WIBU to go back to this toddler session?

(62 Posts)
CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 15:49:29

Took DS2 to toddler gymnastics this morning. This is the first time taking him and just wanted to see how he liked it. Turns out he really enjoyed it.

DS is going through those terrible twos at the moment, coupled with having a speech and language delay. So he can get quite grumpy as well as not being able to follow instructions. On the equipment today, he had went on them but didn't do what the instructor was telling him to do. Eg. He was meant to bunny hop across the bench but instead he walked across it. He was meant to walk backwards on a piece of equipment but instead walked forwards.

Then it came to doing a forward role. He actually did manage to do this a couple of times, but was at first was reluctant so the instructor encouraged him to do a "sausage roll", where he rolled across the mat on his side. This was fine with me.

The bit behind him was older and confident on the equipment, and I'd seen him doing forward rolls no problem. But when he saw DS do a sausage roll he wanted to do one too, so he did.
Then I heard his Grandma say to him "No, you have to do it properly. Don't copy him", and then she kept glaring at me as if to say, 'your child is distracting my grandchild'. Her grandson wanted to do a sausage roll!

As the session went on, DS got a bit frustrated and threw himself to the floor a couple of times. Then he carried on. I then over heard the grandma again saying to another woman "At the other class they got control of the naughty children".

At that point I thought oh stop being so fucking miserable. Not every child is like this because they are plain naughty ffs and I felt like telling her that DS is being tested for Autism and to shut her trap. I didn't of course because I'm not one for confrontation, but she was just such a snob who seemed intolerant of less than perfect children/parents.

He's only just started, and I'm sure all children are different in their confidence and abilities. But why should I keep DS locked away and never build his confidence up because of other people? There may be another new child next week in the same boat!

She's probably hoping I don't go back next week. Should I go back?

CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 15:50:50

FFS so many errors in that post sorry!

The "bit" should say "boy".

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Thu 21-Jan-16 15:54:11

All that really matters is that sentence in your first paragraph - Turns out he really enjoyed it.

For that reason you absolutely should go back.

Snozberry Thu 21-Jan-16 15:56:59

A toddler class should be for no reason other than fun, social interaction and confidence building. Expecting them to be perfect at every task shouldn't be the focus and I wouldn't take DD to a class where it was. If the teacher was happy for DS to get stuck in however he wanted to then definitely go back, don't let some miserable bat ruin it.

CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 15:57:12

That's what I thought. I'll probably hear a few huffs and puffs from her when we walk through the door next week.

DartmoorDoughnut Thu 21-Jan-16 15:58:26

Definitely go back, sounds like he had a blast!

CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 15:58:52

Snoz the teachers were lovely and they are used to children of different confidence levels. It's just meant to be a relaxed, fun session not an intense gymnastics lesson where it has to be bang on.

CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 15:59:55

I'll go back smile The important thing is that DS had fun.

MrsDeVere Thu 21-Jan-16 16:00:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Murloc Thu 21-Jan-16 16:00:20

Definitely go back. If she huffs and puffs, just have a gentle, quiet word explaining that you really appreciate inclusive, kind environments for your child with suspected ASD.

If she still huffs after that, kick her in the shins. grin

meiisme Thu 21-Jan-16 16:01:16

My two used to be similar when toddlers. If I felt judged by other parents, I would often have a quick word with the teacher/group leader, so they knew that they had trouble following instructions. That way I felt not so alone and found it easier to shrug off any glares/whispers.

HeavyFrost Thu 21-Jan-16 16:01:55

He's not supposed to be Olga Korbut, he's only tiny and enjoying himself! Sit next to the sour woman next time and beam and say isn't it lovely when little ones are free-spirited...

