To be shocked by how much a tiny cute baby can fart like a 20 stone trucker

(46 Posts)
scarednoob Sun 24-Jan-16 21:30:12

Just that really. DD is 4.5 months and absolutely beautiful. But my goodness, sometimes she has the cheesy bean infested bumoley of a mahoosive builder after a night on the guinness! Was I totally naive not to expect this? Or are they all farty little beasts?!

pimplucius Sun 24-Jan-16 21:33:40

ugh why not in parenting or somewhere where descriptions of the farts of offspring seem less fucking disgusting

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Sun 24-Jan-16 21:34:06

They are all farty! I remember being so shocked when my dd1 was a few days old and starting making these incredible noises.

Dd2 is 2 weeks old and has spent a large part of today farting like a grown man.

DixieNormas Sun 24-Jan-16 21:35:01

mine were all like that, smelly little beasts

monkeysox Sun 24-Jan-16 21:35:12

They are especially fragrant if bf and mummy has had curry or cauliflower shock

SugarMiceInTheRain Sun 24-Jan-16 21:35:31

Hahahaaa! My middle child was just like this - DH and I were astonished! Really loud, man-sized farts that lasted for literally 20-30 seconds! My other 2 just did cute little trumps as babies (mostly) grin

dementedma Sun 24-Jan-16 21:35:57

Ds was only weeks old and being bf in bed during the night when he let out a belch that would have done a navvy proud. It was a proper man belch, not a cute baby one. I could hardly believe such a noise had come from such a tiny wee thing!

unimaginativename13 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:36:50

It's the burps which sound like beer drinking men crossed with hairballed cats that get me.

Sleepybunny Sun 24-Jan-16 21:39:27

Why open the thread pimplucius?

OP yes they are gassy fart balls, it's quite shocking. The velocity at which newborn poop can be released at is quite something to behold.

scarednoob Sun 24-Jan-16 21:41:54

I am laughing a lot at these descriptions (and also v relieved that my DD isn't the only one). Clearly I was naive about these things.

I miss being naive!

Stylingwax Sun 24-Jan-16 21:43:26

Yes!! I was in the kitchen yesterday and heard an absolute belter from the lounge, was about to chastise my 6'3, 18 stone hubby when he shouted that it was my 2 week old, 7lb daughter!

AndYourBirdCanSing Sun 24-Jan-16 21:53:29

I have fond memories of my twins trumping away next to each other in their cot when they were tiny. So loud!

ShowMeTheWonder Sun 24-Jan-16 22:00:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Knitmyshickers10 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:05:13

I always knew when my little baby DD had awakened in the morning as you'd hear the biggest, loudest fart emanating from her room. DH and I used to lay in bed giggling at her. She's now almost 13 and STILL does it! It's now a family joke grin

blueturtle6 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:10:47

You are not alone, my 4month old DD wakes me up with farts in night, that she sleeps through!! HV told me that bf babies don't have wind....err this one does!

middlings Sun 24-Jan-16 22:16:10

I remember DD1 letting rip when she was about 5 days old and DH and I looking at each other in shock and both exclaiming 'It wasn't me!' And then our jaws dropping as we realised it was her!!

pimplucious it's a parenting website. The whole site.

catsonlaps Sun 24-Jan-16 22:19:52

My friends baby used to wake himself up with his noisy trumps and then start crying! grin

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 24-Jan-16 22:24:55

I was shocked when my tiny baby did this!

😂 @ pimp, seems to have got Mn confused with Reddit.

WeAllHaveWings Sun 24-Jan-16 22:30:36

2 month old ds sprayed dh from his face to his waist with a huge fart that followed through during a nappy change! grin

Atathania Sun 24-Jan-16 22:32:22

I had a lovely bowl of Jerusalem artichoke soup when DD2 was about 6 weeks old.

It doesn't really affect me in that way, but poor little DD about flew to the moon!

Oysterbabe Sun 24-Jan-16 22:37:46

My pfb is 3 weeks old and a teeny premie, this has been the biggest surprise as a ftm. She's a 5lb whoopie cushion.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime Sun 24-Jan-16 22:38:34

My favourite is when you lift them up and the gentlest pressure of your hands on their tummy starts them firing off a volley lasting several minutes grin

scarednoob Sun 24-Jan-16 22:41:06

^ yes! Mine does this if I am feeding her in bed and she is lying on her stomach across me - a tiny little string of fart bubbles get popped out as a result! ^

She's currently snoring like father jack. I didn't know about that either...

mineofuselessinformation Sun 24-Jan-16 22:45:37

Dc2 was known as 'trumpet trousers' when small, and still does a good impression of something that should take off and move like a hovercraft now older!

CrystalMcPistol Sun 24-Jan-16 22:46:40

For you pimplucius

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