to wonder what does love mean to people

[Canyouforgiveher]

I read so many threads where women say "I love him so much and he loves me" or "we love each other to pieces" or "we are so loved up usually"

and then there is a ... but he shouts/screams/denies me money/chokes me/is occasionally violent/won't talk to me for days/plays x box 24/7/never does anything nice for me/sneers at my jokes/won't mind our children so I can get a break/says I look crap etc etc etc

but "he loves me" seems to be always in there.

No he doesn't.

Love means being kind, thinking the best of someone, not being selfish, being prepared to sacrifice a bit, being willing to put yourself last for a little bit so your loved one can do well, taking a real delight in your loved one's achievements and joys.

I honestly think they should put a

"This is what a functional non-abusive relationship looks like"

on the secondary school curriculum because I am beyond depressed on here reading what women,who could aspire to so much better, accept as a loving relationship.

[awfullyproper]

Empathy
Lacking in a lot of places, including in your post.

[HelpfulChap]

Well that's the age old question. I love my wife but I would find it very hard to define it in words.

[HelpfulChap]

Actually, your description is good. I like it.

[hottubjam]

There have been times I have shouted and screamed, not just at him at loads of people. That is spending 24/7 with people tbh.

I am also a very sarcastic person. Dh has no clue with money and I give him an allowance and go on a rant about it, like turn off those bloody lights, but I love him as he is fun, good looking and my best mate.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

Letting each other make mistakes, and commiserating rather than lecturing. Also kisses with tongues.

[waitingforsomething]

Love for me and DH is supporting each other through the tough times, trying to facilitate each other's ambitions where possible, knowing when to talk to each other or just leave each other be, loving our kids together.
We still argue sometimes - that's normal but no one abuses anyone else mentally, verbally or physically

[Gottagetmoving]

Unfortunately, even though people love each other - they can be screwed up enough to act/behave badly.

It works both ways - If you love someone you don't abuse them and if they abuse you, in any way - you don't put up with it, because you don't allow people you love to get away with that behaviour.

I think often,people confuse neediness and dependancy with love.