DH's son is 20 years old. DH thinks I make no effort with him but I'm unsure as to what is a fair expectation really. For one thing he's very difficult to talk to but I do try and make conversation - thing is the lad does nothing all week, he has no hobbies and no job, doesn't go out with friends or anything so his conversation is very limited. Dh thinks I should tell him I like his shirt etc but isn't that a bit "forced"? dH also thinks I should offer him drinks and crisps etc when he's around but I think that is very infantising for a 20 year old man!! He still visits for access visits every weekend and I feel like DH wants me to baby him like he does but I just can't. I don't baby my own (younger) kids so I'm not going to pamper a 20 year old. DH runs up and downstairs with drinks and sandwiches and crisps etc for him and I feel it unfair that he expects me to behave the same.
On top of all this I find myself becomming more and more distanced from him. He's very pretentious and recently I asked him if he fancied a FREE holiday to Greece with us. He started ranting on about how Greece's economy is destroyed and it's an unsafe country because they're all poor and desperate and it's all their own fault that their economy has collapsed because they're all so lazy and didn't work hard enough - this coming from a man who has never worked a day in his life!! And it's not that he's turned the holiday down because of his age, when we suggested somewhere more to his liking he was all up for it!
On top of this, he will not pay for a passport so as well as paying for his flights, accommodation and good whilst he's on holiday we're also having to renew his passport for him!! I'm just finding it harder and harder to connect with him and DH is piling the pressure on telling me I need to make more effort, tell him I like his clothes and keep offering him crisps and drinks! He's 20 years old!!
AIBU or should I be making more effort?
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AIBU?
To think DH holds unfair expectations regarding my behaviour towards his son?
36 replies
SnotBagMaterial · 05/01/2016 11:00
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
05/01/2016 11:33
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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