to feel embarrassed about accepting drinks

(19 Posts)
lazyarse123 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:04:06

I am currently in quite severe financial hardship, most people at work are aware of this.My problem is that this evening everyone is going for a drink to celebrate a colleagues 60th birthday, i wasn't going to go as even paying for one drink is beyond me at the moment. At least four of my friends have pressed me to go and all have offered to buy me a drink, i don't know if it feels right to accept drinks when i can't reciprocate. wwyd.

ChristmasCabbage Thu 14-Jan-16 16:07:02

I would go. If your friends know your situation and are offering to buy you a drink then they're clearly fine with it and want you there. I think it's nice that they're being discreet about it (assume from your post that they are).

Tell them thank you, that you'd reciprocate if you could. And, indeed, you will when you're back on your feet financially.

ThereIsIron Thu 14-Jan-16 16:07:59

I would go.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Thu 14-Jan-16 16:08:03

Absolutely fine, as long as you haven't been dropping heavy hints. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want to do it. Don't take the piss though by getting blotto for free!

Either buy them a drink back when you can, or repay them sooner with some other kindness. Make a cake (costs much less than buying a coke in a pub), or offer to give them a lift somewhere, or do the coffee run in work for a week (even if it's free crap from the klix machine). Or you could just send everyone an email saying how much you appreciated their kindness.

Janeymoo50 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:08:43

I'd go, accept a drink graciously and when your situation improves you repay them in kind.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 14-Jan-16 16:08:52

I'd happily pay for a drink for a colleague who couldn't afford one. Honestly. I'll be buying drinks anyway, and I'd rather have the company of good colleagues even if it costs a few quid extra.

They know that you can't reciprocate, they've offered anyway. Accept with grace and enjoy yourself. They clearly want your company, so don't snub them.

theycallmemellojello Thu 14-Jan-16 16:09:26

I agree you probably shouldn't accept all four drinks, but I think accepting one is fine. Just say you'll get them back next time (and obvs do it when you can!). Or else just go and don't drink.

MaidOfStars Thu 14-Jan-16 16:10:34

Having been in the position of offering, I can assure you it is a genuine gesture that reflects a desire to have you present!

Cabrinha Thu 14-Jan-16 16:11:41

I'd be gutted if a friend wouldn't let me buy them a drink!

scarlets Thu 14-Jan-16 16:12:37

They sound lovely!

DrivingMissLazy1 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:13:04

I couldn't stand the thought of standing there waiting for someone to buy me a drink. I'm not very good at accepting kindness although I would be one of the first to offer if it was the other way around.

Kelsoooo Thu 14-Jan-16 16:15:02

When I offer to "sub" a night out, or get them a drink if they're skint...it's genuine. I imagine it's the case for your friends too.

Kelsoooo Thu 14-Jan-16 16:16:02

And I've been on nights out with friends where it's the week before I get paid or I've been skint, they've subbed the whole night and either I reciprocate in kind when I get the money or in some other way...

Thurlow Thu 14-Jan-16 16:19:08

I'd go. They're being nice, and I would happily pay £4 for a friend to come and enjoy a night rather than stay in for the lack of me paying an extra £4. I'd drink quite slowly, and definitely not order anything expensive. And then when you are able to, reciprocate, even if it is baking something to bring in for them.

lazyarse123 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:22:53

Thank you, i will go, the comments about them wanting me there nearly had me crying. I did tell one young man that i only usually have a coke, he said you can definitely come then i haven't had a cheap date for ages ( I am twice his age and he does like to tease me).They are a great bunch of people.

Duckdeamon Thu 14-Jan-16 16:24:44

You all sound like good colleagues!

BanningTheWordNaice Thu 14-Jan-16 16:25:06

Gosh that's lovely. Definitely go, I've secretly subbed friends when I've wanted to do something but known they couldn't afford it - they obviously would really like to see you!

Leelu6 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:33:50

They sound lovely (and so do you). I think you should go. You could always bring in a some biccies as a thank you! It really is the thought that counts sometimes.

badg3r Thu 14-Jan-16 16:47:40

Go, sounds like they are a great bunch!
But it is a weird one and I know what you mean, having been on both sides of the fence, if you're the one offering it makes you feel great that you're helping someone out and they are getting to join in when otherwise they wouldn't. But on the other hand, getting everything bought for me has in the past made me feel a bit down.

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