Parsley1234 Thu 21-Jan-16 16:05:26

My son : at a Steiner nursery spent the whole time fighting with another little boy not sitting in the circle singing at all, at music group spent most of the session running around in his wellies wanting to kiss the joe jingles doll, at swimming the instructor just gave up. At the time I was mortified esp when there were huffy puffy parents but now he's 12 I think back with fond memories fuck it op just go enjoy it and ignore the huffers X

SweetSuz Thu 21-Jan-16 16:09:00

OP def go back and if glaring grandma there again I'd say; "could you please just focus on your own grandson and stop making constant comparisons and remarks about my son please, thanks!".

nailsathome Thu 21-Jan-16 16:10:04

You should go back but I don't think there is any need to bring up potential asd. As you said, all children are different in terms of confidence and ability whether or not they have special needs. I would say something along those lines to her

CantWaitForWarmWeather Thu 21-Jan-16 16:11:09

Thanks everyone smile
Heavy I like your suggestion grin I'd be interested to know what she'd have to say to that haha.

I find all the judgmental people make it so hard work. Walking through supermarket DS could have a tantrum at any point and people will gawp and I feel like they are judging me. He once played up on the bus and someone humiliated me by telling me to shut my kid up, when it was clear I was trying to do just that! Worst of all I feel like people think DS is a problem child who is out of control and that I am a rubbish mum for not being able to "control" him. I'm youngish as well (mid 20s but look about 21) so they probably judge based on my age as well.

voodoolooloo Thu 21-Jan-16 16:11:29

Sounds like your son enjoyed it! Ignore the miserable horrible woman. Obviously her grandson isn't so perfect if he's that easily distracted wink
Go back and hold your head high. You've done nothing wrong.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 21-Jan-16 16:13:11

She sounds lovely

Of course you should go back. It's lovely that he enjoyed himself. I did gymnastics as a child and it gave me fantastic confidence.

SweetAdeline Thu 21-Jan-16 16:13:20

He's only 2!

We used to go to a "gymnastics" class with dd at that age and it was a free-for-all. The only thing that was expected of them was that they stay safe and were encouraged to use the equipment in a certain order (it was set up as a circuit). There would normally be one child standing in the middle of the circuit having a tantrum at any given time, because that's what toddlers do!

voodoolooloo Thu 21-Jan-16 16:13:50

Sometimes people do stare in the supermarket. It's so hard, but try to ignore them. I imagine they're thanking their lucky stars it's not their child (today).
Chin up, fuck them thanks

petitfromage Thu 21-Jan-16 16:14:12

We started a gymnastics 'class' last week - my 2 yr old DD absolutely loves it too. I would definitely go back no matter what anyone said. Their poor toddler attitude is absolutely no reason no stop your child's enjoyment.

The one thing I would say is our class is a lot less structured - there are three rooms full of all the gymnasium stuff with one having a 'toddler gym set up' for them to play on. An instructor is in this room teaching to do forward and backward roles (if they want to) and they all get 2 mins on the trampoline with an instructor (everyone has a number so you know when your turn is) - apart from that they just do what they want. As such it was the least stressful hour of my day as DD could choose what to do, where to go and I just let her do it. No tantrums, few instructions and a very very happy child. Incidentally she refused to try forward roles last week but really wanted to this week. I'd have hated it if someone commented on her last week.

I'd hope you just had one crappy know it all grandma and look for the normal mums next time.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 21-Jan-16 16:14:45

Ha ha. Are you quite sure she was the Grandma? Because if she's not you have an amazing put down when you call him her grandson <should it become necessary> grin grin

tomatodizzy Thu 21-Jan-16 16:15:18

Go back and make sure you sit far away from the old trout.

SweetAdeline Thu 21-Jan-16 16:15:25

I should add that dd refused to take part in 90% of it (especially anything which involved interacting with the instructors) and was only really keen to go because they got a sticker at the end.

spiderlight Thu 21-Jan-16 16:16:12

He's a toddler. It's about fun and confidence. They're not training for the Olympics. If he enjoyed it, go back and ignore Grumpy Grandma!

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