I'll start by saying I'm very pregnant, tired, aching and fed up so it may well be clouding my view.
I have a 'friend' I have known for a good decade. She's always been a bit.... Alternative and heavily into religion. I'm the complete opposite of this but each to their own.
Since moving closer to her (not deliberately) we've had many more interactions than previously so perhaps I'm just beginning to notice things.
Firstly she keeps inviting me to church groups that will be super fun and I would love (I wouldn't. I don't do church) so I make polite noises, say thank you for thinking of me but it isn't my thing. This keeps happening. I don't want to snap and tell her what I really think.
She treats the church as an excuse to be a knob to people- if it is in the cause of the church she'll walk over everyone but thinks it's ok because it's for Jesus' sake.
Before Christmas I had a message asking if I wanted to bake and donate a huge amount of cake for a church event that I really should come to! Yet again I declined. She laid it on thick that she has hurt her leg recently but didn't seem bothered that I couldn't physically walk upstairs because of hip pain thanks to being pregnant. I also said that I was trying to cut down on what I was doing as have a habit of over doing everything and wasn't on top form and pretty shattered.
Then she offered to take some old stock from a previous business and sell it at the event (this was for refugees or something. It wasn't something I would have supported as I would have chosen a different route that didn't have such high outgoings before it reaching the charity but that's a different story. I'm not heartless and will help but do like to research first). I wasn't able to go to the event and made it clear that I couldn't just donate it all as it was several hundred pounds worth of stuff and was going to eBay it. She agreed and said she would take it. Then I realise she ignored the bit about it being all for free (she had organised the event) and I got the whole 'but it's supporting the church's good work for others less fortunate' to which I had to reiterate that I was on maternity leave and wouldn't be working for several months and as much as I would love to be that charitable, I have to choose how and where I give. It's long and convoluted but I ended up giving half.
THEN I had an invitation to a boozy Christmas event about an hour and a half from from- but it's ok because I could just have water.
Now I have been asked to go to an event in a couple of weeks for some food bank and expected to help cooking. This is again an hour and a half from home, they want donations too and clearing up. Oh and if you have anything left over from your business we will take it off your hands. When can you deliver it? This is 10 days before my due date.
Then I get a message saying 'oh how fun would it be if you went into labour there?' Yeah fecking loads....
The final straw has been when I mentioned how long it takes to eBay everything (I was quite surprised how time consuming it was!) in regards to some equipment from the business, she mentions she wants to start something similar and can she just have it all (for nothing) and will I go and spend a couple of days teaching her everything about the industry? Preferably in the next month. She'll provide cake!
Am I being unreasonable thinking she just doesn't think about anyone but what she wants to do or am I just being a cow? It has been playing on my mind for a few days now.
Just writing this makes me wonder why I keep bloody bothering.
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AIBU with regards to a 'friend'
74 replies
glueandstick · 19/01/2016 10:01
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