To eat bacon

(97 Posts)
TheCaptainsCat Tue 26-Jan-16 14:39:04

Have namechanged for this, although I really don't think I am BU.

So I share an office with a Muslim woman, who is lovely and I get on well with. Today I have found out that she has complained to our manager about me eating bacon sandwiches at my desk. Where I work people are allowed to eat at their desks as they work, it's very much part of the culture. My husband is Muslim so I don't usually really eat pork - colleague doesn't know this. I am eating it now because I am pregnant and have a hankering for bacon - colleague also doesn't know this. However I think this is by the by really.

I would like to think that I am culturally sensitive, and of course having Muslim family I'm aware of pork CONSUMPTION being haram. AIBU to think that colleague is BU in objecting to me quietly eating my bacon sandwich, and that she can't control what those around her eat on the basis of her own beliefs?

samG76 Tue 26-Jan-16 14:45:10

YANBU I- keep kosher, but wouldn't object to people eating bacon in the office, as long as they didn't drop bits of it all over my lunch. I would object to tuna, which is kosher but stinks the room out!

If she didn't like it, she should have spoken to you rather than escalate it.

eurochick Tue 26-Jan-16 14:46:37

Yanbu. Keep eating the bacon.

ChristmasZombie Tue 26-Jan-16 14:47:37

Of course YANBU!

lunar1 Tue 26-Jan-16 14:48:50

Assuming you are in the U.K. There are no rules stopping you eating bacon. I think I'd have to eat more bacon and tell her to piss off. You may want to be more tactful than me!

YANBU

I am also married to a Muslim and I think she should have spoken to you first. Most restaurants and cafes will have people eating non halal food in them. How does she cope outside of work.

PersephonePitstop Tue 26-Jan-16 14:55:54

YWNBU, she should have spoken to you first if she had a problem.

lunar1 Tue 26-Jan-16 14:56:25

Why should she have spoken to the op? She should have kept her opinions to herself. If she feels so strongly about what others eat then she needs to find a job where she won't be eating with others.

trulybadlydeeply Tue 26-Jan-16 14:57:41

Sorry OP YABU, as I am now craving a bacon sandwich.

Of course YANBU. If you are keeping to your desk what is the problem?

Akire Tue 26-Jan-16 14:58:56

How can you even tell? It's not like you can smell it in a sandwich. Different if you set up stove and fried it at your desk with the bacon smell whafting along its merry way.

samG76 Tue 26-Jan-16 14:59:39

lunar - obviously would have been best to keep it to herself but if she had to speak to someone it should have been OP and not manager.

gamerchick Tue 26-Jan-16 14:59:56

What did your manager say?

thelouisee Tue 26-Jan-16 15:00:21

YANBU. You're not forcing her to eat it. confused

EssentialHummus Tue 26-Jan-16 15:04:30

I'm Jewish and I'd have been whipping out the Percy Pigs at this point. YANBU. She either needs to ask politely on the grounds of the smell bothering her (would it, though?) or just STFU.

Kreacherelf Tue 26-Jan-16 15:05:47

I'm veggie and the smell of meat makes me gag. However, yanbu.

I'm just glad we don't share an office!

TheCaptainsCat Tue 26-Jan-16 15:06:10

Well I'm glad the consensus so far is that I'm not unreasonable, I was beginning to worry that my desire for bacon was skewing my judgement! I don't know how she could tell what it was, it was a cooled down roll I bought on my way to work, and didn't smell!

Manager mentioned it in passing really, with a kind of 'remember to be aware of other people's cultures'.

Am in UK too btw, so sandwich definitely legal.

Queenbean Tue 26-Jan-16 15:06:34

Why did you bother to name change for this...?

lunar1 Tue 26-Jan-16 15:09:22

I can't even see why your manager felt the need to mention it to you. He should have just informed her there are no rules regarding the contents of your sandwich.

TheCaptainsCat Tue 26-Jan-16 15:09:29

In case it started off some Islamophobic bunfight, which thankfully it hasn't. But I didn't want that attached to my usual name. I wasn't going to post at all, but it's been playing in my mind!

RumBabaPudding Tue 26-Jan-16 15:10:37

In future, let her know when you have a bacon sandwich so she can move elsewhere until you are finish.

In all seriousness, how close is she? If she working beside you then, if there is somewhere else for you to go, you could move. If not, you will have to eat where you are. She can then move if she is offended.

I think you have as much right as she does.

glueandstick Tue 26-Jan-16 15:10:42

Most importantly, did you have ketchup on it? Yabu if it didn't.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 26-Jan-16 15:14:53

Now you're being unreasonable glueandstick definitely should be brown sauce.

Sandsnake Tue 26-Jan-16 15:24:10

YADNBU. Before mat leave I sat next to a Muslim lady who responded with incredulity when I asked if she minded me eating pork / at Ramadan at my desk. She told me that they were her rules to follow and that what I ate didn't bother her at all. She was also happy to come to the pub with us - although would obviously stick to soft drinks.

alteredimages Tue 26-Jan-16 15:30:24

YANBU, your colleague was being a twat. I am a bit disappointed that your manager didn't take the opportunity to explain to her that it isn't her place to decide what other people can eat.

The cultural sensitivity thing does not apply here. I could understand if your employer had decided on a hog roast as the only option at a staff dinner, but am genuinely perplexed as to how your colleague could find this offensive.

AlwaysHopeful1 Tue 26-Jan-16 15:34:50

Yanbu , her culture and rules doesn't trump yours. If she has a problem, then it's her who needs to make an adjustment like excusing herself.

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