So.. today the school sent my DS on a trip i didn't give permission for him to go on...

[Skullyton]

My friend was picking my 9yo and 6yo up after school today, and when she got there, DS wasn't there, and they told her he had gone on the school trip.

The School trip i never filled the form out for, so hadn't given consent for him to go on.

It was only a trip to the local college for a panto, but DS has ASD and needs full time 1:1, and plays scare him, so he was quite adamant when the forms for it were sent home that he didn't want to go, so i never returned the permission slip.

One of the office staff this morning asked me in passing if he was going, and i said "No, i never filled out the permission slip"

So to say i'm a little annoyed is an understatement. Yes he was safe, he was with his 1:1, but i did not give consent for him to go, he should not have been off the school premises!

I called the school as soon as i knew and left a message, but that was at 4.15, and no-ones called back.

How do i approach this in the morning?

[MaryPoppinPills]

By going bat shit crazy.
I'm a ta in a school and there is no way this should have been allowed to happen.

[Skullyton]

I would love to go Batshit Crazy, but i have to maintain a good working relationship with them as we're in the middle of an EHCP assessment for his 1:1!

The more i think about it, the angrier i get!

[RandomMess]

that is really bad.

I guess you ask them what procedures are they going to put in place to ensure that it never happens again!!!

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Go into school and voice your complaint.
Do not discuss it on here.

[99percentchocolate]

That is pretty outrageous! Was it the 9 or 6 year old? I would definitely be phoning the head for an explanation.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Bad move from his teacher, what was she thinking?

[ThenLaterWhenItGotDark]

Blimeyheck Skulls, is he back now? Is he OK?

[QuiteLikely5]

It was probably a mistake. Why get so angry if their was no malicious intent behind it?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Quite because he wasn't where his Mother expected him to be.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

QuiteLikelythe fact that a child without a permission slip has been taken on a trip is a huge issue, malicious intent or not.

And, to be fair, a school overriding the wishes of a child and the parent is pretty damned malicious.

[noblegiraffe]

Crikey, what a cock-up. Hopefully you will get a full apology and a promise to review procedures in the morning.

Perhaps rather than not returning the slip, next time it would be better to return the slip with a firm NO and written explanation, because that's less likely to be overlooked than a missing slip.

I hope your DS enjoyed the panto.

[AGreatBigWorld]

Quitelikely for all the reasons the OP gave in the first post!!

[BertrandRussell]

Don't "go batshit crazy"

Be very calm and cool and find out what happened and express your extreme displeasure. But don't scream or shout or anything like that- it won't get you anywhere.

[Skullyton]

He was fine luckily, but it could have gone either way, pantos/costumes really scare him!

[Skullyton]

oh, and it was the 9yo.

[christinarossetti]

It"s a serious error on the school's part, but doesn't sound malicious.

Speak to the teacher and 1:1 tomorrow, and then escalate it if necessary.

[LittleBeautyBelle]

Can you ask your son how he felt about it? Did he enjoy the day?

You're right, the school shouldn't have sent him along without a permission slip. Do they have provision for when some children don't go on the field trips? What do they do at school while the other kids are gone?

Anyway, yanbu to be upset. I would talk to ds first though and hope he enjoyed the day out, perhaps if he did then maybe he is able to handle more than you think. That would be a milestone for him and he could participate more in the field trips.

But yes, definitely find out what happened in the order of events that someone decided he was going on the field trip and get that corrected. Sounds worrying, I can relate to your concerns!

[LittleBeautyBelle]

Sorry, I just saw your update.

[Skullyton]

No it wasn't malicious, and yes he was fine and he enjoyed it.

But this is beside the point!

[ruthsmaoui77]

You are justified to be shocked and angry. I have two ASD sons and I would be very concerned if the school took them on a trip I hadn't consented to. Children with ASD can be very unpredictable and need special care. Be calm though and speak to the school clearly expressing your concerns. You need to keep a good relationship with them for your son's sake, but equally you need to know that they take your concerns seriously. Good Luck.

[DaisyDando]

I doubt very much that a primary school taking a young child to a pantomime was done 'maliciously.'
They are in the wrong and they should have taken much greater care, but it's most probably an unfortunate mistake.
It's a worry that a TA advises immediately to go 'batshit crazy.' The vast majority of teachers and TAs worry themselves silly taking children on school trips and dread mistakes like this.
I can understand you're angry OP, and thankfully you want to maintain a good relationship.
Give them a chance to apologise and explain; and if you're satisfied, then you can move on from this. Good luck.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Are you sure you didn't have to fill out the slip ONLY to deny permission? So no slip returned = permission?

[gamerchick]

Maybe next time return the slip rather than ignore it. There also seems to be a bright side in that your son is able to do something he didn't think he could before. Point or no point. He's done brilliant.

[christinarossetti]

Yes, it's a serious error and sounds like the school need to revise their systems.

Was there no conversation about the trip yesterday or this morning? My dc"s school are always in a state of high activity before trips checking who is and isn't going, reminding parents of different pick up tes etc