To never want to celebrate Christmas again

[crepeyneck]

This is third Christmas as single parent to three teenagers. They spend the whole time in each others rooms and I am alone for four days. In total I have had company for 2 hours.. I have spoken to them about this before and nothing changes. I feel so upset that I am not even given a second thought....

[MamaLazarou]

YANBU. I'm sorry. Can you plan to do something different next year?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I have three teenagers and they don't spend much time with me either. We all get on very well, but they like playing ps4 games etc, which I have no interest in.

[crepeyneck]

I am stuck with them while Disney dad has a wonderful Christmas with OW and her teenage children. My chikdren are 16 17 and 19.

[damselinthisdress]

YANBU. I'm cancelling next Christmas too, except it's DP instead of teenagers making it shitty!

[crepeyneck]

This has caused a lot of resentment I am afraid as I can't put up with being treated with so little regard. There have been very personal insults too

[AuntieStella]

Oh, that sounds horrid.

And yes, I think scaling back Christmas next year could be a very good idea.

But the problem (of separate lives under the same roof) is probably year round. Is there anything that they still like doing together, that you can build on to get a few more good shared times before they fly the nest?

[winterswan]

There is absolutely no way you should have to put up with personal insults.

But I also wonder if you are trying a little hard?

[crepeyneck]

Nothing I can think of I bought films we all like to watch but they were a waste of money. I won't be doing anything for Christmas next year.

[jeanne16]

My DD just left to go back to her shared house and didn't bother to take any of the gifts I bought for her. She barely said goodbye. I am sitting here feeling totally s**t.

[crepeyneck]

I have just waited for them to remember I am in the house alone as I gave up with the film thing but they are just having so much fun to even think there is someone alone the whole of Christmas. I don't think I am going to be able to forgive this easily

[lorelei9]

crepey - sorry.

I vote you spend it with my rellies - who love to make a fuss and cook and sing etc - and I will keep an eye on your teens.

I don't normally to offer to babysit but this sounds like a win win!!

[crepeyneck]

Oh Jeanne that is dreadful.

[BalthazarImpresario]

Personal insults not on but I remember being that age, friends / boyfriends and being in my own space were what I wanted to do.
If left to their own devices and you spoil yourself next year I bet ask would think it was a great time.
Expectations have a habit of kicking us in the face. Especially when we are forces to regard Christmas as a time when everyone is happy and playing board games etc when in reality most of us have sat eating shit. Watching TV and wishing it would for back to normal.

I'd plan my ultimate spoil feat for next year, be selfish, you deserve it.

[OldFarticus]

Sorry to hear this Crepey. Yes, I think you would be entirely justified in scaling back Christmas for the ungrateful little sods darlings next year. Personal insults are way out of line.

My Christmas was rubbish too for different reasons and I am already planning to spend next year alone doing something intrepid and exciting. Why not do something entirely selfish next year? Planning that will make you feel better now too.

And the delightful teenagers will probably love spending time with you when they are older.

[anonooo]

That is rotten. Do they know how you feel? I sometimes think that teenagers are really wrapped up in their own worlds. It was always so, but with social media it is exacerbated, my DN spent Christmas intermittently checking her phone, updating her friends on what was happening and so on....and she is one of the politer kids.
Maybe next year you should just take yourself off for a nice little break and stop trying.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

It sounds like your relationship with them isn't great, to be honest. Have you thought about why that is?

[crepeyneck]

Lorelei lol x

[dodgeballqueen]

What are they doing in their rooms? If they're on pc's, consoles etc I'd move them all into the living room

[crepeyneck]

We normally have a good relationship but their behaviour at Christmas is always dreadful. That is why I get so hurt and upset as it is like the whole year was an illusion

[dodgeballqueen]

Insults are another matter altogether though. I don't have teenagers but am dreading that sort of thing. Sorry that you didn't have a very enjoyable Christmas

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Leave them to it. Plan your own daya get out and visit. Soon realise theres no dinner etc.
Tell them now its how its going to be.

[serin]

Personal insults?

I would be on strike.

Maybe you should plan something for yourself next year! go over to your nice new partners or help at a homeless hostel (where you will be valued).

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Then why do they turn into antisocial brats at xmas? What's different?

[Penfold007]

Then don't do Christmas again. Use 2016 to build your own independent life. Inform your children that you will no longer tolerate their rudeness and disrespect after all the 19 year old is an adult and can sort out their own accommodation and the other two can move in with Disney dad.

[lorelei9]

tbh I'd cut them some slack

I found Christmas horrible as a teen, still hate it now. All mates away, just want to be left in peace. They may be feeling the same.

Personal insults never acceptable - but staying in room and playing games seems fair. I posted on MN a few times over Xmas when I could get away from rellies. Well, so did quite a few of us.

It is such a bizarre set of expectations for the day as well.