To ask for your help re leaving?

(42 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Baronessvontwurzel Sat 16-Jan-16 10:05:03

Thanks in no small part to mn I have got to the point where I am leaving. I've had enough and I've found a place to move to.
I'm panicking about the move.

Could I ask for your help?
I'm worried about furnishing it and making it nice so the dc are happy. I am totally flummoxed by tv/ sky packages and tvs and sky boxes, smart tvs and Netflix. Could anyone tell me what I can buy/ do to have it all set up on move in day?

Next, flat pack furniture and the kids beds - I have agreed to leave the majority of furniture here as h and I are hoping to be able to share care. I'll need to order beds and set them up, but also have a 1 year old and have moved away from friends and family so not got many people to ask fit a hand. I have some money, can anyone recommend bed buying and flat pack furniture construction tips? Or just pay the Ikea service, any good?

I'm also worried about money and moving, I'll have about 1,400 pounds left over after the rental deposit to buy what I need new and move in.

I'm planning to do a big clear out of my own books and clothes, and not take all the kids stuff as I'll need to leave at least half their stuff here. H and I want to be amicable and not shock the DC so I was thinking I'd take 4 days to move everything over in the car and setting everything up before they see it.

The big items I would be taking would be which will need a removal van-

My bed
Tumble dryer
Dishwasher

Apart from that I will be buying new / second hand the following:

Kitchen table
Chairs
Fridge
Washing machine

Sofa
TV
Desk
Shelving

Ds bed
Dd cot

I'm way out of budget aren't I. Haven't wanted to argue with h about possessions or to ask for help wirh the move. This doesn't look possible does it.

Any thoughts very welcome.

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 10:09:59

You'll struggle to fund all that on 1400. How have you determined your budget and why are you moving out not Stbx? Do you have any furniture recycling charities nearby? They will check that it meets safety regulations and could cover basics.

AlpacaLypse Sat 16-Jan-16 10:11:32

Well done for getting to this point!

Would an old friend/family member be able to come over for a few days to give you a hand?

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 10:12:24

You only need a basic freeview TV to get started, cost from £100 up new. Forget sky etc for now. Or a 2nd hand tv plus £20 freeview box. Won't Stbx help with assembly?

knobblyknee Sat 16-Jan-16 10:13:03

Use Freecycle.
Ask Womens Aid if they can help you move.

Good luck. wine cake chocolate

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Sat 16-Jan-16 10:16:07

You can do this! Have you tried freecycle? It can be hit & miss but we've had some success in the past (a 12ft x 8ft shed for us & 3 seater & 2 seater almost new leather sofas for a friend being the most notable). Ebay & Facebook selling sites can be good too. Does you local tip have a charity shop at it? Our does that sells donated small & large electricals. They're all full PATested before being sold on. Flat pack isn't all that scary once you've made a couple of bits but look out for handyman adverts in the local paper. It's a hard time of year for most folks in that trade so you may be able to be cheeky, say what needs doing, offer a price you're willing to pay & see if they'll do it. Good luck!

SavoyCabbage Sat 16-Jan-16 10:20:00

We just emigrated and had to buy a lot of furniture and basic things all at one time.

For new things, you can't really beat IKEA on price. We bought a lot of things all on the same day and had them delivered. The down side,is that you have to build it. If any of your friends or family ask if there is anything that they can do to help, you could say 'yes, can you help me put together a kitchen table on Tuesday'.

Don't forget to check bargain corner if you do go to IKEA.

MotherKat Sat 16-Jan-16 10:22:44

Have you checked Mumsnet local to see if anyone nearby can help?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Sat 16-Jan-16 10:25:16

Just thought do you shop at Tesco? You can use the vouchers on Tesco direct & they have a sale on atm so if you have any that are unused they could be useful for small electricals or similar & I think they deliver to store for free.

Baronessvontwurzel Sat 16-Jan-16 10:27:32

Thanks all, very helpful.

I'll contact wa, and also be a bit more upfront accepting some help.

No, h won't move. I couldn't afford to stay in this house anyway, he loves it so seems the right thing to do.

About the TV though... It's the thing that is bothering me most... Ds loves watching football on it, it's a big deal to him and I know he will be upset if it's not sorted - we don't have sky sports or anything - we do have sky- at the moment but we record motd and the German league. I don't even understand the difference between a recording sky box and a free box. It just flummoxes me.

I've been looking on eBay and could buy everything second hand pretty much, but I'd need to be there for delivery, organise couriers. I'm desperate not to upset dc and start off on bad foot in new house with no telly, table etc. Maybe I'm making too much of this?

stairbears Sat 16-Jan-16 10:37:44

Make your broadband order in advance as it can take several weeks to activate. If the house has an aerial you'll need a tv with inbuilt freeview receiver (most newish have), or you can get freeview box separate. If house has satellite dish you'll need a tv with inbuilt Freesat decoder, or buy a separate Freesat box to receive the free satellite channels. You'll need something else entirely if you want to record, though. The stores can give you free advice.

Timeforanamechangy Sat 16-Jan-16 10:38:41

Might be a long shot but you could try facebook pages in your local area? There can be some very cheap/free stuff on there, even the local paper can have stuff being sold cheap.

