To dread next Christmas already?

(53 Posts)
Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:36:30

Hello all. Happy New Year! Had a fab Christmas this year but it has dawned on me that next year we will have to have my cousin. This fills me with dread. Of course she is coming to ours but I need help already on how to deal with her behaviour with is bizarre and I do wonder if it's indicative of something ? Examples are

She has a very limited and narrow field of conversation and,it appears, thought. She is obsessed with mine and DH careers, what qualifications we have and will ask constantly why we aren't doing masters or going up pay bands. This occurs to the stage were you just feel like it's a criticism or attack almost

She stares at people and when you catch her gaze she does a very odd smile and it just makes me feel uncomfortable

She will go on and on about things that happened 20 years ago and will never let anything go.

She criticises all her friends partners and feels it's appropriate to tell me all their private business.

I could go on but I can't believe that I'm dreading this already! Please give me some positive thoughts.

MuttonDressedAsMutton Sun 03-Jan-16 17:40:17

Sorry - why do you have to have her?

hiddenhome2 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:40:49

Hire a hitman?

jelliebelly Sun 03-Jan-16 17:41:26

Why do you need to invite her?

calzone Sun 03-Jan-16 17:42:34

Book a cottage in Scotland.

cowssheephens Sun 03-Jan-16 17:42:59

Does she have ASD?

SurferJet Sun 03-Jan-16 17:43:11

Fake your own death - you've got a good 10 months to plan it.

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:47:32

Some of these answers have made me laugh thanks. She is an only child and her parents have died. I think I'm the one who will tolerate her and my DH is very tolerant too! Tbf it is my turn although some of our other cousins have said flat out no. I couldn't bear anyone being alone at Christmas.

YellowDinosaur Sun 03-Jan-16 17:48:05

Why do you have to have her? No one has the right to have an invitation into your home.

Damselindestress Sun 03-Jan-16 17:48:48

Look if you don't like her why do you have to have her for Christmas? That's not fair on either of you. You have plenty of time to make up an excuse or sort out an alternative instead of spending the year dreading it.

YellowDinosaur Sun 03-Jan-16 17:49:47

Cross posted. Do you socialise with her normally? Because I wouldn't be inviting someone who made me and my family feel awkward into my home in this situation unless there was an otherwise close relationship.

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:50:06

I know she has no one else though and as much as I find her difficult she is a family member. Also being alone at Christmas must be awful

StealthPolarBear Sun 03-Jan-16 17:51:42

Is she much younger? If you feel a family tie to have her then I'd say you're close enough to challenge her nicely about her behaviour (in advance).
does she have many friends? ?

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:51:50

Dinosaur we see her at family occasions ie weddings funeral etc and she is on my Facebook. I only have 6 cousins so the pool is quite small so to speak. We see her about 5 times a year. My mum and her mum we're close though so I feel bad not having her.

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:53:23

Polar bear she is over 10 years older. Her behaviour has been ongoing for a long long time and despite challenges never alters. It's like she can't help it to some extent- either that or she's got one hell of a brass neck! She has friends but it appears they tolerate her and don't actively involve her if that makes sense.

YellowDinosaur Sun 03-Jan-16 17:54:28

If she is alone at Christmas because of her behaviour it's her own doing. Unless there was a good reason (such as asd) when I'd probably accept the need to take my turn to have her so she's not alone, I'd think though shit to be honest. Is there more back story?

StealthPolarBear Sun 03-Jan-16 17:54:56

Hmm that is difficult.
I'm with you though. I couldn't not invote her if the alternative was her being alone

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:57:04

Dinosaur she was queried ASD as a child but her mother wouldn't have it so never got any formal diagnosis or help. A part of me thinks she can't help it but it's annoying. DH and I are ttc at present so it is likely (hopefully) that we could have a new baby or me be very pregnant and then I would be saying sorry but no and refer back to my cousins!

Bakeoffcake Sun 03-Jan-16 17:57:44

Can you invite others too, so there are lots of people to dilute the situation?

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 17:59:31

Hi cake I find other people can make it worse as she appears to play up! Chances are we will have FIL,BIL,DH aunt and Uncle and my parents and sister so a far few other people there. God forgive me but I dislike her being around DH family because they must all be shocked by her

notquitehuman Sun 03-Jan-16 18:01:55

Book a week in the Bahamas?

Sorry, but if someone acted that way I wouldn't be inviting them again. Spending xmas alone is not the end of the world, and it might give her a chance to evaluate her behaviour.

lizzydrippingsghost Sun 03-Jan-16 18:03:14

alot can happen between now and next christmas, she could be married have a family of her own by then wait until november then start stressing

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 18:03:46

I know human but I was close to her parents and I'd feel like I was letting them down.

Alicewasinwonderland Sun 03-Jan-16 18:04:04

Plan disaster-proof food (no fussing required)

and LOADS of alcohol (for you).

Flamingoblue1 Sun 03-Jan-16 18:04:53

Lizzie she is highly unlikely to get married as she hasn't had a relationship for years and cannot have children so that will not happen.

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