always having to fit around others

(3 Posts)
SuiGeneris Fri 22-Jan-16 20:41:38

Am interested to hear people's experiences of visiting PILs. MIl randomly announces she is coming to stay, rather than asking when might be convenient to visit. DH is terrified of looking unwelcoming, so never says much-even when we have plans. Or he says, and gets ignored. End result is MIL arriving when we have guests, installing herself with us and domineering the conversation, even steering it away when she becomes bored of a subject, when the rest of us would like to continue. Also, she is the sort of person who is always right and has an opinion on everything, so the whole thing becomes quite off putting for all those present (except her- she is always positive about the events and seems surprised we have interesting friends).

I am v annoyed at this and concerned that people will stop visiting us, especially when this happens when they only know us slightly. As is due to happen tomorrow.

My own parents ask in advance when might be convenient to visit, we agree a time and they stick to it. When they are here and there are guests, they help around, watch the kids and participate in conversation politely like normal people do, rather than taking it over.

So AIBU and what would you do? I feel I am stuck into looking rude with our would-be friends, to whom it will look as if we do not care enough about their visit to arrange other things around it, rather than to clash.

Euphemia Fri 22-Jan-16 22:09:38

DH needs to grow a backbone and tell them it's not convenient.

Madeyemoodysmum Sat 23-Jan-16 08:27:57

Go out and leave de and mil to it!

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