Good luck x

stairbears Sat 16-Jan-16 10:39:35

Netflix etc you can get via playstation or other connected to internet and tv.

BramblePie Sat 16-Jan-16 10:47:22

Most tvs (if not all) nowadays if you are buying new, will be a "smart" tv where it will have the free view channels to access without the need for a standalone free view box. Personally, If I were you I'd buy a new TV and not get sky TV. You could sign up for Netflix and as long as you have an Internet cable running to your TV you could access it that way OR buy Google Chrome cast which is a small device that's you hook up to your TV but you control it from your phone. So download the Netflix app or the amazon tv app and you "cast" it to the TV. If you did end up getting bt tv just get the standard tv package as you get BT sport 1 included and they offer Netflix for 5.99. You could get BT tv with Internet and phone and then you're all set up. In my experience it takes 14 to 30 days to have this set up but you should call them and give the date you will be moving and see if they can set it up in time for you moving.

Could you put a message on Facebook asking if anyone has furniture they could donate? We have a page called "facebay xxxxx' where the xxxxxs are the towns name so say "facebay aberdeen". see if your town has one and people are always offering furniture for free or low cost on there. But you have to join the page to view it.

miraclebabyplease Sat 16-Jan-16 10:48:39

We bought the IKEA cot for our second baby. It was £60. It is really great and has loads of growing room (she is 1 in a few weeks). I also second facebook selling groups and gumtree for cheap deals.

mytimewillcome Sat 16-Jan-16 10:49:02

Talk talk is one of the cheaper way of doing broadband/sky sports but I probably would put it on the back burner until you see how much money you have left at the end of the month. You can pay a handyman to put flat pack furniture together if you have no one to help. I should think that would be cheaper than ikea.

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 10:51:55

There is an online network called Streetlife where you can get recommendations for handyman in your area and maybe a man with a van to assist your move. Most flat packs are very straightforward, wardrobes and tall bookcases may require 2, could you find someone to babysit your lo while you assemble.

MrsGentlyBenevolent Sat 16-Jan-16 10:52:39

First of all MOTD is on freeview - so not having Sky shoudn't be an issue. In fact, it's on iplayer, so if you have a laptop or such, you can watch it on there. We don't have an aerial set up in out home (the external one is broken), and Virgin Media TeVo cost a small fortune. We have Netflix (£6 per month, can cancel any time) and Now TV (£7 per month for just the Entertainment package, again cancel anytime or even add Sky Sports for an extra cos - just for the day or for a whole month). You can also watch these streaming services through a gaming console, so they can be watched in two different rooms if needs be. We also have broadband but no line rental - be careful of that cost when looking up internet prices. It may say 'from £5 a month', however it is not mentioning line rental/set up fees.

As for furniture - have you looked in British Heart Foundation shops? The big out-let type ones? We recently got a huge dresser from there for £10! Ebay, Gumtree of Freecycle are also a good shout.

Mrskeats Sat 16-Jan-16 10:55:14

Have a look at Facebook selling groups; lots of stuff on mine either free or very cheap
Also charity shops that do furniture
I've had some success with gumtree too

mytimewillcome Sat 16-Jan-16 10:55:52

And I only pay for extra channels on talk talk if they are on offer. They give them to you half price sometimes. Brambles advice about an internet tv is good. At the moment I get netflix via the you view box with talk talk.

mytimewillcome Sat 16-Jan-16 11:02:28

You can also look at checkatrade for a handyman in your area. I know they've had bad press recently but I use the website all the time and not had any problems.

RandomMess Sat 16-Jan-16 11:02:41

I really hope H is not screwing you over financially. Perhaps you have to accept that it won't be perfect on the day you move - make out it's an adventure, let the DC camp out without beds for a few nights!!!

Ask on freecycle.

I'm not sure I would bother taking the washing machine and dishwasher with you they are very very heavy to move and don't like being moved and have you got someone to plumb them in?

Has H given you money to split the cost of the household items you aren't taking with you? Does he know you are moving out?

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 11:03:17

Could dc not watch motd etc at Stbx home if necessary.

ILoveMyMonkey Sat 16-Jan-16 11:08:34

All from Ikea:
Dining Table frame £15
Dining Table top £15
Gunde folding dining chair £5 X 4 = £20
Or Adde dining chair £10 x4 = £40
Solsta 2 seat sofa bed £95
Desk : Vittsjo £30
Shelving billy bookcase (6 shelves) £55
Tarva single bed £70 + moshult single mattress £60
Sundvik cotbed £90 + £ 15 mattress

Leaves a substantial amount for Tv, fridge and washing machine.

Good luck, you can do this.

Baronessvontwurzel Sat 16-Jan-16 11:10:44

Gosh thanks all. I'm really grateful.

Just digesting all the TV points- sounds as though I need to contact the estate agent and find out about Ariels and dishes?

Thanks for the fb selling pages advice, I will join my local one.

Now looking into washer dryers - any recommends? The miele is well reviewed but 1300!! Shocking! Indesit cheap but badly reviewed.

Any recommends for a cheap good fridge freezer?

Finally- I do wish I didn't have to do this. H has been really scaring me so I feel no choice. Might he stop intimidating me and things can go back to the way it used to be? Or pass me the grip and tell me to run foe the hills and stay in them.

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