So.. today the school sent my DS on a trip i didn't give permission for him to go on...

(259 Posts)
Skullyton Thu 14-Jan-16 17:02:03

My friend was picking my 9yo and 6yo up after school today, and when she got there, DS wasn't there, and they told her he had gone on the school trip.

The School trip i never filled the form out for, so hadn't given consent for him to go on.

It was only a trip to the local college for a panto, but DS has ASD and needs full time 1:1, and plays scare him, so he was quite adamant when the forms for it were sent home that he didn't want to go, so i never returned the permission slip.

One of the office staff this morning asked me in passing if he was going, and i said "No, i never filled out the permission slip"

So to say i'm a little annoyed is an understatement. Yes he was safe, he was with his 1:1, but i did not give consent for him to go, he should not have been off the school premises!

I called the school as soon as i knew and left a message, but that was at 4.15, and no-ones called back.

How do i approach this in the morning?

MaryPoppinPills Thu 14-Jan-16 17:07:09

By going bat shit crazy.
I'm a ta in a school and there is no way this should have been allowed to happen.

Skullyton Thu 14-Jan-16 17:09:20

I would love to go Batshit Crazy, but i have to maintain a good working relationship with them as we're in the middle of an EHCP assessment for his 1:1!

The more i think about it, the angrier i get!

RandomMess Thu 14-Jan-16 17:10:31

shock that is really bad.

I guess you ask them what procedures are they going to put in place to ensure that it never happens again!!!

GoblinLittleOwl Thu 14-Jan-16 17:12:00

Go into school and voice your complaint.
Do not discuss it on here.

Euphemia Thu 14-Jan-16 17:12:21

It's strange that the permission slip didn't give the option to deny your permission. Nonetheless, non-return of the slip amounts to the same thing.

The school should have contacted you to discuss why you hadn't returned the slip. They certainly shouldn't have taken him.

99percentchocolate Thu 14-Jan-16 17:13:48

That is pretty outrageous! Was it the 9 or 6 year old? I would definitely be phoning the head for an explanation.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 14-Jan-16 17:16:30

Bad move from his teacher, what was she thinking?

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Thu 14-Jan-16 17:17:09

Blimeyheck Skulls, is he back now? Is he OK?

QuiteLikely5 Thu 14-Jan-16 17:17:15

It was probably a mistake. Why get so angry if their was no malicious intent behind it?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 14-Jan-16 17:19:19

Quite because he wasn't where his Mother expected him to be.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Thu 14-Jan-16 17:19:56

QuiteLikelythe fact that a child without a permission slip has been taken on a trip is a huge issue, malicious intent or not.

And, to be fair, a school overriding the wishes of a child and the parent is pretty damned malicious.

noblegiraffe Thu 14-Jan-16 17:22:01

Crikey, what a cock-up. Hopefully you will get a full apology and a promise to review procedures in the morning.

Perhaps rather than not returning the slip, next time it would be better to return the slip with a firm NO and written explanation, because that's less likely to be overlooked than a missing slip.

I hope your DS enjoyed the panto.

AGreatBigWorld Thu 14-Jan-16 17:22:12

Quitelikely for all the reasons the OP gave in the first post!!

BertrandRussell Thu 14-Jan-16 17:23:40

Don't "go batshit crazy"

Be very calm and cool and find out what happened and express your extreme displeasure. But don't scream or shout or anything like that- it won't get you anywhere.

Skullyton Thu 14-Jan-16 17:23:58

He was fine luckily, but it could have gone either way, pantos/costumes really scare him!

Skullyton Thu 14-Jan-16 17:24:17

oh, and it was the 9yo.

christinarossetti Thu 14-Jan-16 17:25:31

It"s a serious error on the school's part, but doesn't sound malicious.

Speak to the teacher and 1:1 tomorrow, and then escalate it if necessary.

LittleBeautyBelle Thu 14-Jan-16 17:27:17

Can you ask your son how he felt about it? Did he enjoy the day?

You're right, the school shouldn't have sent him along without a permission slip. Do they have provision for when some children don't go on the field trips? What do they do at school while the other kids are gone?

Anyway, yanbu to be upset. I would talk to ds first though and hope he enjoyed the day out, perhaps if he did then maybe he is able to handle more than you think. That would be a milestone for him and he could participate more in the field trips.

But yes, definitely find out what happened in the order of events that someone decided he was going on the field trip and get that corrected. Sounds worrying, I can relate to your concerns!

LittleBeautyBelle Thu 14-Jan-16 17:27:48

Sorry, I just saw your update.

Skullyton Thu 14-Jan-16 17:30:08

No it wasn't malicious, and yes he was fine and he enjoyed it.

But this is beside the point!

ruthsmaoui77 Thu 14-Jan-16 17:32:36

You are justified to be shocked and angry. I have two ASD sons and I would be very concerned if the school took them on a trip I hadn't consented to. Children with ASD can be very unpredictable and need special care. Be calm though and speak to the school clearly expressing your concerns. You need to keep a good relationship with them for your son's sake, but equally you need to know that they take your concerns seriously. Good Luck.

DaisyDando Thu 14-Jan-16 17:32:55

I doubt very much that a primary school taking a young child to a pantomime was done 'maliciously.'
They are in the wrong and they should have taken much greater care, but it's most probably an unfortunate mistake.
It's a worry that a TA advises immediately to go 'batshit crazy.' The vast majority of teachers and TAs worry themselves silly taking children on school trips and dread mistakes like this.
I can understand you're angry OP, and thankfully you want to maintain a good relationship.
Give them a chance to apologise and explain; and if you're satisfied, then you can move on from this. Good luck.

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 14-Jan-16 17:33:26

Are you sure you didn't have to fill out the slip ONLY to deny permission? So no slip returned = permission?

gamerchick Thu 14-Jan-16 17:33:37

Maybe next time return the slip rather than ignore it. There also seems to be a bright side in that your son is able to do something he didn't think he could before. Point or no point. He's done brilliant.

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