To think 'friend' was being a bitch.

(78 Posts)
Vickymumof4 Wed 20-Jan-16 09:39:10

Long story but will try to keep it short. Met up with some friends yesterday for coffee and one of the girls really upset me. There's four of us, all ex work friends who usually meet up a couple of times a month for coffee and we all get on really well. We were talking about the torrential rain and storms that we had a few weeks ago and one of them was saying about how her fence had blown down and roof tiles had come off etc, so I told them about what happened to me. Driving in this awful rain with dd and we saw a woman walking along a very very busy duel carriageway with no coat on in this horrendous rain. Drove past and I remarked to dd how awful and I bet her car had broken down etc etc so we came off road and drove back round and pulled in a lay-by to offer her a lift, or the use of our phone. Turned out she was a 12 year old girl ( hard to tell with the rain) who had run away from home and was going to meet a man she had met on the Internet in a town 40 miles away. Obviously I couldn't then just drop her off somewhere so I called the police and then took her to my home to wait for them. Police came and took this girl home and then followed up with a lovely call to tell me what had happened, as did her mum to thank me for stopping. My friend then said in a very bitchy way " oh your a proper Samaritan you aren't you" I asked what she meant and she said " well only you would stop fgs everyone else would have thought aww what a shame and gone about their day, but your always adopting waifs and strays" ( I have an adopted dd as well as fostered children over the years). I didn't tell the story to receive any kind of praise but was just telling them what had happened in the context of the conversation. This comment has really upset me, as it was the way in which it was said.Dh has just said ignore it and that she can be a real bitch sometimes with everyone, but I can't get over the WAY it was said, in a sneery, bitchy way.Aibu to want to phone her and speak to her about how much it upset me or should I just ignore this comment as she has never been like this to me before and we just carried on as normal after it was said.

Paintedhandprints Wed 20-Jan-16 09:42:35

Yep. Shes a jealous bitch. Not a friend at all.
Maybe better to just distance yourself from her rather than have an argument with , i doubt it would change anything.

bornwithaplasticspoon Wed 20-Jan-16 09:43:17

She's not your friend.

Well done for helping the girl. The worls would be a better place if there were more people like you in it.

Did the other friends not say anything?

Hihohoho1 Wed 20-Jan-16 09:44:14

He sounds horrible and probably jealous.

I wouldn't bother meeting her again to be honest. If you meet only as a group then I would generally ignore her.

If she asks you what's wrong tell her. What a bitch!

bumbleymummy Wed 20-Jan-16 09:44:29

Yes, she sounds a bit mean and bitchy so I wouldn't let her get to you - that's obviously what she wants!

HeartShapedBox Wed 20-Jan-16 09:45:19

It would have been better if you'd pulled her up on it at the time, it looks a bit hmm if you phone her up now.

Next time- there will be one- just say something there and then.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 20-Jan-16 09:48:40

Yep, shes a bitch. What were you meant to do? Leave a 12 yr old girl to meet some random stranger who could have been anybody or do what you hope someone would do if your DC needed help.

I'd ignore her and if she doesnt again, say something.

SoftBlocks Wed 20-Jan-16 09:49:07

You sound like a very decent caring person. She sounds like a bitch. If there is a next time pull her up on it. How rude of her to belittle your compassion and generosity like that.

mrsjskelton Wed 20-Jan-16 09:49:52

I don't think I would have thought to stop and check out the situation - I admire you for that and so should your friends!!

Vickymumof4 Wed 20-Jan-16 09:52:05

The other girls looked a bit shocked at the comment and said it was lucky for her that I'd stopped and not someone else and that we could have been hearing about it on the news. The conversation just naturally moved on and there really wasn't the opportunity to raise it with her again.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 20-Jan-16 09:54:50

Vicky, be proud of yourself for stopping. You could have saved that girl from something awful.

Now just start seeing her for the spiteful cow that she is.

werewolfinladderedtights Wed 20-Jan-16 09:55:03

That says much more about her than it does about you. Ignore her she's a nasty bitch. You sound lovely tho.

FedoraTheExplora Wed 20-Jan-16 09:55:51

Any decent person would be proud of their friend after hearing that story. What a bitch!

Fifi10 Wed 20-Jan-16 09:56:07

Ignore her, sounds like a passive aggressive bitch to me.

LatinForTelly Wed 20-Jan-16 09:59:45

Your friend was being a bitch. I will never understand why some people have to be horrible to others to make themselves feel better. How does that even work? But try to forget about it, distance yourself slightly from this 'friend' - but not the others - and move on.

eternalopt Wed 20-Jan-16 10:01:27

I would imagine the other two are thinking she's a dick, so I'd just leave it alone now. She's the one that made a tit of herself, and if you call her, if she's feeling embarrassed or ashamed, she might go in the defensive, and if she's not feeling embarrassed or ashamed you won't get a resolution anyway. If she brings it up, you can point out that she owes you an apology, but I wouldn't expect one anytime soon. Obviously got a chip on her shoulder about something. Maybe she really loved those roof tiles she lost!

PaulAnkaTheDog Wed 20-Jan-16 10:03:32

Perhaps she couldn't understand why you brought it up and was trying to insinuate you were bragging? Awful behaviour from her.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Jan-16 10:04:30

Do you think she might have disbelieved the story?

I mean in so much as she was so open about telling you she had run away from home, and was about to meet a man from the internet?

What with that and the Police being happy to allow a stranger to take a 12yr old in their car to their home to wait for them, might have made her think you were spinning a yarn?

Sandbrook Wed 20-Jan-16 10:04:31

So she effectively called your DD a waif or stray?
What a nasty person. Slowly back away from her without damaging your relationships with anyone else. It can be done quietly and slowly before she even realises it's happening but as others have said, she's no friend of yours so don't behave like she is.

blankmind Wed 20-Jan-16 10:04:49

Vicky, you showed her part of herself that's missing, kindness, empathy and thought for a child in distress. She had a shock so tried to put you down but ended up showing everyone there her real character.

Ignore her and be proud of what you did, you saved that little girl from an awful experience. flowers

Sandbrook Wed 20-Jan-16 10:05:54

And well done for using your instinct and stopping for that child. You could have potentially avoided a horrific incident happening to her. You should feel very proud flowers

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 20-Jan-16 10:08:30

There are two answers to this unpleasant woman: Primo Levi's "If not now, when?". The other is " ODFOD, you lemon chewing cuntpuffin".

ohtheholidays Wed 20-Jan-16 10:10:07

OP she sounds like a really nasty bitch!You on the other hand are the kind of person we need more of.And the fact that you've adopted and fostered children as well just goes to show that you are very different from your friend.

Thank God you did stop,what you friends said were my exact thoughts if you hadn't stopped that little girl would never have gone back home unharmed.

I worked with children for a long time and my DH is a Police Officer it's always so reassuring to know there's people like you out there,it helps make the world feel a bit kinder and just that bit safer.

Pipestheghost Wed 20-Jan-16 10:10:43

Don't ring her, she sounds a twat, don't let her comments get to you. You know you done the right thing.

Kryptonite Wed 20-Jan-16 10:12:56

Wow. Agree with the others, she sounds like an absolute cow. What were you supposed to have done after hearing that a 12 year old had run away? Leave her to it to go meet this man?!
As the mum of a 12 year old, you did absolutely the right thing, and thank goodness there's still lovely people like yourself around.
Ignore her, she doesn't sound like a friend and her remark says a hell of a lot more about her than it does you.

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