Married couple having sex in the same room as a teenager - weird family?

(76 Posts)
SlobbyGobby Sat 30-Jan-16 13:09:25

Thinking about something recently after watching CBB and the housemates cringing that they could hear noises from Jeremy/Stephanie snogging in the bedroom. When I was a young teen, say 13/14, my (9 years older) sister and her husband moved back into the family home as they were in between houses.

For some reason they ended up sharing my bedroom, the bottom bunk bed, whilst I was on the top one hmm. One night I very clearly heard and felt (bed rocking like the clappers) them have sex. They knew I was awake but didn't care. I just lay there with the covers over my head wanting to die. The next morning, they told the rest of the family and it was seen as a massive joke, with my disgust being seen hilarious! I remember being quite upset about it but they still slept in my room for a few more nights afterwards.

AIBU to think that this was disgusting. I have my own DC of a similar age now and I would go apeshit if they were put in that situation.

There was other weird stuff around bodies and sex that went on, as well as mother/stepfather making jokes about their sex life around us.

ridemesideways Sat 30-Jan-16 13:12:41

YANBU. At best they were not respectful of your personal space, at worst they were borderline abusive.

timelytess Sat 30-Jan-16 13:12:58

I think you might need to go through your childhood situation with a counsellor experienced in dealing with sexual abuse. There are very unhealthy situations where the child (you) wouldn't immediately think 'I've been abused' but nevertheless is hurt by what has gone on. Really, get counselling.

Jezebel555 Sat 30-Jan-16 13:13:13

I'm sorry but what they did to you was all kinds of wrong.

BlueRaptor Sat 30-Jan-16 13:13:20

Weird. Weird weird weird.

You are definitely not being U to think it disgusting, just gross. I'm an adult and if I heard (or felt like you described!) my brother and his girlfriend having sex I'd probably vom.

My family are the kind to joke around sex life too, the whole family make silly dirty jokes but that is definitely a step too far!

Owllady Sat 30-Jan-16 13:15:03

Isn't it abuse to have sex in front of a minor over a certain age? Ie not a baby
I haven't dream that have I confused

Bearsinmotion Sat 30-Jan-16 13:16:26

Weird. Very weird.

TitClash Sat 30-Jan-16 13:17:16

Its sounds like a form of exhibitionism, as they needed to tell everyone afterwards and make fun of your discomfort.
So like timelytess I'd suggest you see a counsellor and talk it out. Being used in someone elses sex games can be unpleasant.

MidnightAura Sat 30-Jan-16 13:17:23

That is weird. Yanbu.

Aspergallus Sat 30-Jan-16 13:17:44

Very wrong.

Social services would be all over this these days.

However I do remember one or two friends in my school days who spoke of their parents having sex while they were in the room. The kind of kids who (with hindsight) didnt seem particularly well looked after, early exposure to alcohol, one had a pregnancy at 15...

beeny Sat 30-Jan-16 13:18:35

It is abuse to have sex in front of a minor what they did was very wrong.

pleasegotowork Sat 30-Jan-16 13:19:37

O god, that's horrible. My husband and I won't even have sex if we know our teenager is still awake in the room next door in case we traumatise him. What happened to you is absolutley not normal.

SlobbyGobby Sat 30-Jan-16 13:21:42

This would have been almost 30 years ago now so attitudes would have been different I suppose.

It did actually make me want to vomit when I was thinking about it last night.

Sister has always been nasty and rude. Don't see her now.

Have had counselling but never went into that.

bornwithaplasticspoon Sat 30-Jan-16 13:23:29

What a horrible thing for a child to go through. Yanbu flowers

SlobbyGobby Sat 30-Jan-16 13:24:47

Yes, please DH and I's sex life is pretty much down to the rare occasion when all the DC are out nowadays!

It is more how my mother allowed that to happen/laughed about it that is affecting me, more than what my sister did.

Upthenoonoo Sat 30-Jan-16 13:26:57

No no no! So very wrong. Dd is 12.5 and I am so aware and dh and I dtd in case she hears us as I would be utterly mortified. Mind you I do recall on a particular caravan holiday waking up to hear my parents shagging at the other end. It made me want to puke!

JillJ72 Sat 30-Jan-16 13:29:14

... Because you would naturally expect your Mum to have your back. And now as a mother yourself, you absolutely would not do that to your own child. Or let their sibling so that to them. I'm sorry you've got this awful memory lodged; it's not nice thanks

MTWTFSS Sat 30-Jan-16 13:29:57

YANBU! They should have gone into the bathroom or waited until you were out/at school. Very disrespectful!

Ineedtimeoff Sat 30-Jan-16 13:38:42

YANBU and your mother/parent's reaction was shocking too.

givemecheese Sat 30-Jan-16 13:41:27

I haven't ever told anyone this. I used to share a room with my mum and dad until I was about 9. I can remember hearing them having sex and having to lie there mega still so they thought I was still asleep. I can recall my mother's orgasm noises even now. I was very sexually aware early in life, I put this down to this and also having easy access to my brothers porn magazines. I was highly promiscuous when I was in my late teens. I often wonder if it would have been different if I hadn't experienced this.
I would never tell my mother about this, she would probably deny it even happened.

limon Sat 30-Jan-16 13:46:05

yanbu this is abusive behaviour.

Elendon Sat 30-Jan-16 13:46:49

What was your sister's husband thinking when he decided to have sex with your sister and then talk about it the next day to your family?

What did your father think?

oneowlgirl Sat 30-Jan-16 13:51:30

That's terrible Op!

Bananalanacake Sat 30-Jan-16 13:51:45

It's very weird they told the rest of the family, I mean - as an adult I would never tell my family when I've just had sex, it's off the Richter scale of embarrassing.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sat 30-Jan-16 13:58:57

I'd say that is almost well, no completely perverted getting off on the fact that a child was in the same room as them whilst they were having sex. I think they need looking at TBH. And your other family members were just as guilty. Making jokes about their sex lives, bit long in the tooth, were they not
What 9 year old, past present and future doesn't think sex is disgusting. It's just a part of growing up, and to have it under your nose.

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