Cheer up love

(83 Posts)
sofiahelin1 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:19:54

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh !!!
Haven't had that comment in years, just walking down the street minding my own business, not in a bad mood.
Wish I'd thought of something to say back angry
Was with my ds12 and told him never to say that to a woman, should of said it louder angry

SirBoobAlot Sat 16-Jan-16 17:25:03

Pisses me off something chronic. Last bloke who told me that, I spun around and asked them if they would say it to a man. They spluttered a bit then said no, and I walked off. Obviously have a vibe about me as hasn't happened since wink

DizzyDancer Sat 16-Jan-16 17:26:15

He was just being nice!

Can't people be nice anymore?

What offended you? The cheer up or the love part?

hiddenhome2 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:27:11

A bloke said it to me once. I told him that a close relative had just died (they hadn't) and then enjoyed seeing his face drop smile

Rudeabaga Sat 16-Jan-16 17:28:42

It's about the least "nice" thing you.can possibly say to a stranger. Always seems to be men saying it to women, in my experience. Sorry my face isn't pleasing enough for you to look at, now fuck off.

hiddenhome2 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:29:08

It's sexist Dizzy

It implies that women are there to look nice and be cheerful and grateful that some random bloke has noticed them hmm

Women have feelings, we're not there to be pleasant wallpaper for blokes.

I8toys Sat 16-Jan-16 17:29:40

Why do they feel the need to comment? They don't know you or your life? I have resting bitch face - its my natural disposition.

DizzyDancer Sat 16-Jan-16 17:31:17

Well ive always seen it as a man trying to be nice to woman.
My grandad says it all the time and he means it in the nicest way possible

Next time people are going to say that a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist because it implies I can't do it myself

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 16-Jan-16 17:32:42

He was just being nice!

Being nice is leaving strangers in peace as they walk down the street.

Women aren't performing seals put there for the pleasure/benefit of men's aesthetic sensibilities.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sat 16-Jan-16 17:34:25

Some random man said that to mum just after she had left my 3 year old sister dead in hospital, no-one knows why someone is looking sad and sometimes it is better to offer nothing more than a smile.

hiddenhome2 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:34:44

If you don't get it Dizzy then it's too hard to explain hmm

DizzyDancer Sat 16-Jan-16 17:37:21

No go ahead and explain
I get that sometimes comments are not needed and there is a reason why people look upset or just have resting bitch face but everyone goes on about how people should care for other humans and a simple thing like this is met with scorn and hatred because a man said "cheer up love" to a woman. What if a woman had said it to another woman? Would it matter then?

Hulababy Sat 16-Jan-16 17:41:04

Being nice is saying good morning, nice day, hello, etc.

Cheer up, or it might never happen, and stuff of that ilk are not 'just being nice.' Especially said by someone e who has no idea if you have a reason to not have a manic grin on your face at any one moment.

Pipestheghost Sat 16-Jan-16 17:43:35

Where I come from 'cheer up love' is on par with 'a face like a slapped arse'. Very rude and sexist.

exexpat Sat 16-Jan-16 17:43:54

If someone I knew personally thought I looked sad and said, in a sympathetic tone of voice, 'cheer up love', then (assuming that I hadn't just been through a bereavement or similar) I would not see it as sexist or irritating. It might be the start of a conversation about why I was looking down.

But when a complete stranger says to a woman (and it is always a woman on the receiving end) on the street 'cheer up love, it may never happen' or similar, then that is not a sign that they care about other people - they just think women should go around smiling to look pretty for men.

It is horrible and sexist and insensitive - very often people look sad because they have something to feel sad about. Someone shouted this at me not long after DH died.

Flumplet Sat 16-Jan-16 17:45:48

I don't think a woman would say it to another woman though - or a man to another man for that matter - particularly to a complete stranger. It's the kind of comment men reserve explicitly to comment on the aesthetics of a woman, that's why it's wrong.

EponasWildDaughter Sat 16-Jan-16 17:46:28

What does it even mean? Sick of the number of times i hear this.

I wouldn't have the gall to tell anyone to 'cheer up'. Male or female. I don't take it as a nice comment at all. I take it as 'you look miserable. stop looking miserable'. What business of theirs is it how i 'look'? Maybe i look sad because i AM sad.

If there's any genuine concern for if someone's welfare then 'Are you alright?' is the correct phrase. But that isn't what this is, is it?

madmother1 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:47:09

Someone said that to me years ago. Little did he know that husband was having an affair with another woman and I was 6 months pregnant with my first baby. I wish I'd had the nerve to vent that at the time. I still remember it as vividly as the day it happened.

sofiahelin1 Sat 16-Jan-16 17:48:09

Nice??? Wtf

CurlyBlueberry Sat 16-Jan-16 17:49:18

It's fucking annoying. I suffer from resting bitch face too. I usually wasn't unhappy before the comment!! It's not being nice. It's saying "you are not looking cheerful enough for my liking. Put a smile on for me". How about you leave me be. If you are genuinely trying to be nice you could start a conversation, offer help, or just smile nicely.

knobblyknee Sat 16-Jan-16 17:50:37

DizzyDancer
From your comments I can only assume you're a troll or a man.
'Next time people are going to say that a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist because it implies I can't do it myself'

No they're not.

'Cheer Up Love' is rude. Its telling women they have to look nice and happy for everyone elses benefit. All the fucking time.

'Maybe it will be better tomorrow' is nice. But so is keeping your nose out of other peoples sadness.

Cavaradossi Sat 16-Jan-16 17:53:17

Grow up, Dizzy. What part of 'I feel entitled to demand that a complete stranger changes the expression on her face, because she's not doing her womanly job of looking pleasant and decorative' is 'nice'?

WhoseBadgerIsThis Sat 16-Jan-16 17:53:37

"Nice" would be stopping to ask if someone is ok as they look sad. Telling them to cheer up says you don't care if or why they are sad, you just want to mock them for not looking all smiley for you. Can you tell I hate this phrase?

DizzyDancer Sat 16-Jan-16 17:53:54

grin I am neither a troll or a man

I am a woman and I have been on mn for a few months under various names.

I genuinely think 9/10 most people don't realise what they are saying and how they are saying. They think they are being nice. My husband can't understand what is wrong with the statement either. He thought it was a way to say what's up and be nice about it.

Some people might not like it, others may use it as an excuse to vent but fine I can see why you don't like it

elephantoverthehill Sat 16-Jan-16 17:54:05

I may have told this before, but many years ago I was taking a very late train London back to uni. The carriage I got into was full of quite banterish men. I think they were going to collect the papers from Fleet Street or something similar. Any way one of them said the 'Cheer up love' comment and I replied that I had just been to my Aunt's funeral. The shocked look on their faces! After that I was plied with wine, cigarettes and snacks. They were really quite a lovely bunch but I met they never made that comment again. As I said it was many years ago.

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