AIBU my cleaner keeps using things!

[SpecialLittleLady]

My cleaner has opened a brand new reed defuser which I got in the sales and was keeping for when the newish one we have out is finished. The thing that has really pissed me off is she put it on the shelf next to the one we already have out and threw away the lid so I can't put it away so now have 2 fancy £20 smelly things out at the same time! Would I be a cow to confront her about it?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Your title is misleading, what else has she used?

So far she's opened a reed diffuser, I don't think that, by itself , is that bad and in need of 'confrontation'.

[SecretNutellaFix]

And you are 100% sure it was your cleaner and not anyone else living in the house?

[sykadelic]

There's no need to confront her, but you could just ask her why she took out a new one when one was already out. There could be a rationale to it that you didn't notice. Or you could tell her you noticed it, that it bothered you and then ask her where she put the lid so you can put it away (unless she already told her she threw it out).

How long has she been with you? She could have thought she was doing the right thing because honestly, I think it's pretty hard to get that balance so she just might need you to tell her that all you need her do is X and Y and you'll handle Z.

[SpecialLittleLady]

Sorry I typed this just after noticing so was a tad she has taken things out of wrapping like candles which were being saved and has a thing about throwing things that are neatly empty away. She cannot be trusted with toothpaste, shower / bath stuff and cleaning products that are running by low but still a good few used left in them. There was about an inch of my clinique clarifying lotion left bug did threw it away etc. Do other people's cleaners do this? She has been here about a year.

[ReggaeShark]

I've never heard the like! Sounds like she thinks she's a housekeeper rather than a cleaner. You need to tell her.

[Salmotrutta]

I don't have a cleaner so don't know much about duties/expectations etc. but I would never consider that a cleaner would be deciding when items like candles or diffusers get opened and used!

Or throwing away stuff that still has a few uses left.

[EponasWildDaughter]

Just take a moment with her to say:

Hi , i've been meaning ask you; i'd prefer it if you wouldn't throw old toiletries away please. I can be sure i've used it all up that way. Also, i'd rather you didn't open any new packaging unless i've left it out on the x,y,z (work top, by the bath, whatever). Thanks ever so much.

If you're going to have people working for you, you need to learn to politely tell them when you have a specific request. No need for any 'confronting'.

[HormonalHeap]

Just ask her to wait till stuff's finished before discarding?

[InYearAdmissions]

My cleaner used to do this. She once threw away a bag and receipt of a bra I had hanging in bag on my bedroom door handle that I was going to take back and put it in my drawer. That really hacked me off. She did other things over stepping mark. Eventually it was too much so she doesn't clean for me anymore.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Is "throwing away old toiletries" normally within a cleaner's remit anyway? I thought they just dusted, cleaned and vacuumed.

[YouBastardSockBalls]

What Epona said

[thebestfurchinchilla]

I would ask her just to clean and leave the opening and replacing to you. I've never had a cleaner but have never heard of them opening stuff for you, is that usual?

[f1ddlesticks]

Don't think its usual for a cleaner to open new things or throw unfinished stuff away. Ours keeps everything that could possibly be construed as useful rather than rubbish, eg rubber bands, empty plastic bags etc, and pops it neatly somewhere in case we need it.

I wouldn't confront your cleaner though, just ask her not to. If she hasn't been told she's not going to know there's a problem.

[Thebookswereherfriends]

I used to be a cleaner and the only things I would throw away would be the cleaning materials if used up and things in a bin. She is overstepping the mark and you should explain that you would like her stop opening anything not related to the cleaning.

[peppielillyan]

The cleaner's job is to clean, polish and shine your house to the same level as she lives in there.
If there is too much nonsense in the drawers along the dust and dirt, well then she has done it well!

[Headmelt]

First World Problem.
Do you realise op, there are people dying of hunger and fleeing their homes in war torn Countries just to survive and you're moaning about getting the last squeeze out of a bottle of cleanser

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

Don't be a twat Headmelt.

Just asked her not to open or replace things

[2rebecca]

I think you've mistaken mumsnet for the halo polishing site headmelt.
I'd just ask her not to open, throw out or replace stuff OP. That isn't normal cleaner behaviour.

[Whatdoidohelp]

Just have a word with her. She is working for you, she isn't a mind reader ffs

[Tiredmumno1]

I agree with majestic on both points, OP just ask her or tell her you'd rather she didn't touch those things without your permission, just keep it nice and friendly.

headmelt that statement could be used for every thread on here, so what you are saying is we may as well not bother talking at all. It also has absolutely nothing to do with the OP.

[ManneryTowers]

The only things our cleaner throws out are bags from the bins and empty cleaning product bottles. If I would like particular soap/candle/reeds put out I leave them on the kitchen table.

Just have a word face to face. It would be an opportunity to review the arrangement in general and check she is happy, too.

And yes, it may be a first world problem, but the first world is the world the OP lives in, so it's a problem to her!

[Pumpkinpositive]

First World Problem.
Do you realise op, there are people dying of hunger and fleeing their homes in war torn Countries just to survive and you're moaning about getting the last squeeze out of a bottle of cleanser

2/10 for effort. You should have chastised her for having a cleaner in the first place, when there are people fleeing despotic regimes on inflatable lilos.

Obviously there is a direct correlation between the two things.

[Pipbin]

Well Headmelt why don't you stop typing on your expensive computer/phone via your expensive internet connection and go an help those people rather than sitting here bitching about stuff like that? Do you say to women discussing clothes that there are other women out there without any clothes? Do you say to women discussing recipes that there are women in the world dying of hunger? Do you tell women asking of advice on an abortion that there are other women who would give a limb to get pregnant. No. But because cleaning your house is something that is seen as women's work it is deemed OK for people to be rude to people who have cleaners?
What about if this was a thread with someone complaining about the service in a restaurant? Would you tell them that they shouldn't be eating out as there are people starving?
There is no difference in paying someone to clean your house than paying someone to make you a meal or a coffee. You could do those things yourself but you are either too short of time or frankly they do it better.