To cut a long story short, my Dad died 6 months ago, unexpectedly and having been admitted to hospital for a couple of days with acute shortness of breathe. Some time after the funeral the hospital got in touch to say they were investigating his death as it was unexpected and it was their policy to investigate. Another letter came just as we were coming to terms with his death saying that a few mistakes had been made basically. The last few months have been awful.
My mum has put all her efforts into following up this hospital letter and my Dad's hospital notes and she's set up a meeting with the team who was treating my Dad when he died.
My mum wants me to come to the meeting to support her and I initially agreed but now it's filling me with dread and upset and I don't want to go.
I think I don't want to go because I don't want my Dad's last hours being dragged up, I don't want to face the people who were treating him and who made mistakes. I don't want to hear him being talked about as a "case". I just can't handle it, I think it will send me right back to the time when we lost him and I can't go through that pain again.
BUT my mum wants my support and I love her so much. I can't stand seeing her in pain, my Dad was too young to die and they still had a big future together. How can I not support her through this. My brother has agreed to go to the meeting but my mum has asked me specifically because she said I will keep her sane and I'm good with all the medical stuff (I have a medical background). My stress levels are through the roof with the fact that I'm also moving house in a couple of weeks and my job is hectic beyond my control.
I just feel I'm going to burn out and I am at a loss to know what to do.
I don't want to worry my mum and I think she'll be upset if I don't go with her and I don't want to not support her when she needs me most.
I don't know what I'm asking in this AIBU - should I put my feelings to one side just for this meeting and help my mum? Sorry, not so short afterall.
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AIBU?
AIBU? I just can't tell and it's eating me up
52 replies
GratuitousSaxandViolins · 21/01/2016 23:17
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