took early retirement at 56 (teacher, so I could on reduced pension). I have never regretted it. DS has AS. He was still at school when I retired and the benefits to him were huge.
We thought we would be struggling financially, but we are OK (never fancied cruises anyway!).