help me get rid of visitor

[ncforthe1000thtime]

popped in for glass of wine 7 hours ago, no sign of leaving, despite having wife and poorly child waiting for him at home. Want him to leave now, any tips?

[RNBrie]

Go to bed?

[memyselfandaye]

Tell him hes a selfish arse for leaving his wife to care for his sick child for 7 hours while he goes out socialising.

[janethegirl2]

Text a mate who needs you to go pick him up

[TowerRavenSeven]

Tell him you don't feel well and you hate to cut it short (!!) but you need to lie down (alone!)

[GingerIvy]

Tell him to go home. Sometimes blunt is the best way to go.

[pinkyredrose]

Tell him in a cheery voice that it's time to fuck off home now, you need to wax your armpits, or something.

[FlatOnTheHill]

Tell him you have headache and need to go to bed.

[LadyB49]

Tell him it's time to go home to his wife!

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

"we're off to bed in a minute, not bothered about NYE. can you head home?"

[Diggum]

Nip upstairs and change into pyjamas and fluffy slippers. Return down yawning and winding an alarm clock (or miming that action, as who the bloody hell has a wind-up alarm clock these days?).

[EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard]

Call him a taxi and persuade him he ordered it.
Would work so long as he doesn't live in your street.

[YouTheCat]

Be very direct because no normal person would outstay their welcome this spectacularly.

Tell him to fuck off.

I once had a neighbour turn up at 10pm on NYE (my only night off work) who turned the tv on to a fucking western and drank all my whisky.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Explain that you have norovirus.

[Mmmmcake123]

Bathsheba pipped me to it. Splash water on your face and tell him you've just bee really sick

[pinkyredrose]

Just tell him it's time to go otherwise his wife might think you're having an affair.

[MrsBobDylan]

What the fuck? 7 hours? Just thinking about it is bring on a cold sweat.

Tell him to go home. Don't smile as you say it, don't give a reason. Just guide him to the door and lock it once he's firmly on the other side.

[AnnieOnAMapleLeaf]

What am I missing? Just tell him to leave? I'm befuddled as to why you didn't tell him to go 4 or 5 hours ago?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Is he still there?

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I had a guest like this once. He ignored me getting changed and ready for bed, and then ignored me getting into bed - originally carried on talking to me through the closed door, then opened the bedroom door and stood in the doorway talking.

He text me the next day to day he'd left after I'd fallen asleep but had taken some peanuts from the cupboard because he was hungry and he hoped that was okay

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

Go to bed.

Mutter something about him being welcome to sleep on the sofa if he likes. Produce a mangy old cushion/blanket, sniff it and mutter some vague apology about the damn cat.

Offer him a Horlicks.

[MooseTrap]

This could never happen with me. I'm not rude but I'd ave asked him to leave ages ago.

'I'm sorry but I've got to do something so I'm going to have to ask you to leave now' stand up, collect the glasses and motion him towards the door, if they mess around I just get firmer and more direct. I'm polite and I smile but it doesn't bother me if its a wee bit embarrassing fo them.

[UnGoogleable]

He's clearly hoping to see the New Year in with you OP.....

Unless you've got rid of him by now?

[fuctifino]

Tell him you need to pop to your neighbour/mum's house and go through the motions of getting ready to go.

Is there a neighbour you can seek refuge with for a bit whilst he goes?

[ImtheChristmasCarcass]

Seriously? Anyone I know well enough to let hang at my house for 7 hours I know well enough to just tell them to go home. Especially if they have a wife and child at home waiting!