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AIBU?

To ask those of you who have lost a job you loved for advice?

14 replies

itsthecircleoflife · 15/01/2016 13:45

Just found out im being made redundant. Complete shock as Im currently studying in order to get a promotion that wss supposed to be coming up.

Im numb. Im angry. My superior is also a long term friend and she has known for a few weeks. I cant look past the anger I have for her not telling me.

I dont know how to move on. How am i supposed to Sad

OP posts:
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Twitterqueen · 15/01/2016 13:52

Huge sympathies.
Firstly, it's really, really bad HR practice to do this on a Friday. This is because the person cannot do anything about it over the weekend and so it can increase feelings of helplessness.

YABU for feeling angry at your superior. Was it actually her decision? I'm guessing not, in which case it's put her in a difficult position too. It would have been extremely unprofessional of her to tell you anything before the official announcement.

The fact that you are studying is a good thing - it will keep you occupied and increase your chances of getting another job. Also, if you were lined up for a promotion this should surely tell you that you were valued and that people had confidence in you. Being made redundant doesn't mean this was / is untrue.

Having been made redundant a few times throughout my career I can say that I was hugely upset twice and mildly pissed off another time. In each case I went on to better things.

It IS upsetting and scary and it does make you feel rejected, no matter how many times people tell you it's not personal. But it's also a fact of life in the current job market.

Onwards and upwards. Have a cry, shout, bottle of wine, cup of tea and look upon this as an opportunity to change your life for the better.

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PollyPocket100 · 15/01/2016 13:52

The same happened to me very recently whilst quite heavily pregnant. I'd handed in my notice a few months prior for another job else where and was encouraged to stay with promises of a promotion.
I was really disappointed and angry with my boss until I found out he was being made redundant as well and had been kept as in the dark as myself and my team.
Have taken the opportunity to retrain for a completely different career (I'd have never had the time or money to do so without being made redundant) which helped me to gradually see things in a more positive light.

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goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/01/2016 13:55

It's hard. TBH I've not gotten over it. Both times I was invited to reapply for a job that contained aspects of what I was doing already, and I was unreasonably furious that I'd have to reapply when I was capable of doing the job already.

However, I will say that both times I was made redundant it lead to better things: career, money, job satisfaction. It wasn't always immediate, but I can look back and see how my career has had an upward trajectory.

Good luck!

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justmyview · 15/01/2016 13:57

It would have been unprofessional of your friend to tell you, so YABU for being cross with her (although understandable)

I have also been made redundant and went on to better things. I think it's very common

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WeAllHaveWings · 15/01/2016 14:00

Your friend couldn't tell you. You'll get past the anger once the news sinks in, but try your best to be mature and not damage your friendship in the meantime.

I got made redundant from my job I loved in a company I'd been in for 20+ years, with people, friends I'd grown up with, laughed and cried with, been with each other through marriages, divorces, bereavements, health scares the lot.

Life does move on, for nearly all of the 160 people I was made redundant with they have moved on to new jobs that they now love, meeting new people and keeping in touch with the old. Many now see the redundancy as a positive step.

It's a worrying time, for now just give the news time to settle.

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/01/2016 14:05

I'm sorry Flowers

I was made redundant from a job a few years ago, but I was prepared as it was in mortgages so I saw the whole shebang crumble.

I was lucky in that I walked into another job which actually was better paid and more convenient, however it took me SEVEN years at that job before I got the one I'm in now (same company) where I really enjoy and feel good at my job.

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Itscliffmas · 15/01/2016 14:57

It's a completely shit thing to go through, if you haven't been expecting it it's a real head fuck. I really feel for you.
One of the managers involved in my consultation process was completely brilliant, he said that its like going trough the grieving process (which at the time I thought was a bit dramatic) but he was absolutely right. In the end I got signed off with stress for my last 4 weeks as I just couldn't cope with being at work I was so emotional and angry I couldn't carry on as normal. (I managed a team so felt it wasn't fair to them for me to be there in that state either)

I understand you feeling betrayed by your manager but she would have been put in an awful situation and may have jeopardised her position in telling you (and when redundancies are happening the whole work force start to worry wondering if they will be next)

In hindsight I feel like it was the best thing to happen to me. I am so much happier in my new job than I had been for years with the old one. It took me a while to throw myself into this job, I put in the bare minimum for a while as I felt so burnt by my experience with the last company but the culture of this company won me over. Granted I've taken a pay cut but that's okay, I've told myself that it's okay to take a step back in life every so often.
I feel positive that you will feel the same too a year from now.


ThanksWineCake for you!

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Itscliffmas · 15/01/2016 15:07

On the advice front...
If money is a concern spend a few hours looking into what help (JSA, housing benefit, council tax) you can get whilst looking for new jobs.
Have you been given an idea of your redundancy package?

Working this out was peace of mind for me, I put my redundancy money in a separate account and paid myself a set amount each month. I knew exactly how long I had till i was in trouble.

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fiorentina · 15/01/2016 15:17

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Please don't blame your supervisor, even if they knew, they can't tell you and have to follow due process.

As much as it may seem frustrating now, both times I've been made redundant my next role has been better, a promotion, wider experience and more money. You are already studying for the next promotion so go for it and find another role you enjoy. Don't be bitter. Chin up. Flowers

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GwenethPaltrowIamnot · 15/01/2016 15:26

Are you me ?
I absolutely love my job and I think I'm going to lose it , so sad

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DrDreReturns · 15/01/2016 15:46

I was made redundant from a very interesting job four years ago. It was a stressful year, but it all worked out OK in the end. I got another job straight away which isn't as interesting but pays better. The whole company I worked for was shut down, and the vast majority of people found employment again quickly. My old company offered a lot of support to people being made redundant - CV writing help, financial advice etc. Is there any of this on offer for you?
As PP have said your superior may have known but not have been able to tell you.

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Dollymixtureyumyum · 15/01/2016 15:50

DH has been made redundant twice and I have had to leave a job due to ill health. Very bitter at the time but honestly it was the best thing that could have happened to us. I got a job at a very positive disability led employer and my DH is teaching now but thinking of coming out and going into the same field I am in

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Obs2016 · 15/01/2016 16:19

These things feel so very tough at the time, but in 5 years we look back and realise what a minor blip it was.

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maggiethemagpie · 15/01/2016 20:02

Don't be angry at your boss. I work in HR and if any manager leaks info to a member of staff before they've been officially told, they face disciplinary action. The decision has probably been made at a much higher level, and she probably feels very uncomfortable in the position she's in (ie knowing but not being able to say)

Most companies are constantly reviewing their staffing structures, the ones that don't are the ones that eventually go bust, unfortunately most people will be made redundant at some point in their lives.

I know it can seem hard to see it now, but it can lead to better and brighter things.

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